Oh fuck... fuck

> Oh fuck... fuck...

>Umm hey, user. I think I might have put on a few pounds over the past few moths... sorry!

>do you think you can help me lose some weight?

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You'll lose a few pounds when you're tied up in my basement.

>basement? Fuck! I hope you have an elevator installed...

Oh don't worry. I'm sure you'll roll right down the stairs.

>Oh fuck you, user! I...im not that big!

>in my basement
Redditer sad attempt at edge,go home nigger

Where is the feeding tube n cake your not fat enough

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I'm sure you aren't. Even if you were skinny you'd roll down the stairs.
Where else would I keep her? In my attic? You're not edgy for calling me a nigger, and I'm not edgy for saying I want to keep someone in my basement.

>haha ... really funny user. Im glad you think this is so fucking hilarious... are you going to help me or not?

>Fine... whatever. Just, i don't know. I appreciate the help, user.

No problem. I hope you don't kink shame, because I've got a few weird ones.

>like what, user?

Do I need to tell you right now? You'll need to promise not to shame me first.

>No promises lol, but I can at least assume you that I'm not a stranger to weird things...

I see. What kind of weird things are we talking about?

>lol i just mean im a weird person. You should know that by now...

Alright. That makes sense. But I guess I have no choice but to tell you huh?

>just tell me already, user! Lol fuck im getting hungry...

I'm into necrophilia, crush and torture. I'm into less weird things as well. It might seem like I'm trying to seem cool but I'm really not, I don't think this is cool in any way.

ok boomer IoI

Stop with your feeding fetish, user. There's far more entertaining perversion out there.

C...crush? Like... as in how?

Heh. Have you heard of videos where people step on small animals, usually in high heels, for sexual pleasure? Yeah, that.

>i... i don't even think i could wear high heels even if i wanted to.

It doesn't have to just be in high heels. It can be in boots, flip flops, heck even barefoot for all I care. What's important in the crushing part.

>I want to stop... its just so hard staying motivated on my own!

We just need to find a morbidly obese woman to crush you and scare you straight. Get the failwagon, we're going to Wisconsin!

Hold on. Did you just say crush?

>oh fuck user... i don't want to go anywhere. My couch is soooo comfy!

Get in faggot, this is going to be a good time for everyone!

I knew you wouldn't want me around after I told you my kinks. I'll be seeing myself out toodles.