How can I cause myself to have a mental break down? want to see what it feels like

step 1. become a nazi by being on Yas Forums constantly
2. go outside
3.?
4. profit

Choose a method and document results

#3 is get a job

I don't know why you want to experience something like this since it's not fun, user. I hope you aren't a normie teenager who think mental problems are cool.
But okay, I'll give you tips.
1. Start drinking alcohol
2. Start smoking
3. Do heavy drugs if possible
4. Isolate yourself, stop talking with people, if you have friends, ditch them
5. Eat less, preferably 2 small meals per day
6. Start sleeping less, start with 5 hours and try to go to 0
7. Keep reminding yourself you're hated by everyone

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> b/ me
> loner. Never get girlfriend.
> Finally 10 in school notices me.
> shes amazing and she likes.. Me?!
> we dated for a year.
> she then leaves me for rich dude.
> Im a loner again.
> chase girls, chasing good feels.
> never happy. Never find those feels.
> never feel fulfilled again.
> develop drug problem.
> get clean.

Flash forward 15 years.

> now have two kids.
> still feel completely empty.
> hold it together for my kids.
> girl gets job at my mas restaurant
> now i see her all the time.
> break down crying.
> I sit, drink my drinks and leave quietly.
> feel like a ghost.

Im not too sure about mental breakdowns but I can tell you the empty feeling of not existing to the one that means the world to you is pure hell.

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Not gonna lie this really sounds like hell. Have you ever tried looking her in the eyes?

take benzos for two years then stop cold turkey

Yeah and it just felt like i wanted to breakdown and ask her to sit and have a drink, so i try not to because idk if that could make things better. She is in a happy relationship, so i dont want to be a sack of shit(other than feeling like one)

Can vouch for this. Though for me it was 6.

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You need to forget this shit bro. This is something that happened 20 years ago. Live for your the future of your kids or whatever you want but don't dwell on the past.