Why are you still "cleaning" your ass with dry paper in 2020?

what are the 3 seashells

Some shit from a movie Demolition man

"Toilet paper"? Toilets are porcelain. Also if you spend time when you shit wadding up paper and smearing it into your asshole then you're a faggot. God made us underwear for a reason - shit and go

I'm glad. Since she transitioned she's been really depressed, probably because of the horrid penis they made out of her thigh meat

After a high class meal at Taco Bell, I go home and use the three seashells.

most bidet seats come with dryers

Kek good bait

"The original idea the writers had was you use two shells to pull and gently extract fecal matter from your body and use the third to scrape and remove what's left. Stallone explained it here (See question 9). If one really doesn't get it, there's a diagram."

There are times when I would blow shit all over that ass shower!

Actually, there have been a number of studies on this and a bidet does not actually do a good job of cleaning your ass. It's all bidet manufactuer's marketing and pr and brainwashed idiots in public actually buying into it and peddling bullshit like you. Setting aside the water being wasted (a big deal in most of the world, actually, and maybe the single largest growing problem for the entire planet as population increases at a far greater rate than ever before with water being limited), the problem is that a significant component of shit and stools is oil and fats. Maybe go back and check your old chemistry class notes but it turns out most dimwits even understand water and oil don't mix. Thus, squirting water up your asshole and all over your asscheeks, splashing loose shit nuggets and deadly staph bacteria (can kill you, and others) all over the toilet and bathroom does nothing for removing the oil-based shit that remains, however thin the film, from your ass. Put simply, all you did was waste a precious resource (water), splash shit all over, and in the end not clean your ass better (actually worse than paper in many ways, setting aside the hemorrhoids you will inevitably cause by using these things--check the studies, it's true), and like a retard you think you are cleaner and more important.

It's an asshole. It's going to be a dirty asshole no matter how much water you squirt all over the place. It's meant to be washed properly in the shower with soap and water. That is actually how you do it, not play fireman's hose on your gay butt all day long and tout how cleaner you are when you just look like a retard to anybody above the standard nigger IQ of 80.

this bidets are incredibly messy and unsanitary
now you are sitting where other people splashed their shit all over the place
have fun with the sepsis roll of the dice

Take a spoon and rub some nutella on a carpet, now turn around and wipe it off with toilet paper behind your back.
Then do the same thing but this time you pour water on it first.
>faggot

To do otherwise would be wasteful.

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>Toilets are porcelain
Idiot

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I'll happily do a nice full enema rinse to clear my colon of shit, but having a stream of water shooting shit off my ass seems like a quick way to land feces everywhere. You'd be better to shit in the shower and just clean the shower after you're done so any spray of fecal material is contained rather than going all over and around the toilet.

not him, but we have no idea what you are babbling on about with nutella, you fucking retard
if ur that fucking stupid to not even stay on point, no doubt you are an ass-splashy candidate for spreading who enjoys squirting his ass juices in a 360 degree radius about your asshole all over the fucking bathroom
idiot

Why do people waste water for that? we have bare hands

This is why you wear two pairs of socks.

>lets a machine shoot shit up his ass
>claims he's not gay
>says he won't let another guy shoot shit up his ass because it's gay
>???

You miss the point entirely. Like shit, nutella is full of oil (in this case, the world's worst oil for the body, hydrogenated palm oil . . . literally nothing worse to fuck up your health permanently, yet like all other things eurotard, you do it and claim you are better). While I agree that in your ridiculously absurd argument by analogy that wiping a glob of nutella off the carpet would not remove all of it, you are apparently too dumb to understand that your analogy proves my point:

1. The toilet paper will grab and remove far more of the nutella log from the carpet than squirting a small hose of water on it (which in fact will displace and scatter the nutella all about). Thus, the toilet paper wins in efficiency of removal and also has the added benefit of not displacing the nutella all over the fucking place.
2. Because nutella is full of oil, the water squirting will, again, do absolutely nothing whatsoever to remove it. Squirt that water all day all over than nutella glob and come back and tell me how much of it you actually REMOVED! In fact, use a firetruck hose. Splash that shit all over your living room. Return here and report how much shit you just splashed all over your walls and retarded eurotard brainwashed family. In contrast, the paper will in fact REMOVE much, but I agree not all, of the nutella. However, the paper will be less likely to splash and smear it all over than the water squirting, thus making less of a mess, not wasting fresh water, and not contaminating everything around it with deadly shit bacteria than can KILL YOU.
3. You are now a certified dumbass retard, also commonly known in the real world as a 'european'. Enjoy your half-baked mind-warped european education that leaves you and the rest of europe never inventing anything or doing anything useful except importing towelheads and rapists to take over your country while you suffer from declining medical standards but think that it is "free" (it isn't).

Why do you care how I clean my asshole?
If you didnt get the (anal)ogy Im not gonna explain it to you
Enjoy your shitstained underwear

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Imagine being so turned on my having a dirty bumhole you have to write a book about it.

You think I dont use toilet paper? I use both lard ass.. And Im not amerifat so my shits not covered in grease
>faggot

As if a little sprinkle would get all the peanut butter out of the shag carpet in my buttcrack. Thank god I only poop every three or four days. I nust take a shower every time.

How the fuck do you sit on the toilet

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>makes retarded thread on the asshole of the internet
>decides topic will be "why are you still "cleaning" your ass with dry paper in 2020?" (also known as, "I'm a Eurotard, completely dumb and have been told by my government that everything we do is perfect and the U.S. (leading the world in all accomplishments) is the one who is fucked up").
>when anons point out to him how dumb and bacwards his ideologies are and that they are incongruent with the basic laws of physics, let alone common sense in cleanliness and not spreading diseases, he replies:
>hurr-durr, "why do you care how I clean my asshole"
>being this fucking dumb
>being this Eurotard
>not knowing they are the same fucking thing

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You remove the tank lid and shit there. Replace the lid and leave. It's called "leaving an upper decker". Have fun, next guy.

>wall of greentext
>imagine buzzwords

I didnt create the thread, I left two replies
have a (you), thats the closest you'll get to human interaction today

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this >I take a shower

But that's the thing. Europeans rarely bathe. They are filthy pigs. They don't take care of their snaggle teeth. They are dirt poor. They are full of mudslimes who increasingly own them as slaves, and throughout their government. They have no guns to overcome this outbreeding they brought on themselves. Their textbooks speak of all thing Eurotard, yet Europeans have done nothing, with few exceptions, compared to the U.S. in actually improving the world (the U.S. has invented nearly 100x more than all Europe combined, despite the U.S. only being a couple hundred years old), and they literally splash water up their ass and think that splashy splashly shit all over the place now is 'cleanererer'.
Good job to OP proving once again how retarded Europeans are.
Fucking lol.

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I always understood that's why underwear was cotton, its very durable and washable. Plus when I shit I spread my ass like a faggot would to get fucked THEN I sit down so its held apart by the seat. I also don't stop shitting until the turd is done, meaning I have two tapered ends on my sixx log. If it breaks off I hnnnmg until I get that tapered end. I'm not sitting there like some autistic faggot with my legs falling asleep wiping the equivalent of Indian clay dirt from my asshole for 2 rolls while I chafe a burn mark into my upper ass crack. I hate people who don't flush until the paper mound of smeared shit paper is touching their ass.
The only logical process is 1. Shit all your shit out; 2 tapered ends. 2. Flush. Look and make sure all your disgusting shit is gone and there are no Nascar skids in the bowl. Its shit; feces, and it has germs and bacteria. Youre not a disgusting faggot, if you spill milk and it gers under the fridge you move the fridge and mop so it doesn't stink and attract vermin right? Clean as you go. Shit smart not hard