I've had noice induced high frequency Tinnitus for more than 20 years with a drilling sound in my head

I've had noice induced high frequency Tinnitus for more than 20 years with a drilling sound in my head.
I often feel like shooting my head off.
Everything is so exhausting and seems so hard to do in life, am I the only one with a shitty life like this?
Can /b relate? How do you cope?
I don't think I will experience silence again in my lifetime, should I just finish myself?

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Poke your ear drums out with a needle

I don't think that would help

My superstitious family would tell me it’s the sound of someone saying something good (if you hear it in your right ear), or bad (left ear) about you.
Volume you hear it at is directly correlated to the strength of the compliment/insult.
First number you think, when matched with a letter in the alphabet, is the first letter of the first name of the person saying the comment.
First person you think of with that letter is who done it
Inb4 I picked a number higher than 26

I have it in both ears, what do?

For temporary relief try that weird hand trick on your ears. I noticed it helped me when it was too much in quiet situations.

When it's quiet i get a swampy night sound almost like how a speaker has that white noise when you're not playing anything yet. The kicker is i unironically liked it since i was a kid.

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it never helps for me unfortunately

Same rules. Someone’s confused about your relationship then son. They’re obviously talking shit and weighing that against your better qualities

Its the televisions. you can walk past a house and tell if they're watching tv or not just by the ringing in your ears.

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but it's a permanent shrilling sound for 20 years

Could be from emf sensitivity.

Sounds like someone can’t shut their jew lips.

Do you sleep next to a cell phone or plug in clock radio? Do you live in a densely populated city? Do you have wifi? Do you live directly under powerlines? Do you have metal fillings or any other metal in your body from surgeries? Are you properly hydrated i.e. drink at least 5 glasses of high quality flouride free water not from a plastic bottle? All this shit effects you. Most people are just used to it but if you have a high toxic overload especially from heavy metals it can create issues.

how can I go out in style?

There were no phones when I got it. It was noice induced I played the drums.

Listen to death metal user. Obviously not at extreme volumes. It will help, if you can eventually appreciate the music. There is no cure to what you have, I hope it helps. Death fucking metal

You are retard

I do, sometimes it helps relieve some anger

Tinnitus lasts forever. Get a white noise generator (or just play white noise through a speaker) whenever you are chilling at home quietly or trying to sleep. Otherwise listen to music at a safe volume to distract from the ringing.

it's so loud it's over almost everything.
Sometimes I just benzo myself out for some relief.

Sweet, I’ve been listening to Spectral Voice, Blood Incantation, Black Curse, Demilich, and some Tomb Mold for relief. I just need to distract myself from my issues, but I may not be as bad as you. Check out these bands anyway if you haven’t yet.

Smoke a bunch of weed, go into a sensory deprivation type environment, and the blood pumping through your veins in your ears will drown it out

it will be 2 years for me this summer. It used to be really bad but now i can kind of live with it. It used to be constant and loud but now i go days without even noticing it. what helped me cope was knowing that tinnitus is not actually very loud by itself. it is only your perception and fear of the noise and everything associated with it that makes it loud and torturing. it should be able to blend in the background for most people. also if you have hearing loss get a hearing aid as soon as possible.

are tremors in the ears the same as tinnitus?

Unfortunately it have never habituated to this. I just can't, it doesn't work for me for whatever reason. Good to hear it got better for you.

How old r u? I’m 41 and been frequenting metal gigs for years with no hearing protection. I only get the ringing after a gig or if I’m drunk and it’s quiet

Never heard of any of those. Will give them a listen. Thx

That’s all it takes to push you to the brink of suicide? You’re a weak faggot, maybe you should kill yourself.

I am 40. Got it when I was about 16.

No worries, I’d say blood incantation is the best in the scene atm, spectral voice and black curse having shared members along with Blood Incantation. Demilich are the OG of sci-fi death, and if you can swallow them check out Ch’thelist.