> be depressed for 4months, finally posted about it on Facebook
>childhood friend message me
>be a little happy to see her
>read message
>"I'm happy you are sad, happy you feel a hint of the pain I have had for the last 14 years after what you helped your uncle do to me"
>remember how I helped my uncle rape 4 of my friends
Should I just an hero?
No, that would be pathetic. Use your remorse to stop stewing in your depression and become a more cheerful and positive person, and devote yourself to making amends to her
How old were you when you "helped" your uncle?
This is important. If you were 14 or under, it could be chalked up to manipulation by your uncle. Any older than that and you probably knew exactly what you were doing and how evil it was.
You would think that would be my first thought, but how?
I was 7 and I bartered with my uncle, he would not be so rough with me if I helped him get more girls. My friends were 7 and 8
Right, your "childhood friend" is a piece of shit trying to blame you for what ultimately was your scumbag uncle abusing his power, you were as much a victim as her. You should not an hero, you should get better friends, preferably people who will help you in tough times.
I was 7 so absolutely manipulated. I know it's not my fault but it still feels like it. And the guilt is crushing
I would suggest making a deal with yourself to stop lingering on shame. Try to just pretend like you're happy. Stay away from anything and especially anyone who makes you feel bad or shamed. It will be real tough at first cos it'll be unfamiliar but your brain will thank you in the long run.
Also don't feel bad. Your uncle sounds like a fucking psycho. I recommend some therapy if you feel up to it. Sounds like he may have contributed to Yr depression
lol didn't see that coming
Logically I agree, but I still dont feel like that is right.
The worst part is I didn't feel shame about it until she reminded me.
Therapy is something I have considered but I'm just afraid to take the first stop.
I guess I kinda made a deal with myself that posting here is a good half step
Come to Yas Forums looking for attention and you'll get told to fucking kill yourself.
Come to Yas Forums in desperate times in real need and you will be surprised by the response.
Depression fucks with your head in a lot of ways, including your sense of direction in life and your moral compass.
Source. 7 years major depressive disorder, my brain is literally fucked and im SSRI dependent.
Then it's certainly not your fault, especially since your uncle raped you too. You were manipulated into doing these things, and that friend is probably just as torn up and raw about it as you are now, hence her hate towards all involved. I know simply telling you this will not help, but it wasnt your fault. If I were you I'd cut contact with everyone that was involved in it and focus on yourself. Dont let what happened to you define who you are, you are better than that, everyone is.
Yeah are you better now or still bad?
Thing is I cut contact like 6 years ago.
This was the first I heard from anyone back there in 6 years
Posting here was a good first step. It's a decent way to help get it off your chest without having to worry about being judged. But you really need to see a professional about this, even if it might get your uncle jailed and reveal it to people that otherwise might not have known. You both deserve and need the closure. Doing nothing about it will just make it worst. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Does it matter how old you were? You did something bad for selfish reasons. I'm not saying I blame you, I'd have done the same; you either need to be able to accept your decisions (even as a child) and find a way to cope with them, or bury them deep.
That's hot. Is there video?
My uncle was arrested and was one of 6 who died in a prison riot a couple years back.
Hey a contrarian!
Yes, hours of it. All in police evidence.
Were you aroused by the sex? are you a femanon or a male?
:/ no, not this thread, this isn't the time
Best thing you can do is offer to testify, and tell her that you were manipulated into it.
The pills im on work for me, was a seriously long road to break from the self loathing, anger, hate, and the feeling of a constant fog of grey clouding everything i do and following me everywhere i go.
Seriously, get help, any that you can, even if its just someone to talk to. The feeling of being nothing more than a sack of hammered shit is just your brain being a dick, you can have the life you dont believe you deserve, and you do not deserve the bad shit that seems to gravitate towards you.
>Hey a contrarian!
Oh my bad, I didn't realise this was a sympathy thread. Good luck getting random strangers to validate you friend. If you felt no shame about it, you wouldn't have even made this thread; learn to cope with the shame.
the uncle died in jail. didn't you read?
I was 6-8 when he abused me, I'm 99,99% sure kids that age can't even feel sexual arousal.
So no I was not aroused, I spent most of it crying.
I'm female
Its Yas Forums, I fully expected it
I suspect the you are lying yourself.
We both already did that several years ago, my uncle died in jail.
I'm going to take your advice under serious consideration.
If you read you see I do feel shame. But even I in my current state see that your advice would just make things worse down the line
OP said You're a contrarian because you are in the minority with your belief that age doesn't matter, I know you still think the world is out to bully you for what you think are your edgy worldviews but you genuinely aren't important enough for everyone to give that much of a shit about you.
>The worst part is I didn't feel shame about it until she reminded me
You should never feel bad for not letting this paralyze your life. It was the past and you can not "if" the past. Tell her to be move on and stop making herself a perpetual victim and you definitely do not harm yourself. If God forbid you did, that would be the real tragedy.
Imagine simping an user
>If you read you see I do feel shame. But even I in my current state see that your advice would just make things worse down the line
Yeah accepting your trauma for what it is, what damaging and unhealthy advice. Go pay a shrink to hear the same thing and think it's some sort of revelation.
Run it back. Have her raped a second time.
Hear me out OP
If you think you have the strength to go through with it, LSD can be a major game changer for depression.
Source: I'm currently depressed, and the help I've sought out generally tells me depression doesn't usually go away but how we cope with it can change how much affect it has on our lives. That's something I never would have went to go hear in a million years before LSD.
It honestly gave me a temporary reset on everything that was bothering me, everything. My whole life I hated who I saw in the mirror, but during my trip I was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. I had to come to terms with most of the evil in my life and accepted that without it, I wouldn't be in the position I am today to do good. A majority of these feelings continue to linger today months after my trip, just with a watered down sensation (because I'm not high, obviously)
I only say if you think you can handle it because with psychoactive drugs there is ALWAYS the chance of a bad trip, but at lower dosages (about 100 micrograms) it's not too hard to pull yourself out of a bad trip that starts to creep up on you.
I'm serious about this OP. LSD honestly changed my world and helped me change the direction of my life. Afterwards I started seeking professional help and talking to people about problems I've kept inside for years. Whatever you decide to do OP, best of luck.
Cheers.
I know thank you.
Wish i had access to it to try :/
Not to be mean but I really wish you lot would stop coming to b of all places with your issues
For your own sake go talk to someone that you can go to for multiple sessions instead of a one time validation chat on here
The advice will help on here at times but it'll never be permanent
Go get real help and get better longterm instead
Yeah but this girl only wants people to feel sympathy for her. She doesn't want help, she wants attention.
Currently near impossible to get because of virus, but if you're interested keep an ear open and just talk to people to find a dealer
Also, location? That can make it a lot harder to score
>gets btfo
>"uuhhh uuuhhnnn you're a simp!"
I wonder what it feels like to be so mentally deficient that your only comeback is "cuck version 2.0"
Just rape her
is ur childhood friend hot?
post pics
>btfo
Making vague conjectures about my morality? Age doesn't matter because it's trauma you dolt. Trauma doesn't fucking care what age you are. Trauma doesn't magically go away because 'oh shit I was 8 therefore it's ok!'. It's not a binary issue. Saying "were you below 14 'cause THEN THE LAW IS ON YOUR SIDE is redundant because it does nothing to alleviate any of the shame associated with the events.
Sorry, I deleted my post because it was answering to the wrong post.
But no, I'm not lying to myself, I did enjoy it and I was around 6.
So anyway, maybe its different when you are penetrated or treated roughly, I don't know.
In any case you were a child, you really didn't have much of a choice and shouldnt be blaming yourself so hard. Relax, you are alive and so are your friends.
I dont feel like its hurting I have filters on nasty shit.
No, I want advice
Guess I can talk to my old weed guy
Naah should be ok, big metro area.
Worst part is that they co-opted a sexy word too..
Kinda did that 15-14 years ago
Shes not looking great now.
That's true
Then stop posting about it on here
It's gonna do nothing but hurt you again
I remember when a simp was one of the best pussies you could get
Good times :'(
whatever nigger, smile because you're not an ugly sack of shit like her