Greentext thread - story time. Anything sexy, incest, funny, cringe or karama welcome

Greentext thread - story time. Anything sexy, incest, funny, cringe or karama welcome

Also, user who started the friend's half sister story, please continue.

Attached: Joanna-Krupa-Nude-Sexy10-.jpg (1425x1800, 278.19K)

>now that’s a perfect vagina

Isn't it tho?

>hang out with female best friend
>she takes a shit in my toilet
>i notice she doesnt flush and go to the toilet
>shit didn’t even drop into the water
>put shit in container and hide
>she looks panicked when I return and says sorry for not flushing
>i act confused and tell her it was already flushed
>she goes home
>i order mcdonalds
>mix some shit with bbq sauce and use it as a dip

Attached: Column.png (3780x9744, 1.96M)

Is the user with the friend's half sister story here?

Column story use to be so good. It's a shame it's considered trash by today's standard :(

What're your favorites?

Bane-Bro is probably my favorite incest story

Attached: 12412.png (1284x4175, 934.6K)

post it?

Attached: autism_.png (685x510, 164.47K)

Hope not. Hope he got banned for starting a thread just to share his sick ass pedo fantasy.

Don't have it on me right now. Sorry mate.

i gave my little sister some of my weed and she got crazy munchies and had three plates of food at dinner. she's on the couch in her underwear about to pop and high out of her mind and she looks adorable as fuck

Attached: z.png (2630x2282, 390.82K)

>I am at my first high school party
>see drinking and drugs and other kids making out IRL for first time
>I am invisible to the girls there>feelsbadman.jpeg
>wander into a unused room looking for someone to talk to
>there are two guys standing around a couch and a third laying on top of a girl
>she is out cold and stripped naked
>one guy tries to push me out but the other says not to
>they ask me if I want a turn with the girl
>she is 9/10 blonde cheerleader type
>I am never going to get pussy this hot any other way as a teen
>climb on and start railing her
>it must be the closest thing to necrophilia
>she feels tight and warm but there is no motion or sound and I can't even tell if she is breathing
>blow my load and GTFO
>never see the girl again I never knew her name
>I see the guys later at another party but we don't speak of what happened beyond "did she go to the cops?"
>No cops and no drama related to her ever again

>No cops and no drama related to her ever again
Congratulations, you're still a piece of shit rapist.

take pic

> be me
> be 19
> get day drunk with a couple frens
> go out to the local lake
> no body is there
> see a few canoes chillin unattended
> getidea.lightbulb
> steal the canoe for a joyride
> get pretty far out and tip over because drunk
> swim to shore and leave the canoe tipped in the middle of the lake and gtfo
> next day on local news, lake is shut down as people search for possible drowning victim

>I am flirting and making progress with an ok looking girl
>go to kitchen to refill and a 10/10 girl that friendzoned me by staggers up
>says she needs help
>she thinks some guy has put something in her drink
>she begs me to stay with her and keep her safe blah blah
>I wrap an arm around her and start dragging her outside
>going out the front door is impossible, too crowded
>go out through back door
>girl is completely limp in my arms by the time we get outside.
>backyard is dark and empty
>No one is around and the garage is closer than my car
>detour to the garage and lay her down on the couch in there
>she is all the way out cold by now
>Always wanted to kiss her so I do
>I have been feeling up her tits as I carried her and now I want to see them
>slip straps off her shoulders and get a good look at her tits
>no bra
>perky c cups with dime sized nips
>they feel spectacular and I can't resist licking them
>peel her dress up to her waist
>tiny black lace thong,
>smooth shaved innie pussy
>hotter than I ever imagined
>can't resist fingering her too
>I can't resist a lot of things and I spread her legs apart and get between her thighs
>lube her up with spit and slide my cock inside her
>pump away slow but getting faster as I go on>blow my load inside her pretty quick
>glad no one saw that
>I just leave her there spread eagle and exposed and sneak back into the house
>no one missed me
>No one saw me leave with her
>days later she tells her friends that some guy drugged her and raped her in the garage
>she doesn't remember me at all
>the friendzone is a stealth field for rape

Very nice stealth dubs.

Damn straight

i'm gonna try. i just checked on her and she looked super uncomfortable. i put my hand on her belly and rubbed it a little and she made this cute cooing sound.

Imagine being so beta you can't do anything with a woman unless she's drugged and passed out. Glad I'm not you, fat boy. Kek.

bump

Attached: ShittBBQdip.jpg (1020x489, 97.95K)

Attached: 1480395040613.jpg (2025x3675, 740.13K)

happened, but nobody on /k/ will believe me

> 2004
> be soldier innastan
> 1 soldier named martinez
> always complaining and wishing for shit
I wish Melanie Chisholm would bring me a 17 ounce ribeye right now
I wish i was at the beach
> non-stop
> one day orders drop for sent to a building
> it has been a fort, a bazar, a government building, a caravansary
> everybody used this building since the british, the russians, everybody
> anyway, clear it. set up the comms on roof
> gonna be a mini-fob
> most of the building bombed out since who knows when
> still a few rooms.
> we're sitting around eating chow
> martinez goes in a room
> ten of us see him.
> finish chow
> not really paying attention
> one dude, Grant sticks his head of the room where martinez went in
Guy's, where's martinez
> shoot, man, aint he in there
> look for him like fuck
> clear room like 6 times
> start crawling around
> find a crack in the floor
gib light
> it prys up
> little room down below
> shine light
> drop in
> tiny desk
> few burned candles and papers
> old like fuck

cont

> papers in english, don't read them lol
> room is tiny
> on table see something under paper
> brass
> it's a bullet
> Private First Class Vivo picks it up
> we always called him that, the entire thing. Private First Class Vivo
> I look a tthe shell. it's way bigger than our m16 bullets with a rim at the bottom
> It feels hot but primer untouched
> no noise from a shot anyway, not like we'd have heard it down in this room
> Private First Class Vivo moves a paper and says
hey look at this
> it's the bullet
> heavy chunk of lead. no jacket or anything
> look closely
> on the bottom of the bullet. Tiny scratches,
> looks like pic related
For the next 3 weeks, SGT major chewed my butt so close that the grass still hasn't grown back, because we never found martinez
these days it seems so weird, but I can't help wondering if he didn't get his wish after all

>gf, me and best mate get back to flat after night out. All mortal especially her, passed out.
>I strip a bit of her and fuck her a little, I'm too drunk. He has a go too but too drunk as well.
> Weeks later we talk about it, agree that we both wanna fuck her together. I question her and it's a no, I spend the next several months badgering her. Nothing happens.
> Friend and I revist the subject about a year later when he was offered and excepted a large quantity of GHB .
> Day and plan was set, she was drugged and worked perfectly.
> He spent most the time perving on her but we learned how long it lasts and how well she's under.
> Two weeks later did the same again and was lots of fun to say the least.
> We do this very rarely now but been going on for a full year now.

>sister always steals my vape
>when I find her she always "play wrestles" with me to try and keep it when I go to take it from her
>she even wrestles with me when she's just lounging around in t-shirt and undies
>some times when wrestling I just directly grab her tits, pussy, or ass
>whenever i do she just giggles and says "omg you're so inappropriate"
>never gone any further than that but I kinda want to

bump

Attached: shed1.png (5280x3424, 1.34M)

Attached: shed2.jpg (1914x3571, 881.11K)

Attached: bld.png (1814x3050, 1.12M)

Attached: bb.png (1020x4907, 689.61K)

Attached: shed3.png (1920x4430, 1.44M)

Attached: 1578445921750.png (2872x2650, 1.92M)

Attached: 7577.jpg (1920x4526, 1.01M)

tl;dr

Attached: didntreadlol.gif (241x199, 208.89K)

> known wife since HS
> known her little sis since she was about 10
> me been married for a few years, sis-in-law married about two years prior
> sis-in-law husband pretty mush an ass
> she meets up and goes out with old friends
> late into the night she texts me for a ride home
> pick up her and friends, drop them off in turn
> get to her place and almost have to carry her in
> she's all clingy and gets gropy
> tells me she and her hubby haven't had sex in months

keep going

Attached: ct.png (1805x2844, 686.13K)

cringe incoming

>be me
>ex-junkie with massive addiction issues
>move back to hometown
>needs job
>friends own bar
>"hey user, wanna set up the bar on weekdays? here's the keys, just show up at 11am, let yourself in, and finish the daily checklist my 4pm"
>ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing.wav
>proceed to become an alcohol very quickly because muh unfettered access to bar
>one day walk home so plastered i barely make it in the door
>proceed to shit in a plastic bag, the kind we normally use for takeout orders, in my bedroom
>pass out
>awake next morning still shitfaced
>so drunk I think my bag of turds are some wings I must have brought home
>proceed to put one in mouth and chew a few times before gagging
>was gagging for a month no matter how much I brushed
>i could barely eat
>fuck my life of degeneracy

> she was sucking me of in a few minutes
> she looked up at one time, dick on her lips and asked if the bj was good or if I wanted more
> told her to strip
> she walked me upstairs to her bedroom and stripped
> she asked me if I'd tied her up like I do to her sister (turns out they share stories)
> with her tied to her and her husband's bed I fucked her, ate her clit, had her suck the cunt juice off my cock
> can't say I ever looked at the clock but her were at it for a while
> we finished up by me cumming deep in her cunt

she told me that her and her asshole husband started fucking not too long after.

she gave birth a few months later.

omg user

Attached: index.png (300x168, 7.39K)

Attached: haley1.png (1064x3773, 409.98K)

Attached: 1579291402146.jpg (366x380, 19.46K)

>lake is shut down as people search for possible drowning victim

hahaah that's great

Attached: 1506322467842 - Copy.jpg (412x394, 30.57K)

>During party, I see Bailey go upstairs with a guy who was on the baseball team but also was one of two quarterbacks on the football team (very cliché, I know)
>Also at the same time, another guy who was on the basketball and football teams.
>This just blows my mind
>I mean, I knew she was kind of a slut, but taking two guys up to her room at the same time was out there for my 14/15 year old brain
>Literally back downstairs in under 10 minutes.
>Bailey walks up to me, asks me if I’m having fun
>She’s leaning up into me (at the time, I was probably 5’10”, she was about 5 inches shorter than me)
>I can smell alcohol on her, but also the distinct smell of cum as she’s talking (it was loud in the house, so she was close to me)
>Asks if I’ve talked to any of the girls at the party
>Tell her no, haven’t really
>She grabs my hand, leads me over to one of the cheer girls, I recognize her, she’s a sophomore
>Bailey introduces me to her, says we should hang out, and gives her a look
>Next thing I know, the girl is just attached at the hip to me
>It’s quite the odd pairing though, as she was at least a foot shorter than me
>She’s tiny, one of the “flyers” on cheer squad
>We talk for a while, walk around and people watch, and she asks me to show her the house
>I am giving her a tour of our house, and when we get to my room, she says she wants to see it
>Takes me in there, closes and locks the door, and leads me over to my bed
>We sit down next to each other, and she leans over and starts kissing me
>Wasn’t my first kiss ever, but it was the first time a girl this cute had kissed me like that
>Especially with tongue
>Make out for probably 15 minutes, and I was turned on, so had gotten hard
>Tried to feel her up while were making out
>She’s a little self conscious of her boobs, and moved my hands away
>Feeling like I was striking out as she broke the kiss and got up off my bed

continuing...

>Feeling lasted all of five seconds, as she moved in front of me, and undid the button on my jeans and unzipped me
>She pulls them down a bit and my underwear too
>One of the greatest things that is permanently recorded in my brain was her eyes going wide when my dick popped out of my underwear
>Followed by her saying, “whoa.”
>That was it, just ‘whoa’.
>Grabs it with one hand, and then put the other above it
>She could have put another above that and still had the head sticking out to suck
>She just sort of held it in her hands and looked at it and then up at me
>So here I am, a freshman, with one of the most popular and cutest girls in school
>She’s kneeling in front of me, two hands holding my dick
>Extends her tongue out, licks the underside a little, and then puts the head of my cock in her mouth
>Starts sucking and moving that in and out of her mouth while basically rotating her hands around the shaft
>Moving them up and down barely, dry
>Wish I could say there was more to that blowjob, but it really wasn’t all that great in hindsight
>It was, however, the first time a girl had ever held my dick, sucked my dick, etc.,
>Also, as mentioned, she was so cute
>So, about 20 seconds into it, I go off like a firehose
>First three or four shots directly into her mouth, hard
>She pulls back in surprise, two shots to the face
>She moves out of the way, still holding my cock
>Next few shot across my room landing on my carpet
>I was a little speechless, as was she
>I quickly mumble out an apology
>She told me it was ok
>We used a t-shirt to clean off her face.
>She apparently was as embarrassed about the situation as I was
>We kept the whole thing to ourselves
>That was the extent of my freshman year hookups.