Let's hear them

Let's hear them

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I sneeze on the counter at White Castle when nobody is watching.

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bump

double bumpo

I once stole my friend's sex tape and replaced it with some random sports championship highlight reel he had nearby. Went home with a few beers and watched it with the boys, no homo. My friend's girl found out the tape was gone when they went for the old in'out while watching themselves fucking on the tele only to find out someone stole their tape. She dumped him on the spot, poor bastard. Not too much later, he developed a mean heroin habit because he couldn't handle the pain. I couldn't tell him not to do it since I am on and off the stuff myself. It didn't take much time at all for him to become a junkie, lose most of his possessions, become sickly, OD and pass out face down in his own vomit. His funeral made me and the boys pretty sad, but we mapped out a retirement plan that kind of involved fucking over some powerful people being it was our whole "one last job" shite. It didn't work out so well, but I ended up being able to ditch the worst of the lot with some extra dough, a nice job, a hot underage girlfriend, and even had enough in reserve to help out my lovable, but potato-like friend. I guess the overall lesson in this is that being a voyeur, especially one that likes to document it, can kill you.

jesus christ

At least three times a day I jerk off to pics of Taylor Swifts feet while listening to her music. I cum in my hand and eat as a sacrifice to my goddess

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stop reposting faggot

Reposting my stories: When I was like 12 or 13 my mother used to go out to sleep at her boyfriends house at night leaving me alone with my littler brother and sister.
I used to do all kind of crazy stuff like masturbate watching my little sister sleep in panties, to give my little brother cough syrup while having a big flashlight in my ass.
I even let my dog fuck my ass a couple of times.
First time with the dog:
> 12yo me with medium size dog ("street breed").
> found an old DVD from my big bro with zoo porn in it (big bro moved to another city before this)
> i get curious and look up for more on internet
> masturbate, but it wasn't enough, so i have the idea of trying with my dog
> the pc room was far from my mom's room where my sibligs sleep
> call the dog to that room at night, like 2 am just to make sure my sibligs were actually sleeping
> give him a handjob to see if he gets hard, which he does
> get in four and guide her dick to my asshole (since at that time i used to put a flashlight in it, it's loose enough not to hurt)
> dog starts humping and getting deeper and deeper
> knot forms, but isn't big enough to hurt me or get stuck inside me
> dog cums inside me and in the floor
> I try a bit, salty and overall gross
> try to assfuck dog, realise that isn't going to happen
> let my dog like my dick while masturbating till i cum
> dog is weird around me for the next couple of days, but instead of trying to hump me, he runs away from me
> next day my mom isn't home i try to give the dog a blowjob, but i don't like the taste
> let the dog fuck me a couple more times after that
Never regret it, but find it gross now. I can greentext a couple more stuff.

wild times

i fukd ur mom

Yeah, those were pretty wild times. I wish I could go back to do crazy stuff and blame it on being a horny teenager.

bump

Faggot

If you say so :D

Faggot

I want to masturbate with my friends.

This is 50% of the plot to trainspotting.

this is more of a funny story of mine because I don't really make it a secret to my friends:
>>Get in good Uni
>>Cute Indian chick who looks like my waifu Connie from Steven Universe is my lab partner
>>Work together well and we become good friends
>> Couple of "dates" and hang outs during our first semester
>> After finishing the lab ask her to date. She says no but is ok
>>Next semester we are even closer we went skating alone,start hanging out in each other apartments and mor
>> 4/20 My birthdays about to ask her if she's changed her mind (normally I would never do that)
>>We're playing some dumb party game and she confesses she is a lesbian
>> Internal WTF but I pretend I already knew to save face
>>Not so bad after all. I could be a chad she wouldn't have like me any way
>>We hang out less
>> Next semester all our friends go to a movie and she tells everyone she's dating a guy now
>> WTF
>> GG turns out it was me after all
>>Hold up that's not all
>> That semester my roomate mathes up with her
>> He immediately tells her if she knows me
>>They don't know each other so homie roommate just called me out as someone who talks about her.
>> I asked her how's the situation with the "Dude" she refuses to call her a BF
>> They were on break but came back recently
>> Well turns out she's like that
>> We're still friends but I got a really funny story with twist and turns to tell now kek

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i want to fuck my first cousin.... for like 8 years...

I now have a kink for Disney women being corrupted into being like Cruella

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bump 99

who the fuck is she supposed to be Kim Possible?
also how the fuck did it started?
Bitch don't say bump tell something and ot respond to some else

that's honestly not that uncommon I've wanted to fuck mine for 7 years now I met her when I was 15

this except i wank to dua lipa and just imagine being her boyfriend.

weirdo

try again in fucking english

Kim's mom. As for the start of the kink, I blame it on having a smoking and heavy makeup fetish.

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When I was 17, I dated a 13 year old girl that was obsessed with me. Fucked her plenty and she was freaky as fuck. We sent a lot of nudes to each other. I love talking about her so I'll answer any questions.

Know this doesn't make you a pedo because you were also a minor, but that's still pretty fucked.

this pic reminds me of that Persian bitch that shot up youtube

Hey dude I'm no English major ok?
If you want I will try to rewrite any part of the story for which I didn't make myself clear.

did you ever ass fuck your sister or brother?

Few years ago I had a 13 yo girl obsessed with me. Always wanted to make her my slave, didn't do anything and forgot about her.
She recently found me on social media and wants to meet, I am a married man no but I know i can't resist this chance.

The duality of man lmao
Also I wouldn't be surprised that in a few years you get me to for it

I first met my cousin when I was 20 and started living alone with her, I want to fuck her so bad, I've managed to steal her nudes from her phone

stealing nudes is hot as fuck. you can do it with a backup extractor too

I have multiple. Least gross first, I love eating powdered cheese (like the ones found in Kraft dinner) and french onion soup powder. Okay now for the nasty fucking shit. I taste my discharge (I'm a female). Like literally every day. I can even taste when I'm ovulating and shit. Also I eat my period blood. I suck it out of my pads and tampons. Like...it just tastes good y'all. Also I sniff my underwear like every day too...the danker the better. Anyways I think that's all.the anonymous confessions I can do for now goodnight faggots

Are you at least conventionally attractive?
Also What's your take on this

I've been told that by every man who's got the balls to talk to me, not to brag or anything lmao. But like it's just one of those discusting things that I think everyone secretly does. Well I don't mean everyone eats their period blood, I mean I think everyone does something utterly discusting in secret lmao. But whatever I dunno

Ok yeah I can see that but I prefer to imagine as cutie pie doing this than just a rando you know?

Women don’t talk like this. This tastes like a heavy larp.

I found out im bisexual like a week ago and i dont know what to do about it

I played with my step sisters pussy while she slept once.

Lost my virginity to a dog when I was a teenager

I don't share my torrents.

Easy just try to follow standards and casually fuck the one who are not standard unless you don't give a shot about society familt and friends oponions

Story

Are you that sibling motherfucker again

Is there something to do about it? Nothing about you has changed... It's like if you found out you actually have blond hair instead of brown... Doesn't change anything

What about the other part

I can varify that I do not have a dick n balls my friend

Haha you like to imagine it?

but i cant tell anybody and now i want to kill myself, its nothing wrong with being gay but its just i cant be bi openly

I have a fake Instagram profile where I try to get nudes of girls I know irl by either trying to buy them from the girl, or trading with a guy with a hot gf. Been successful buying from two girls directly. Also got started trading with a guy I used to go to school with. Got his hot gf, but he offered more if I had more. The next girl he sent was my current gf, he said that she had sent them to him recently.

My take on that post? I mean i don't really care to be honest. I didn't think it was anything out of this world ya know hahahaha I come to Yas Forums for fucked up shit

I understand that you feel like shit or confused or whatever. I just don't understand why you realizing this changes anything for anyone else. Like to the outside world nothing has changed. So why beat yourself up over this?

Oof I'm sorry man.

Ok :(

lmao you play with fire, you get burnt

that's hialrious.

Post your girlfriend

In my quiet moments to myself, I find myself seriously dreading my relationship and coming to the conclusion that I just don’t have the heart for this kind of treatment.

I love him, but he’s so cruel and thinks he does no wrong ever. Every time I try to walk away he makes it very difficult

Don't look back next time. Nobody deserves to be unhappy in a relationship. That's what love is supposed to be.

Leave him and hit me up on snap baby

I fingered my roommate. She asked me to cause her bf is in quarantine

Melania?