So I'll be hanging out with a girl for the first time on Monday...

So I'll be hanging out with a girl for the first time on Monday. Since no restaurants or movie theaters are open we're just going to drive around in her car and chat, and maybe go to her apartment. I'm extremely nervous because I'm a virgin and am extremely socially awkward. What can I do to seem charming and make her want to continue seeing me after the date is over?

Also, maybe I'm just autistic, but I believe she's hinted at wanting to have sex with me. She's said weird shit, such as when I was talking to her on the phone, she said "brb taking a shower." Then I said "wish I was in there with you." She responds "Me too ;)". Another instance I asked her if her roommate would mind if I hung out at her apartment. And she said "She wouldn't care. But if we were going to do it we'd have to make sure she's at work or not there." So judging by these messages, do you guys think she wants to have sex with me? Or do you think she's just teasing me?

Attached: 78634508967.gif (500x500, 410.76K)

Maybe you wont be a virgin anymore.

Made me lol

I can't tell if this is bait, or if you're really this autistic

Watch a movie eat some pizza, try to watch a good horror flick, one that actually doesnt suck. Think of stuff you might wanna ask her. Girls love having their ego stroked, ask her about something relevant for her and just kinda go on with the flow.

Dont be nervous, dont be sticky, let her do the talking.

Not bait man. I'm just really socially inept. 24 and this is my first experience talking to a girl at all really.

Dude, she wants your dick. Stop being faggot, got off Yas Forums, and rail that bitch.

How did you get her to go out with you in the first place?

It's ok. She's prolly as autistic as u are. Like minded ppl attract

>Dont be nervous, dont be sticky
Horrible advice. Op can be as nervous as he wants
>Kys

Only been talking for about a week. What kind of stuff do you think I should ask her?
Met on Tinder. She said I was cute and that she liked how I didn't "immediately ask to fuck like most of the guys on this app." We've been talking for like a week.
She's not autistic. She's an immigrant from eastern europe who's working here in the US. Not going to say what state I'm in, but it's an area of the country that has a massive immigrant population.

Hey, eastern european dude here. Ask her about her country, what was the decisive moment that made her leave everything behind for a better life, what she likes about the US, what she doesn't

Take her to the woods and behead her, then fuck the neck hole.

>She's not autistic.
Whatever u gotta tell yourself....
And I'm not saying her autism is bad. I'm saying like minded ppl attract

Lame. Ask her if it feels better on the clit or g-spot

Yeah ok OP don't listen to this retarded virgin, you ask that stuff when you're starting to get physical

I was just talking with her about that the other day. She left because she said there's more opportunities here. She also said that she "hates the men from her country because they're too aggressive." She's told me that she desperately wants a US citizenship.

Hopefully she doesn't use you just for a green card

The thing she doesn't like about the US is that we don't have socialized health care like the country she was originally from does. She also said she thinks a lot of people in the US are fake. But otherwise she loves the country.

Nah. She told me she doesn't ever want to have kids so there's no way she's not using me for a green card.

Woops. Mean't to say "there's no way she's using me for a green card."

Don't think about getting laid, just get to know her. Try steering the convo towards her interests, don't talk about yourself too much.
Remember that you're also doing this to see if YOU like her.
Don't think about what you're gonna say too much, just fucking say whatever you want, it doesn't really matter.
Just be comfortable, it'll automatically make you appear more confident. Bitches love that.
Be a bit of a dick, but never be mean, never be an asshole.
This is supposed to be a fun thing, so have fun.
If you can also make her smile a few times then you're pretty much golden.

>Don't think about getting laid
She already made it about sex. They should hook up immediately to get the sexual tension out of the way. It will be good for his anxiety

I appreciate the advice but I almost feel like I urgently need to fuck her. I need to get rid of the "incel" label once and for all. If I'm going to take this route of trying to fuck on the first date, How do I initiate sex without coming off as a desperate creep?

Coercion

You must be at least 18 years old to post on this site.

Yes, she has. But he'll be nervous the entire time. He shouldn't even expect sex no matter what she said, just remove the distraction.
Plus, she did mention that the men in her country were "too aggressive".

The "incel" label doesn't peel off when you stick you penis in a vagina. It's completely self-imposed and only comes off when you decide to not think like a one.

Why do you think saying the right magical words will "initiate" sex with a woman? Either she wants to fuck you or she doesn't.
There's no secret pussy portal syntax you can input, I promise you. The advice I wrote above can prevent you getting kicked off the field but you gotta make the homerun yourself.

That's rough and is difficult to swallow honestly. But what you're saying is the truth. The advice is appreciated man. Thank you. I hope it works out for me. I keep reading what you said here over and over again.

You’re over thinking it. Just pull her pants down, and tongue punch her fart box. Then nut deep inside her pussy. Then go MGTOW

Nah fuck MGTOW dude. That shit is dumb and most men can't live single forever. Without women I feel like a worthless sack of human garbage.

Life's rough bro. But it's actually a good thing.
They decide which idiot gets to have his genes passed on, it's like pre-natural-selection.

Imagine the roles reversed; hot chicks constantly wanting to climb on your dick, you're gonna get a bit picky simply because of the volume.

She's a really nice girl so I'm not trying to be mean when I say this: But she isn't that hot lol. She's average and a very ethnic-looking Serb.

>Without women I feel like a worthless sack of human garbage
That's so fucking stupid. Why would you think like this? It's so self-defeating.
Tell me, what woman would ever want to bang someone that only gets his value from banging them?

I'll keep saying this cuz it's one of the few absolutes - If you can't be fine by yourself you don't deserve another.

What are you gonna do when a longtime gf leaves you for some douche?
Never invest so much of yourself in another person cuz they'll shit inside of your heart. You have to be enough for you, having a partner is just the cream on top.

I mean I'm fine by myself. I'm just obsessed with women and I think I would be a better person if I was with a woman.

If you end up fucking that bitch and getting covid you better tell us so we can make fun of you

>hanging out

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

please socialdistance yourself!!!

just "e-hang out",, have an "e-date", and that's that.

Nah. Neither of us have it, we've talked about it. So we're fine.

Yes fuck these morons. Smash this bitch. She wants it

>I believe she's hinted at wanting to have sex with me

sounds like she always had sex on the first date with every guy she met.
go on, mr. Cucko McCuckfag; she'll meet next one on Tuesday and tell him "teehee a virgin faggot did his best to have sex but failed"

Attached: justfartedhaha.jpg (721x720, 100.16K)

I prefer Bosnian chicks but I get you.

If you wanna be gangsta as fuck though say this to her:

"Ti si vrlo lepa žena"
meaning "You are a very beautiful woman" in Serbian.

I'll try to sound out the pronaunciation:
"Ti" - pronounced like the letter "T"

"si" - pronounced like the word "sea"

"vrlo" - a bit tricky, the "vr-" part is pronounced like the "VR" in *VROOOOM*(like you're making engine noises with your mouth),
The "-lo" part is kinda like the "LO" in "LOKI" but with a flat "O".

"lepa" - The "le-" part is kinda like the "LE" in the word "Legend".
The "-pa" part is like the "PA" in the word "Papa" (ie. father/grandfather)

"žena" - the "ŽE" is more like the "Je " in the french "Je m'appelle" (ie. "My name is").
The "-NA" is like saying "nah" (ie. "no").

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Better have a couple hundred dollars on you cuz her "brother" is going to show up at some point and demand it for taking up her time even if you don't fuck her.

real talk: your first time is going to be retarded. You are both going to suck.

One word for you: COMMUNICATE.

Be honest. Tell her "I'm nervous and my dick is probably not going to cooperate, so PLEASE don't base your opinion on this one time. I think if we get used to each other in this new and insane situation, sex will become much easier. Also, I want to know how to please you just right, so TELL me what you like and what you don't like."

You should be fine. You're not a sex god yet so leave your ego on the floor with your discarded clothes.

Relax. Learn. Listen. Don't take sex too seriously. And be willing to eat her pussy. If you get good at that, you can ask her for anything.

and if you don't bring any cash, be prepared to be driven to an ATM, or being held someone til someone comes and pays him double what he asked for in the first place

She sounds sweet cuz she needs to produce. Human trafficking is really and is in every town.

first date i ever went on, I masturbated my penis and came a whole bunch before hand to improve my sexual stamina.
Unfortunately, when the time rolled around I didnt even feel like fucking cause i had coomed so much so basically I just shut it down and tried to offhandedly blame her and her lack of sex appeal. eventually I got her to leave

>I masturbated my penis
as opposed to masturbating what?

there's a specific kind of weedlike herb where if you smoke it you sort of lose all free will and become extremely sensitive to influence.
feed her some of that say its weed and she should smoke ot because it taste good and u got it from trusted grower. and honestly man, at that point dont even nut or anything, just take whatever money she has lying around and get up out of there

u could masturbate ur bum hole, maybe? I did it once with a dry erase marker but I had to half-shit out the lid because it popped off

Shouldn't be socialising ignorant fucks. Hope you both die from the chyna virus

How do I eat her pussy so she'll enjoy it? Is there any specific method or do I just lick it like a fucking dog?

then dodge the Serbian mob til they get tired of chasing you

>Also, maybe I'm just autistic
kek

ass play is probably not technically masturbation

slow kissing around the area, don't just dive in.
Spread her open and reveal her clit. That's where all the same nerves you have in your penis ended up. That's the part you want to lick.

Every woman has a spot they like to focus on. sides, underneath, above. Ask her honestly to tell you what it is she likes and to be direct in telling you how to lick her.

And it's very important to not stop what you're doing if you hear a positive response from her. If she's moaning, don't switch to another spot!

And when she finally does orgasm, don't fucking stop licking until she pushed your face away. Have you ever seen those ruined orgasm handjob videos where the woman lets go and the guy cums all over himself? That's what you're doing to her if you just stop when she starts her orgasm.

You can slow down while she orgasms, but don't fucking stop until she makes you stop. She'll fucking love you for that.

OP here. No, I'm not any of that gay shit. Just want normal sex with normal women.

into*

So basically like 10 minutes of eating pussy in and around the clit?

im half montenegro, so they wouldnt dare because ill throw those little wannabe siberians right off the beach and theyll float down to thessalonia

what is it then? Reverse eating?

why not? u can ask her, "baby, I need youn to do something okay? quickly, but careful. i got an itch inside my rectum and I cant get it myself.

I wouldn't put a time on it.

Unless you know exactly what you're doing and she's been holding off for a week, MAYBE 10 minutes.

You finish licking when she pushes your face away. If your jaw is getting tired, use your fingers or offer to use her vibrator on her clit.

It's not about you and how long you have to do something to her. It's about making her cum, and that could take 10 minutes, 5 minutes or 50 fucking minutes of eating pussy.

> (You)
>im half montenegro, so they wouldnt dare because ill throw those little wannabe siberians right off the beach and theyll float down to thessalonia

but user, he is not you

Well maybe if she becomes my girlfriend we'll try shit like that. But for now I'm just focused on fucking her.

OP, what kind of response do you have to this image? initially disgust? then you look a little more? the slick sheen of fertile semen and lubricating mucus on the shaft as it fires? maybe you like this?

Attached: poleforwardshot1.jpg (768x576, 118.72K)

I know. Especially because my dick isn't anything special. This is why I'm trying to learn how to eat pussy so well.

>
>Well maybe if she becomes my girlfriend we'll try shit like that. But for now I'm just focused on fucking her.

Hope you have a lot of money OP

pro tip: they like a little bit of a thrill... if a guy immediately locks the door when shes in the room with him, HUGE green light.
Keep a knife handy, bowie knife or hunting knife helps. Itch your face, pick your nose and ears normally, but using the knife. HUGE green light
Just a personal one, I always used to rub salt solution on my skin because I would smell like how i thought a sea captain would. HUGE green light

Communicate
Communicate
Communicate

It might be awkward at first (I don't know how young you are) but my girlfriend and I are approaching our 40's and we're happy where we are but it took some effort and a lot of open, honest discussion about what we like, what we don't like, and how specifically to please each other before either of us had an orgasm.

Our first time together neither of us finished. We watched some tv, tried again and I managed to get her to cum. I didn't cum for maybe a month before she succeeded. It felt nice but I was working through some past abuse, and finally relaxed enough.

This last weekend I came in her mouth 7 times, so it gets easier with time.

You both have to keep the long-term in sight if you want GREAT results.

OP do not listen to this retard.

Women like people who are mentally healthy and this bullshit about knives is retarded.

Attached: 1450161987754.jpg (451x765, 31.98K)

Relax dude. She's not going to fucking kill me. How dumb would that be too? My family and the cops could just look at our messages, her Instagram and her Tinder to find her lol.

this

tinder and old messages wont help find them if they are pros

in the long run you probably wouldn't call the police if they just take your money anyway cuz you'll be too embarrassed that you didn't take this warning

OP dont listen to this fat fuckface. i fucked him in his ass hes still upset about it (i bought u lunch too u fat fuckface).

The bottom line is this: if ur going around eating pussy, that makes u a bottom man. A bottom BITCH, actually.
Just feed her a bunch of whisky, at that point she cant tell difference between ur tongue and warm chicken.
These guys like tonguing girls anus but thats where the poop is. Just make them forget where they are, it's easy. Push past them repeatedly like ur in a supermarket to bewilder them, then console them when they break down and need support. Then u can stick ur dick between her thighs (or in vagina if u want to make pregnant)