Hey, fellow non-coofers! This quarantine thing sure is silly huh? *Coofs.*

Hey, fellow non-coofers! This quarantine thing sure is silly huh? *Coofs.*

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yeah, let's all go on vacation *wheezes* and go to crowded bars and theatres. *COOOOF COOOOFFF COOOOOOOFGHHHFFGHH*

i can't imagine why anyone would ever stay away from us!

I-It's not too late for me is it?

AAAAAA

get in my poz hole and blast me with your muck

wtf is everybody worried about? we're fine.

>licks

Infect me mommy

Let's just have a beer and take er easy

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coof it's all just a hoax

wdym, we're fine

test

can someone coof on me pl0x?

mwah

It's an empty bun, pay no heed. We're all fine and not infected here.

I'll test your ass

That's sounds like -- *coofs* -- like a splendid idea.

Dumb and fearful people. *Coofs.*

On it. *COOFS*

I feel abs -- *coofs* -- absolutely fine.

I don't know about you niggas, but I feel fucking fantastic

*Coooooooooof*

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*COOF* quarantine is dumb *COOF*lemme tell you about the flu

Yeah im sure this'll all blow over *explodes into pus and coof*

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i know, there's no possible reason to distance themselves from us

coof

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HELLO! *COOFS*

You'll die soon OP.

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Greetings, fellow fine person!

*Coofs.* I'll be okay. *Coofs blood and cum.*

Y'all coofin' in heayh?

fags

no. we're fine. everything is fine. you're fine.

Not feeling all that great since spring break guys..

>AL U COOFERS ARE DEAD!
Was this The Joker's real name?

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OH FUCK OH FUCK

Test

no reason to panic. you're okay.

PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP I DONT WANNA DIE

Imagine contracting the coronavirus

I uuhuhh I aah I'M mm gh ghhgo I'M GONNA COOF

Right? Haha, only virgins catch that shit

you're not

RIP in piece

It's ok user, here, hold my hand.

Calm down, it's just a fucking flu!

Nothing to worry about

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*coofs*

D-drain it all out user

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Hulk coof

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it sure is!
*coof*

y-yeah i d*COOF*on't know why people are panicking

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*CoOfs.* What does that mean?

>tfw papa nurgle finally releases me from this living hell

OH DEAR FUCKING JESUS I'D BETTER NOT BE INFECTED

OH THANK GOD

You're not, this is a coof free zone.

OP here. People are ju -- *COOFS* -- just feeding into the fear mongering. We'll all be fine. *Coof.*

roll

u not

>spit on doorknobs
>lick cellphones
Heh, nothing personal

Quick, before it’s too late, buy my cure

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GIB ME THE GREEBS XDDDD

Back off, coofers! I'm healthy as an ox!

Just wait

Coof

I shall only reply to green coofers

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Coof coof hey guys how are ya

not anymore
* C O O O O F *

Kek. *Coofs.*

No, don't touch me! I'm not replying to any posts directly to avoid infection

It's just the flu bro

*Coofs.* I am too.

Oh don't worry dear user, you'll be safe.

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not [spoiler]yet[/spoiler]

Is that how it works?

COOF COOF

*Sneezes.* *Coofs.* I won't touch you.

Wow man you're so green, you must smoke a ton of weed

Here, let me wipe that away for you

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*coof* pretty good, just waiting out this flu

I think my isolation tactics are working
This is just a nothing burger, right?

coof coof coof

*breaches your anus with my erect unprotected penis*

please

rer

im not sick, this is nothing. just allergies

I've gotta get outta here, before it's too late

*Sniffles*

I feel fine

Either you type something into options or it randomly chooses you

you all stay the fuck away from me

nose feels confested a little, and I'm scared to cough aloud

NO RECALL OR INTERVENTION CAN WORK IN THIS PLACE

you guys ok?

quads to the power of 4 of truth

Just allergies bro

No, Dagoth Ur! I don't want to be a coofer!

*brrraaaaaaapp*

bit of a sore throat. think it's just flu

*Coofs.*

im immune to the virus so nice try. im working on producing a cure to save everyone using my special immune blood

I've cracked the code to immunity, you'll never infect me with your coofs

This is all r/Yas Forums can come up with for an April fools joke?

yeah, nothing to worry about user

Cum is the cure. *Coofs cum.*

do you have enough toilet paper?

cough

Yes, please work on a cure, so that more people can be immune like us!

Damn man you need a cough drop?

consume my body

you sure said it op!

here, have some of mine
>coof

I'm out of toilet paper now I just run my hand under the faucet and wipe my ads