Any anons ever been to jail/prison? If so, please share your stories through greentext preferably

>imagine a gay sex party vacation

You got a few of the words wrong.

>imagine a gay rape torture dungeon

a slave catcher in blue caged me for geo group who sold me to Motorola where I assembled Moto Gs for zero dollars an hour shackled to my workstation for two years.
it’s pure slavery. no rehabilitation whatsoever.

They're all innocent. Dey all didn't do nuffin'. Its all systematic oppreshion

same thing

talk to a felon chump

I worked in a level 4 prison briefly. Got the fuck out of that job as soon as I could.

NOT the same fucking thing.

A gay sex party vacation is going on a gay cruise and having a great time with as many dicks as you can get your hands and holes on.

A gay rape torture dungeon involves involuntary violent penetration with no hint of fun to be found.

Learn the fucking difference, retard.

Gay for the stay

I've talk to many of them. They all say the same thing. They're all innocent and are going to win their retrial someday. They're going to counter sue and win it big. You just wait.

>counter sue
if they could afford lawyers they wouldn’t be in prison in the first place

I was doing a few jail weekends for a DWI a few months ago, which due to the short stays I was in the lockdown wing. We were only allowed to leave our cells to shower and not all at once, so to pass the time most of these dindu nuffin niggers would rap in their cells loud enough for everyone to here.

During dinner of the first stay there some guys claimed they didn't receive any cake and were trying to get more. Since meals were slid through the door I couldn't verify if it were true. In retaliation to this a few of them jammed towels into their toilets and kept flushing until it overflowed to the point of not only flooding their cells but out into the common area. Worth pointing out this was from the second story.

>I robbed a post office with a sawn-off shotgun when I was 16 and I got 12 years for it, I did 7 and was released.
>6 months later I was arrested for robbing a post office with a sawn-off shotgun and after 7 months on remand, I got to walk from court because the prosecution couldn't use my previous conviction against me.
>Three years later I beat a man into a coma and got 5 years for GBH with intent.
>I have moved to another country and no-one including my wife and kids knows about my criminal record.
>I got out 8 years ago in May.
>I have committed many other crimes over the years and have done so in the last 8.
>The police here are laughable, it's like the fucking keystone cops, at least the coppers in old Blighty put in some effort..

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Where did you do your time?

Bedford and Strangeways for the 7.
Barlinnie for the 5.
The Bar-L is a fucking crazy place.

Strangeways next to the brewery, where they make bodingtons

>Any anons ever been to jail/prison?
If you call mom's basement "jail/prision", yes.
Now chill and read virgin's lies

60 days in makes jail look bad

I’m a corrections officer at a maximum security state prison, AMA

Yes I've been to jail luckily I'm English so no chance of getting gang raped by Mexicans, dark skinned chaps or anyone else where I was. Got to say it was still fucking horrible full of men getting off their tits on smak and tranquillisers so the time goes quicker. Kept away from that shit padded up with a lad I knew from my area. He knew I wouldn't take no shit and I knew he wouldn't either. That was the best thing about it. Me and him are still good mates now. If anyone had any grief for either of us which didn't really happen, they had 2 of us to deal with not one. Doesn't sound much but made a massive difference. Honestly though it was fucking vile and I've not come close to going back and hopefully never will again. There's nothing good big or clever by losing your freedom.

Why are you a cunt?

Kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch.

imgur.com/FXFSpim

They don't open the fucking windows so I wouldn't know.

Here in Britain that isn't necessary because unlike America were not all poofs.

It’s scary asf, nothing like juvenile hall, nothing like movies, it’s like the poor mans hollywood - everyone is looking for an ego boost/respect and how they get that is by shitting on people below them. Shit = Violence in this situation. 10/10 would not recommend.

24 hours for punching my dad in the face
I was still drunk through most of it and just slept.

I was in jail, my cell mate was this guy named Andy, he forced a log of shit down my throte

Based

>Drunk driving
>Saturday night
>Spent Sunday in a cell block watching football, playing dominos reading magazines
>Saw judge Monday
>Released on bail
>2 years probation, classes, drug tests, 24 hours community service

They will act like animals even without the cameras

It's a fact mate I fucking hated it Holme house in the North East, fucking Durham is worse luckily I wasn't there

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All that for drunk driving? Holy shit, fuck your country.

You lucky bastard

Did 2 weeks. Minor vandalism charge. It could have been settled with a fine, but I poorfagged into prison. Dutch prison btw. And in the tamest block imaginable. So it was unironically easy. It pretty much felt like school, just with big ass kids. So no juicy stories here. Just played table tennis, smoked ciggies with some guys while watching TV, did some puzzles, played cards, stuff like that. There were no fights, no drama, the general atmosphere was ok enough. The worst thing about these two weeks was the food really. Bland mushy shit that gave me tons of gas. So all and all I quite literally just farted my way through it.

Why are you pretending to be Bronson you massive fag
Also
Some of my mates have been in barlinnie it dosent sound that bad to be honest (compared to jails elsewhere in the world)

>went to jail for 90 days (slightly less because of work)
>not in a cell. A pod with about 70 others
>my bunkie was a big ass black dude, call him T
>he was cool though, showed me the ropes a bit. Was my first friend
>anyway they bring a newspaper early every morning and T always liked to read it along with a small group of other people, myself included
>he liked follow local high school sports. I did the crosswords and shit and basically read it front to back
>you’re supposed to leave the paper on the tables when you’re done so others can read it
>anyway T slept in one morning and someone took the paper back to their bunk before he got a chance to read it
>he was FUCKING PISSED. So were a lot of other people
>he started yelling “WHO THE FUCK GOT THE PAPER WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PAPER” waking everyone up
>he’s roaming around the pod lookin for the paper
>someone says
>shut the fuck up about the paper god damn
>this guy said this while he was laying down under his blankets in his bunk. Not able to fight well in that position
>never seen a big dude move that fast
>T runs over and punches this dude about 5 times in the fuckin head and throws him out of his bunk
>continues lookin for paper
>turns out some like 70 year old half deaf man had it, someone else found it
>paper returned to tables
>everything goes back to normal
>during count guards pause in front of beat up guy. He says nothing
>guards say nothing even though the guys face is all bruised up and has a black eye

Now that's what I call a mad lad. How did you get to be so fucking degenerate?

Fag

Yah, instead they should wll all be gassed to rid the scum.

I’ve done years for assault and robbery, state prison and seen it all

Are you a nigger?

I did 3 years for scamming people with sweepstakes, could've been worse.
I enrolled in classes, and eventually became a teacher in some, so I was cool with almost everyone. The only people I wasn't cool with were younger new pseudo gangsters, but they were the first to get fucked, so if the had a beef with me, I had others inmates stood up for me.
I had enough time to read, read about a book per week, so I came with a whole bunch of new interests and many different views in life.

No. but all you pussy white boys on here would be someone’s bitch. Talk tough on a computer but can’t fight for shit and sit down when you pee haha. fucking faggot nerds make me laugh. go play video games pussy

I went to jail for 3 months in USA for Vandalism, Trespassing..

>Get caught and arrested ( Can explain if you guys are interested )
>Demand a lawyer and after that I performed my right to remain silent
>Get a lawyer and discuss my situation with him
>He's useless a suit that was wide and too big for him with some shitty suitcase, didn't even have his own pen and paper..
>He says I should confess and plead guilty to my charges and I'll be fine
>Decide to do the opposite if needed
>Spend 52 hours in a cell meaning I am suspect of a serious crime
>Get my hearing done and am charged with a few things
>Vandalism, Trespassing and some breaking enter and other shits
>Get 3 months
>fuuck

>arrive at prison
>Go through the entire process and suddenly I'm with the others in a cell block
>I'm not afraid but nervous, in a country that isn't my own outside of Europe in a jail felt really shitty
>Have no clue what to expect from any of these guys and it doesn't look like I'm with the other ''light'' criminals who are here for a short while
>Sit at one of the tables and get approached by a group of guys
>Pretty regular shit happens, they ask me what my name is what I'm in for
>Explain it all because I see no harm in it and they seem to appreciate my openness
>They really are hung on the fact I'm from Europe and keep asking me questions about my home country (Netherlands)
>Get some basics rules from the block, don't mix and shit and don't act though or shit on by them
>Tell them I wanna do my three months and gtfo so I won't cause them trouble or anything

>My 3 months go by pretty quick
>Had one fight in my second month, he punched me I punched him then we were cool
>Spent my time doing Graffiti sketches for people and drawing because they needed an artist for their prison tattoo's
>not much happened

>Be released, fly the fuck back and reunite with everyone and continue life as normal

You talk shit like a Mexican delinquent, dumb ass posturing like they're always trying to bluff their way to tough.

lol no, whites join the white gang and little black boys stay away in fear. the black gang is at the goddamn bottom below the whites and mexicans who have a legit drug rivalry and no time for nigger shit unless you can actually pay for something for once.

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Sure I volunteer to be someone's cumdump

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Cool story
What is your day to day occupation?
You sound like somebody whose parents are glad he's home but also if he's on the other side of the world

nice trips. 777 too.

>delinquent
your soft ass would get killed in two seconds i don’t take pussies like you seriously. keep talking tough behind a computer like i said i’d make you my bitch fag boy but that’s probably what you want little soft bologna boy cuck

there’s some coo white boys and skins in the pen but mexicans run everything first off. whites at war a lot too over drugs but bloods and crips don’t play either so don’t speak on what you don’t know because this isn’t the movies kid. none of you could survive what i’ve seen and what i’ve done

I am a painter, and sell art on the side too.

haha, probably.. They always say I am mixed with the wrong crowd but that just shows they don't really know me. I have a good relationship with them so it's all fine by me.

>but mexicans run everything first off.
IN the entire United States, or just your state in particular?