How can I kill myself. I'm not asking for methods because God knows I know just about every way to do it...

Everyone thinks they’re fucking cicada

You'll never be not puss. When it comes down to it, you just don't wanna die as bad as you think. You don't really wanna hurt yourself. Try harder to come to terms with that than trying to make urself wanna die more. If you really wanted to kys, you woulda done it by now.

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really, are those arseholes still around?!

Try actually applying yourself 100% and being vulnerable. If you fail, the weight of your shame will drive you to your peaceful end. But maybe you won’t and you’ll get the fuck over it.

It gets better OP. It gets better.

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live stream your death

That actually makes sense

Spent 15 years waiting for it to get better, when's it supposed to happen

Nothing to live stream with

piss the 427 revolution group off and get them to do your dirty work, another threat right now has this:

i read earlier today that the mob behind those youtube videos murdered some dude in New Jersey because he breached their you tube site or something, apparently it was reported in some newspaper in NJ

Don't hesitate or think twice, never try testing if it works because you'll end up never doing it like me. Peace awaits brother, you just have to not think too hard about it.

>How can I kill myself
Drive to what used to be Cabrini Green in Chicago and get out of your car and yell "Fuck You Niggers". You'll be dead in 5 minutes.

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you're fucking sick - nothing is worth kills yourself over - NOTHING! Look how people live in third world countries - yet they still have a smile, the people with the least always give the most, there is a whole world out there for you to discover. If you are unhappy with this life - change it - fly to Indonesia and work at a bar, got to trecking in Nepal. You only live once - stop being a faggot and get out there - it is what you make it

If you want it o kill yourself don’t physically do it butt kill every part of yourself that you don’t like and don’t want to live, become a new person

Lol killing yourself is fucking gay. Don't do that

Like I said in my post, I need courage not method

I don't need to test I've studied suicide a lot and know plenty of reliable methods

>people who are worse off are happy so you shouldn't be
You don't know my life
>people with the least always give the most
Hah then I must be a fucking geyser of generosity with as little as I have. Everything I own can fit in one box roughly half the size of a person. I can take literally ever bit of money to my name and convert it all to pennies and put it in a small jar.

>kill every part of yourself that you don’t like
I don't like my deformed body, it is one of the reasons I want to kill myself. So I should take your advice and kill my body then.

I'm literally gay so that makes sense

Shoot up a synagogue first

The easiest way to do it is with a gun. It's so much easier when you have a firearm to your head, as once the trigger is pulled, there is no way back.

you know that everything sucks, dont you?
listen. its not about working yourself up to do it, its about doing it before you can even begin to consider doubting it.

if you have a gun, dont think. just pull the trigger.

pills, dont even think about throwing them up, you eat the entire bottle.

knife? dont let the blade sit on your wrist, just slash and slash and slash.

See I don't have any live streaming equipment and also...

I have almost no access to guns. Beat chance would be stealing one from a family member but the only one with some I could use I don't want to blame himself. The rest of my family own assault rifles are hunting rifles.

>gun
See above
>pills
Nope I know enough that that shit is a gamble
>wrists
If I go with the knife I'm stabbing myself in the fucking throat.
The advice is solid though.

There's a part of your mind that still hopes things will get better, whatever your situation, You should listen to it and make an effort to escape and have a happier life, It may not seem like it now, but it's worth it. Mind talking about your situation?

I'm a fucking 5 foot dwarf with no friends living like trash thinking about this question everyday, the courage never comes, there's no way out i asure you

Also I spent some time in a psych ward with this girl who survived shooting herself in the head. Was not pretty.

my point isnt that you should kill yourself like that, my point is that you need to do it without thinking.

you want to die, right?

do it. the only thing stopping you is yourself.

I've made the effort. Went to jobcorps and got an education, job training (and advanced job training), and a little bit of free money, still wound up penniless sleeping in my grandmother's living room for years. Turns out training doesn't count for shit when your a deformed cripple. Last year was my 25th and I promised myself if I couldn't get an income by 25 I'd end it (been trying to get even just ssi for a few years now). 2 weeks before my birthday I left the house figuring I'd either die homeless or find some way to improve my life. Wound up in a psych ward a few times over a couple months and in and out of a homeless shelter. In the end I wound up right back where I started. Grandma's couch. And here I am now.

I know. Like I said the advice is solid. My mind constantly running 100mph is one of the things I hate the most. I can't not think about it. Lately my thoughts have turned to poison (my family keeps a supply of rat poison in the hallway) so there'd be a point of no return, test I could still just think afterwards. Plus they're scented and possibly flavored so that would make it easier.

Shit OP..

You are already such a failure that you want to kill yourself, and then you even manage to fail at that

can you solve this or not - stop pissing about!!

youtube.com/watch?v=Y1UlD0rhtlQ

Ikr I should probably just an hero

So should you. Not giving your vid the clicks your fishing for

I'm in a similar situation to you, without the cripple bit, I have no career and spent most of my earlier life hoping I'd die before it got to the point I needed one, I'm trying to find a menial job, to eventually do what I want, which has to do with art, it's what makes me happy. Now I ask you, what do you want, as impossible as it may seem in your head, what would make you happy?

if you have nothing to live for, why add selfishness to your list of problems

"The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday

coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being/home/welcome

nothing worse than a whingy cunt

Might I suggest reading the best seller "Wish It, Want it, Do It" by Brian H Griffin. It changed my life!!

Cooking. It's what I went to jobcorps for. I'm literally certified to manage a small restaurant but I can't even get a job flipping burgers because I'm basically fat Freddy Krueger. I love making unique things and seeing people enjoy them, but I can't even do that as a hobby because of my.living situation.

Wow, that sucks, I know people can be shallow, but I still urge you not to give up, there has to be a other path, perhaps join an agency, that's what I did, I had an interview assignment but it was cancelled because of Covid, so it's just bad timing for me. But, try the app "indeed", it's where I found them. Take this quarantine fiasco as a reprieve and gather your thoughts. Mind if I ask about your family? I mean your grandma seems at least partly supportive.

You are seeking an external solution, someone to give the perfect answer to break you from the mental state youre in, the truth is only YOU know what you need to tell yourself and you probably have but its too faint for you to hear it

Start with this short book
"The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday

Naah she barely tolerates me. She just has strong "family" ideologies (good thing too. I'm bi and found out a couple months ago she hates gays, if I weren't family she'd drop me at the nearest corner). This family thing is why I love with literally a dozen people, all family, in a small 3 bedroom house on a mountain. They're honestly some.of the worst people I've ever met, and are a major contributing factor in my declining mental health.

Can't afford a book

Pirate the book

Listen to some music loud enough to block out thoughts and start doing a suicide dance. Mime various suicidal gestures so it becomes part of the dance. Dance in the dark too. Keep pulling the trigger on your imaginary gun and tying the noose and putting your neck through it and kicking the chair away and slitting your wrist and jumping off the building and in front of the train. Program yourself to do it like a fun dance.

Damn, that does make it harder for you. Being gay is also what made me want to die before, and even if that part of my life is not resolved, and I'm basically in the same situation I was years ago, a shift in my mind made a world of difference and I'm optimistic, because there are things that I now know, and want, that years ago I wouldn't even consider possible. The gay and bi community can be very supportive, so there are people out there that you haven't met, that will love you for who you are, and allies are everywhere. Yes, you have the odds stacked against you, some of us are much less fortunate than others, but we can find a way to thrive. I truly hope the best for you.

If you truly want to experience death, smoke some DMT. It is better to experience death without cutting the thread that ties you to this dimension.

You get to satisfy that morbid curiosity of what lies Beyond, and you don't even have to die.

Everybody wins.

If you still wanna die after smoking DMT, fucken go for it. You won't tho.

Also if you've never done acid or shrooms I would recommend preparing yourself by mastering those substances first.

Thanks man. Well its 3 in the morning so I should try to get some sleep. Thanks for talking with.

Hah.I could imagine the looks on my family's faces if the saw that. I live with 11 other people privacy is precious here.

There is no such thing as gay or straight. Everybody is a wee bit bi.

However. People shape their behavior depending on what is useful and what is not useful.

Got any woods nearby? Also, what do you think their reactions really would be? They record you and put it on YouTube? Maybe just walk while mentally rehearsing, without the bodily gesture.

Np user, lowkey wish we were friends haha, have a goodnight :)

Haha I have read that it's a spectrum, I'm curious about the "useful" bit, can you elaborate?

Any music that's inspired by this experience?

i.e. you are in a social environment where faggotry is laughable and you might even get punched, you ain't doing shit with a dude for risk of becoming an outcast. You'll still occasionally notice Damn Bro Is Hot.

You'll have values of what you wanna do with your life. Kids and whatnot. Being beloved at church. Things that steer you straight.

Just because you go to a party at a bar and kiss a dude because he complimented you and is mega hotter than you, does not make you gay.

It is only in backwards social groups especially work situations where being gay is treated like winning a medal of honor where you see unabashed faggotry run amok.

Identifying with the faggotry you enjoy time to time is.... Silly low IQ thoughts.

Tons.

Fix You by Coldplay

You're Somebody Else by Flora Cash

Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists

Breathin by Ariana Grande

The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness by The National

Found What I've Been Looking For by Tom Grennan

I Know How To Speak by Manchester Orchestra

Don't Need It by Seratones

Circle by Soul Coughing

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

Turtles All The Way Down by Sturgill Simpson

Kamikaze by Walk The Moon

False Confidence by Noah Kahan

Superposition by Young The Giant

....yes I already had this list

Mm, I think I'd have to disagree with you on a few points, I mean, I've been in situations (originally from a 3rd world country) where being gay was really one of the worst things a person could be, but still, there were some flaming gays about, and thinking about it, they were extremely brave, as they were ridiculed and shunned. I'm sure back then for them, as for myself being a child and telling myself not to let anyone know, it was deeper and the least convenient thing.

i dunno man, i mean if you keep pussying out it sounds like you are having second thoughts, which probably means you shouldn't go through with it. You definitely shouldn't do it man

Gotta agree. Life is for shit, and everyone hates you, so piss ‘em off by living.

Some people have been damaged by sexual or mental abuse at a young age which turns them gay as shit

Dont

As controversial as this subject is, I can't really argue against it, as I was sexually abused when I was very young so you got me there lol, but I just can't imagine it's the same for everyone.

Literally every flamer I know has, eventually, gotten drunk broken down and told me about how their mom/dad/uncle/grandparents used to diddle them.