I genuinely want to know how b/ is feeling tonight

i do lsd every other week but this is my first time taking these new gel tabs i got. i bought 50 tabs and a quarter oz of shrooms for the quarantine.

the trip was intense for the first few hours, then i tried to watch tv but the faces were all melty and i couldnt focus on the storyline. so i just played AC all day.

vegas would have been fun, i was gonna drop lsd and fuck my ex. Im still going to vegas for unrelated reasons this week so maybe ill see her then.

Life is going good and I feel overwhelmingly bad about it.

A month ago, I jumped ship from a job with a horrible fucking boss. (I work in IT). Was a small business greedy shithead but worked with some great people. An ex-co worker (my mentor) offered me a job at this new company which is a huge corporate client. I work from home, benefits are fucking killer for the US (Full coverage on everything, paid time off..etc.) it's work from home natively as is so the lockdown hasn't affected my finances nearly at all.

I see my old co-workers all laid off, the company is closing down. One of them had a kid on the way. It's like some sick version of survivors guilt.

benzoyl peroxide / clindamycin.

don't have severe acne by any means, but persistent noticable acne at age 21.
>pic related

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It's good you have friends who care that much. I have friends that talked shit about me and still send me bullshit like this every couple months like

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nah man, you do you. we all do what we have to do in life. capitalism is rough, the pandemic shows just how closer we are to being poor than to being wealthy

My best friend ditched me to go hang out with other people and It really made me realize how I would put him before anyone else but I'm really just a second choice which kind of hurt.

I have worked at the same job for nearly 12 years. it's /comfy/, at least for a job, because I am king of IT and king of my department. Now the company is being sold. At first it was being sold to an asshole, who was going to fire half the company including me, and I got myself totally geared up to leave. Going to go home, set up shop, start my own biz. Now the place is being sold to a couple of decent guys who kind of already do what we do. Now they plan to move their shit in with our shit, and that will make me not king of the things I am king of, and have to work with people. not bad people, just people who will be in my space. So, back to striking out on my own. Meanwhile, I have been sick for 2+ weeks,, and my wife has whatever I have. I'm too old to get all freaked out and upset, life is too short for that. Still... I have jews to pay, so I need decent income. Really I just want to stay home and tinker with cool stuff, write code, maybe make some videos about it, and get paid for it. Can I make that work? Definitely going to try. I am thankful I have a wife that is supportive and has a decent income. Not enough to carry all the bills, but enough that we wont be instantly destitute. Also thankful that I have friends and coworkers and customers who are totally supportive and say nice things about my talents etc.

Hit that introspection and try to understand why you keep having this behavior.

at least you'll get the free gibs pretty soon

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Pretty good. Shit depression as always but I have set up a good situation for myself so it's cool. This virus shit doesn't bother me at all.

Friends are meh.

Everyone looses elementary school friends when they start highschool.

Everyone looses high school friends in there 20's

Everyone looses all friends when they or you get married.

All marriages turn into staying together too raise the kids or pay the house after 2 years.

All relationships suck. Don't give too much too friends or anyone.

You are born alone and die alone. Other people arnt special.

Also, g fur.

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Every things gone to shit thanks to Corona-Chan haven't left my house in 2 weeks. Epic

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revolt. The USA desperately needs a workers revolution.

You watch TV and play games while tripping...? Not to sound obtuse user but that's a serious waste of potential :( You can learn a lot about the world from denying your senses on psychedelics. Sitting quietly in a forest on shrooms, losing yourself in an artform on LSD, creating pictures, creating music

even things like taking a bath give you more than common entertainment. To me, user, common entertainment is what you do when you're bored, and Psychedelics are far from boring

combining the two seems counterproductive

Are you me? No joke been going through that as well. Problem is that I'm still too attached to the one who hurts me the most. I guess it'll fix itself in a few weeks when she moves to another state far away but I feel like I can't win. If she stays I'll be a useless fucking simp for her but if she leaves I lose my closest friend. That and so many more things are weighing on me rn and it's so overwhelming.

Fivehead

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agian, i do lsd twice a month, for a very long time. ive had just about every experience you can have except ego death, that doesnt seem to ever happen for me.

i wanted a melty relaxing day with music and my favorite game. so thats what i did and it was fun

when i take it again two wednesdays from now im going to be camping hopefully, as long as the place doesnt close down

Taking naps.
Eating normal.
Walk around the house/block.
Farts are a bit smellier than usual.
You know, normal stuff.

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What is your malfunction?

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that's the plan user. I ordered a book that he recommended, and read a few articles today that got me interested in a new approach
c-cute
but user, not everyone wants that path. I recognize that path, I've seen it, I feel it happening, it has happened just as you described, with MANY of my friends. You're painfully correct - however

You don't have to take that path. I'm not going to, because for all the reasons you explained, I hate that path. Communities only die if everyone let's them. Communities only grow if everyone wants them to

You and me both just need to find people who don't want to end up in the cycle you described. They are out there. I know a few, but it's only a few.

You need to let go user. As my friend described to me "you already lost them a long time ago, and you know that. let go."

I had a friend, a lover, for over 11 years. We met online, he's lived with me for a few months each year, we shared so many memories and amazing times - but it doesn't change who he has decided to become, and who he has become no longer works for my life. He hurts me. He says cruel things. He puts me down.

Why the fuck would I want to be friends with someone like this, regardless of what we "used to be"

what matters is who they are now. So user, who is she now? Is she really good for you, or are you afraid to lose What Once Was?

I blocked him on everything I possibly could today. I am pained, I am saddened, but I can smile knowing that the huge crater that he is leaving behind in my life can now be filled with people and things that align with me. People and things that treat me well, and with respect. If you hold on, you can never free up that space for better things.. and man is he taking up a lot of space.
If you've never had an ego death then you're not doing Psychedelics like the pioneers did xD Allan Watts, Timothy Leary, Richard Alpert, Terrance McKenna... Dose up, get silent, and dive within - deeper

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you think its just a dosage thing? the highest dose ive done was 330ug and i typically take 200-300ug per trip. i mean i guess i could take a 5 strip sometime but that seems like a lot lol.

im already like melting face at 300ug anything more seems like overkill. I would like to experience ego death sometime

Thank the chinensis for that.

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fuckin love Joji
Nothing to do with dosage user - everything to do with your being. I never do above 100-125ug. Very rarely do I take more than that

my ideal trip is laying naked in my room in darkness, just letting it all happen. Sometimes I create music or journal/draw. Be with yourself user, and nothing else. Games and movies and parties can definitely be fun with Psychedelics, but the real power comes from yourself, and the only way to reach that power is by only giving you... you? If you've never meditated in a forest on 5g of Psilocybin you're missing out

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Holy fuck, nice feet !!

Doing great. Work in online marketing so work form home has been an easy transition - we're actually having some of our best weeks right now.

Family is safe and healthy.

Working with the local tech community to build a support system of tech/marketing to help struggling small business pro-bono while we try and get through cvoid.

Life good, feeling grateful

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i mean ive tripped in the woods or camping many times. but always with people. i dont think i can just still like that. maybe someday, but this camping trip coming up im just looking to party

thx for the advice tho

nice feet

>Dose up, get silent, and dive within - deeper

was looking for an interesting thread. this caught my eye. you know your stuff, and I know you. You know me.

I have introduced several people to mushrooms. to get "The" experience they really have to want it. If they don't really want it deep in their heart it won't happen. It has to be a deep desire to know the truth no matter if they like it or not. That has been my experience anyway.

>Allan Watts, Timothy Leary, Richard Alpert, Terrance McKenna

I'd like to add
Paul Stamets
Bill Hicks
Depak Chopra
YourMateTom (youtube)
PsychedSubstance (also youtube)
and the last two are on patreon as well
Jarrad Wright (youtube and patreon)

there are others but those are some good ones to check out

different "flavors" for different people. you never know which one someone might respond to.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

that's enough for now

How do you manage the burden of knowing my friend? It's heavy on me at times.

I feel that. She takes up my every thought. But I just don't know what she thinks of me anymore. Before it seemed so certain that she genuinely cared. She's shown so many examples of it. But every time I look back I see all the times she has tried to replace me with someone else. And every time those fell through (and every one of them did) she came back to me. And I let her. Pretended that I didn't see or didn't care that she obviously tried to find someone else to fill a void. But nobody wanted her. It's a theme I see in her life, much like mine, where trust is so difficult to have because of the many times close people toss us away.

But she's done it to me so often. At least 4 times in the last two years. But she always, whether she knows it or not, says the right things at the right times to make me think she still cares about me. And keeps me there with her. She said I've stopped her suicide before. And idk if I can abandon her after that. But having her with me feels like poison. Like I'm always just a step away from losing her. And it hurts me. And I wish it didn't. I told her last replacement (mutual friend) how to fix his problem with her. Much like your advice to me. After he got out and noticed I'm in the same hole hes told me what I told him and how good it's been for him. What is so wrong with me that I can't just let go?

I like joji too but him and george-e look nothing alike I don't see the resemblance

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Beautiful post user! I'm glad you mentioned meditation. It makes a huge difference to Meditate while tripping if you know how.

We are few but growning (I believe you or someone already said that in another post) but it is true.

Fruit only ripens in it's own time

Probably gonna kill myself soon. I'm not making a big deal out of it or anything, though.

F

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>dont think i can just still like that.
(different user here) you really need to learn to sit still. patience was a herd lesson I had to learn. maybe you just aren't ready yet. you need to get prepared. you will have the ultimate trip one day. we all do. (death) time to face it and get ready. I don't mean to sound so grim but it's the truth we all avoid.

shit happens mang you do whatcha gotta do

herd *hard oops

Your intro to this post made me tear up for reasons I don't fully understand
>you know your stuff, and I know you. You know me.

I think I do know you, and I know what you're referring to when you say that you know me. Honestly, I don't deal with the burden of knowing - it hurts so much. I find myself wishing I could go back, but to go back would likely mean my suicide - mushrooms convinced me otherwise, and then they convinced me of so much more.

I've always wanted to speak to someone who is Still, but I haven't had the opportunity. I considered going to a local Buddhist monastery to see if one of them would speak to me. For some reason I think it might help

The only peace I find is from talking to the other ones who feel just as lost by their knowing, and their answers remain largely consistent with: "It really makes no sense." as they smile, genuinely, from ear the ear

and that makes me smile
Nothing is wrong with you. She is playing on your empathy. She gives you breadcrumbs of love, just enough, so that you'll stay. You feel hope. It could change, right? Not anytime soon, user. The only meaningful change that can come of this appears to be your separation - that way, you can both realize why that seperation was so necessary, so important. "You don't know what you got until it's gone" works in both directions. You don't know what you need until it's gone. You don't know what it feels like, because it hasnt yet gone

Seperation does not mean exile - annihilation. Maybe in a few years time your love will reignite. Maybe not! But you cannot know if you do not change.
This is very true user ^^ "the snake sheds its skin when it will"
I tried that once, too

How'd you try? I'm probably gonna jump off a really tall bridge I know of. Adrenaline inducing and all.

Just remember that if it doesn't work you'll just be really hurt. Also guns don't always work.

god, where do you get all this anyways? ive always wondered where people got a hold of this kind of stuff

do you think it'd be easier to do with shrooms or lsd? (ego death that is) i have 14grams of shrooms but im not nearly as experienced in them than i am with lsd

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lsd you can buy online. look into "1plsd" its in a legal grey area if you live in the states.

however right now i have some gel tab pyramids. i got those and the shrooms from my dealer. i buy in bulk to resell, but this time im just keeping it all to supply my next few months

God is angry with us and set loose the covid to cleanse the Earth. Sinners will perish

Honestly the best I’ve ever been I got a gf now and a job life is really fucking good