Hey Anonymous, t-time for another recipe <4

Am I ugly?

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N-not qualified to say, someone t-turned me lesbian in a discord the other day.

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why did you ban me

Yes

Just be yourself

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nani?!

Looking good Alice \o/

wtf are those eyebrows

I d-don't know who you are but I can definitively say I didn't ban anyone anytime recently

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I'm here

gimme something to eat

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I think you already know the answer to this question.

but you messaged me because you were mad and accused me of calling you a tranny when all i did was make fun of Kermit lmao

>N-now I regret doing so.

I only had one more anyway. Then I'd have to start repeating them. Here it is.

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FFFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKKK

every single girl i have ever dated me has switched sides

what the FUCK is Wrong with me

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I am! it's just a simple write-up on humidifying, so it isn't too tough.
looks good! pork isn't my thing, but I might give this a shot one of these days.
you look fine enough to me.

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M-moving right along from people overreacting to a joke...

Time for us to chop the garlic! You don't need to mince it, but it's up to you how chunky you want to dice it.
That's what cooking is all about! Making recipes your own

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thanks alice i'm really hungry!

Thank Alice for providing something worth while in these trying times

I'm d-doing my best

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you're dating Alice?

the only good part of the quarantine is more Alice

that's not how you use a knife...

Alice can you make pasta next time?

I'm n-not dating anyone at the moment

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>What you'll need:
>2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
>1 tbsp Sea Salt and Pepper
>2 lb Pork Tenderloin
>4 oz Butter
>2 tbsp Diced Garlic
>Foil
>2 tbsp Italian Seasoning (Basil, Thyme, Sage, Oregano, Parsley)

Scratch all of that all you really need to do is pull out that massive 12in trap cock and jerk off with both hands on the tenderloin

Clearly it is given that she is literally and factually using the knife in the video.

that's how she used one!

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Maybe!

Now it's time for the Italian seasoning I mentioned in the ingredients.
You're gonna wanna add about 2 tbsp of seasoning to a small bowl where you will combine it with the garlic.

Easy peasy stuff.

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I wish I was the real Alice

W-why? I don't wish it

I wish I was real

dont call yourself a scared piece of shit

No

but it looks like i wont be

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I am! I r-really need to just do it!

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Exactly

Ugh but she's making my cringe go up...

What's up with your thumb? looks bruised

you're just scared. you are far from a piece of shit

>but it looks like i wont be

Whether or not she's a lesbian, it doesn't change the likelihood of you dating her.

If they switched, they can always swing back the other way. Bat both ways. Good luck user

Ask her out

Hey.

Guess what?

You're cute.

I have a cuddle for you, if you'd like one.

good news! you can just follow the recipe and use your own godly knife skills in the future.

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@alice
please let me back in anekihome all i did was ask if you liked Duel Links

Season the pork liberally with salt and pepper, but leave the other seasoning mix on the side for now.
Make sure you get both sides to make the pork evenly flavored!

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>Why, maybe one of these days, I'll stop being a scared piece of shit asshole and m-make one of the many new threads I have planned, or m-make a youtube video!

What are you scared of?

Alice that is an amazing kitchen! Kinda jealous

Alice! stop making me hungry!

I can't eat most of the food she makes anyway...

That looks so disgusting. Weren't you suppose to stay home?

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this the first alice thread ive seen and i'm already in love

B-being super duper uber awkward and awful!

It's a g-green screen dear

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what are you doing here Sono?

don't like big slabs of meat, Ikarous?

>I'm n-not dating anyone at the moment

jesus, also don't add the seasoning yet... its just going to burn in the oven

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>B-being super duper uber awkward and awful!

That's never stopped you from doing this.

don't fall in love with people on the internet, user.

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there are no heterosexual women any more.

my EX wife is a lesbian
my height school ex gf is a lesbian
my rebound is a lesbian
my rebound and my ex are now married
my lase EX girl fiend told me he was a lesbian in November

this is why i hate living

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thank you alice

GUYS THE ALICE ITT IS NOT THE REAL ALICE IT IS SOMEONE ELSE

>B-being super duper uber awkward and awful!

Why be scared of that now, when you've been doing these threads for years? What's different about the new content that makes it more intimidating?

go out with guys

No t-thank you

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hi Alice

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You must have low standards

What is Sono?

Of course I do. I especially like my boyfriend's

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DORIME

Sear the pork on all sides to a nice golden brown color. This will ensure that all the yummy juices will stay in the pork when you pop it in the oven later.

It's not like this is hard, but it's a hard step to show you. You should sear it on all sides for about 60 seconds per.

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that's not actually alice, revy.
that or alice is pretending she doesn't know who i am despite her screaming at me on steam earlier

>I'm bisexual dear
Alice just became 10 times hotter

Jesus fuck you people are still around?!

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>It's charming f-for sure!

I mean, you've charmed me for sure but I'm a super duper uber weirdo guy.

Just do whatever it is you want to do. I'll back you up.

anecdotal observation doesn't necessarily represent a trend.
w-what

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Love n-never dies

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she posted in my discord that she made this thread hmmm

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SILENCE SIMPS

Show penis

she sent me this thread on steam despite accusing me of calling her a tranny when all i did was mae fun of kermit

I bet Alice2 couldn't prepare a Lunchable pizza for a small child

Fucking christ that better not be real

Why don't you use cast iron? You're just eating poison

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>SEE ABOVE
Hmm. Well, I don't understand, but that's okay.

Good luck with it. I look forward to seeing it. Let me know if I can assist.

shut up Sono

bi being 50% gay
thats how it stars

then 60%
then 75%
then 90%

then when you are about to ask her THE question suddenly she is penis phobic

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ask Alice if she wants to go out with you

That's not how it works.

Also, ask her out sooner then, if that's what you believe.

have you considered that maybe she doesn't wanna marry you?

Remember that Italian seasoning mix and the garlic I was talking about?
Now it's time to pour it all over the pork! Make sure you're doing this on foil so you can wrap up the pork later!

Very important.

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She's making pork with teflon seasoning though

This woman is out of her damn mind

No wai is she going to find a good husband with cooking skills like that

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