How the fuck do i smoke cigarettes inside without my mom finding out? this quarantine shit is killing me...

how the fuck do i smoke cigarettes inside without my mom finding out? this quarantine shit is killing me, and i haven't smoked in a few days. i'm wanting to try the method in the bathroom with the steam, window, and fan, with the towel under the door, but i'm wanting to know if there's a foolproof method to doing this (no, i can't go outside)

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Underage b&

Also, mommy gonna whoop that ass

Before pot was legal I rented a basement apartment in an old house - I once used *one shot* of WD-40 and the landlady came down to complain, she smelled it instantly. So I sure couldn't smoke.

A friend of mine took the cardboard tube from a paper towel roll out of my recycling bin. He stuffed 2 -3 scented fabric softener sheets into the tube and we exhaled every hit through that tube, like a filter, and the landlady never caught on.

Cigarettes though - don't know if that rig would work for tobacco. One thing for sure: you need an air-tight jar (huge Mason jar with proper two-part lid & locking ring to cap it) for the butts and ashes, those things create their own robust odor.

i'm 19, smoking age here in texas is 18. parents are both very conservative, they've never even been drunk (or so they say).

That wont work, good luck. Cigs are bad for you anyways

Just get the mail or something.. take the dog for a walk

unless she is a completely naive retard, she's going to know. trust me, she might not say anything, but she's going to know.

use this as an opportunity to quit user. It will improve literally aspect of your life.

So you're an adult, and you're not allowed to go outside? Time to grow up. They don't have a say anymore about what you do with your life.

take a fucking walk and smoke

By killing your mum

it's sunday, there's no mail. i'll see if i can try talking my dog for a walk around the neighborhood or something.

noted

i'm aware.

maybe one day. i don't smoke that often, but it's still enough to get the cravings.

it's a long story, but yes, it's stupid, i know.

stop smoking, retard

Take a water bottle - a big one - Crystal Geyser 1 Gallon or similar (wide mouth). Start stuffing it full of dryer sheets, toilet paper, paper towels. Layer them and crumple them up so they fill space, but not so tight that they're little balls. Stab holes in the ass of the bottle until you've got decent airflow. Not too much, otherwise the smoke will pass through unfiltered. One of these typically lasts 3 packs before you gotta build a new one.

ITT retards who can't read that OP can't go outside. why can't you go outside OP?

I saw that too, my theory: quarantine.

alarm's set for the night, and mom's asleep. she'd get a notification that the alarm was turned off and then turned back on.

that too, it's a combination of both, really.

just tell her, she's going to find out eventually. You're already addicted so you're not gunna quit, and unless she smokes too, she can smell it on you.

Will they kick you out for not capitulating to their demands? Start looking for your own place ASAP. Controlling parents like this are garbage. If they wont kick you out tell them to fuck off and do what you want. Still look for your own place, though.

None of that shit is going to work. The only way you're going to be able to get away with getting your nicotine fix is by sploofing and smoking tobacco from a pipe
However, in a serious note, use this opportunity to quit smoking for good.. its not a useful habit and tbh will weaken you for the future actual collapse of society

I get that, I'm high risk and I stay inside as much as possible. but I can also go sit on my porch for 15 minutes and be okay. there's nothing wrong with fresh air (yes it's airborne but the risk is having it land on surfaces easier, not literally breathing it in)

Tell your mum to stop treating you like a kid. Go outside. You are an adult. You can do what you want. Also consider moving out.

You’re fucked. You can smoke out a window, but in a clean environment (your moms house) your hands and breath will reek of smoke.

they will kick me out, and i'm way ahead of you on finding my own place, trust me.

You can't go out a window? They're all bugged?

Just break that cigarette up and tuck it in your lip , its going to be kinda raw but that shit will absorb through your gums and get your fix. It will work user trust me ,

all of the ones that can open have both an alarm thing on it, and a screen that can't be removed.

wow that is some shit

you gotta garage? attic? crawl space? if you don't mind smoking with spiders, crawl space is the place to be.

come clean, and tell her straight up, mom i need a smoke, and step outside. it is impossible to hide from non-smokers in close quarters.

the other option is to quit.

preaching to the choir.

no garage, the attic access is literally in my mom's bedroom (it's in her closet), and no crawl space that i know of.

juul nigger

So you're a fucking hostage?
Leave your shitty controlling mother and never speak to her again.
Actually, slit her paranoid throat before you go to prove her "security" system is a bunch of bullshit.

easier said than done, brother. everybody has different lives.

get a smokebuddy!

>how the fuck do i smoke cigarettes inside without my mom finding out?
Stopped reading here. Please leave and don't come back until you are AT LEAST 18.

OP.

>Go cough on your parents
>Let them die in hospital
>inherit house
>????
>smoke cigarettes outside without parental consent

what the fuck is this, amateur hour?

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Sounds like a residential prison. Poke a hole in the screen. Just big enough for the cigarette to fit through. Light it and insert into screen hole. Exhale directly out the window.

thought about making a homemade sploof, but not sure how that'd work with tobacco smoke.

i'm 19.

best plan i've heard so far

OP... this is the truth. it's impossible. Find a way to go outside.

When I moved back in with my parents for a few weeks I just lit one up in front of them and told them I smoke, ya know like a fucking adult? If you think you're mature enough to smoke you are mature enough to smoke with out it being something wrong otherwise your parents need to just get over it or you just need to quit and go back to being treated like a child.

Stop smoking. Smoking here and there is one thing but addiction is for the weak, young user.

definitely debating doing that. potentially with a shower running after she's gone to sleep, and a fan blowing the smoke outside.

Some people can come out as furries.
You can't come out as a smoker.
Jesus.

Shut the fuck and go outside to your porch or something and smoke in front of your house like a goddam man

Is there a kitchen fan? Over the range? Its bound to be loud as fuck, but at least it will ventilate smoke.

okay, look, even if i did find a way to get outside, how would i manage to come back inside without the smell following me? anytime i've smoked, it's been at work, so i've been able to go home smelling completely normal.

2 of my mother's family members died of lung cancer (when they were in their late 90s), so it's impossible for me to just be like "deal with it."

BUT WHAT WILL MOMMY THINK?

ok

thanks

yes, but we have an "open" kitchen, meaning that it's right next to the "living room" and the "dining room". so it'd be heard throughout the house, and my mom's a v e r y light sleeper.

Cigs smell like fucking shit and your mom will immediately smell it. Trust me i've been there.

>sMeLLiNG cOmPLeTeLy nOrMaL
buddy, she knows you smoke. Mom's can smell a cigarette you had two weeks ago. Especially if she grew up around smokers and doesn't smoke herself. So be a man, pour yourself two fingers of scotch, step out onto the porch, spark up, and sip generously. When your mom recognizes the absolute balls it took for her pathetic 19 year old nu-male spawn to do that, she will finally accept you into her bed as the man of the house.

Fuck your mom like usual just this time light up a cigarette after.

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>so it's impossible for me to just be like "deal with it."
Not really. Get your own place and tell her to deal with it. You're an adult, if she starts being a bitch just cut her off.

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it's impossible for me to say "deal with it" while living at home, i mean. if i was on my own, then sure, it'd be easy.

When I smoke I always wash my hands immediately after I'm done then if I can I brush my teeth. I have been hiding smoking cigarettes for about a year. I get outside whenever my parents are gone or I wait until they have gone to sleep. I smoke at work too so I dont have to smoke when I get home. As long as you have at least 15 minutes on your drive home from work to air out your car will be fine. I have thought about just telling my parents I smoke again but I'd rather spare them the anguish and just smoke without them knowing. More of an "ignorance is bliss" type of scenario.

Also, this.

Go stay with a friend. Tell her you're sick of her shit.

thank god, somebody partially understands, at least. i'd rather not tell them bc of ignorance is bliss.

easier said than done.

In the winter my mom smokes in the bathroom. even running water wont stop it from smelling, unless its a bathroom literally no one uses, you will not get away with it. youre probably better just hanging out your window.