Hey user can you spot *cough* *cough* me real quick?

>hey user can you spot *cough* *cough* me real quick?
what's the correct move here

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i wear a respirator and ski goggles to the gym now so i would be safe

how do i spot you?

>fix my posture
>shoulders back, chest proud, abs and glutes contracted
>stare her soul in her eyes
>lift my arm and point down the ground
>You're right here, in the calisthenics park

>ok
>there you are

I shit my pants literally

Here this rag will help that cough. It smells a little like chloroform but it’ works wonders

Sure, you're looking great by the way. My name is user, nice to meet you.

Then when I'm spotting her, presumably on bench, I get my nuts and boner right over her face and dribble sweat and saliva down onto her tits while breathing heavily. Regardless of her reaction I try to proceed to sex on the bench. If she tries to fight it I use the bench weight to pin her down. Because I'm the alpha of the gym.

put a finger in my ear, pretend i'm talking to someone while running away fast like i gotta do something important

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>haha should i?
>don't worry, it's just a random cough
>ok ok, how long have you been going to the gym?
>hum, 2 months, what about you?
>5 years, btw you look in shape already
>oh thank you, you look great aswell
>do you work?
>yeah, I'm a corporate law assistant and you?
>I work on a bank
*after she does all her sets*
>if you need help again just ask me
>oh thanks, sure
*after the gym session I try to leave when she does*
>do you wanna go eat lunch with me?
>oh sure, but where to?
> I know a good restaurant close to the gym
*after we get lunch I ask her if she wants to have a coffee after dinner on a bar, she accepts, then I ask her if she has a boyfriend ( this should be obvious by then but it's a way to give her a hint), then I say goodbye and we do this for the whole week until she gains confidence with me, eventually I invite her to come to my house and after that you know what happens*

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>coffee at the bar
WHAT THE FUCK

bar is just an hangout place in europe, you don't have to order alcoholic drinks

You lost me at
> sure you’re looking great by the way

i spot you

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Yell SWINE as loud as possible the first time she coughs for comic effect.

not give a single shit because you trust in your superior immune system

FUCK. I FELL FOR THIS GIRL IMMEDIATELY. SHE’S SO CUTE WTF.

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run the fuck away. I ain't getting corona cause of some thot

Spot them real quick

Sure! No problem!

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>ofcourse *cough* , no problem *cough* *cough*

it's that simple, you autists

>yeah you're right there
>leave

its simple

>Green eyes
>those semi mongoloid features (she's Belarusian so probably has maybe 1-5% of her genes from mongoloid DNA)

Newsflash, uggo no self respecting truly white person would want to date a DISGUSTING slav untermensch like you BITCH! LOL! Chinup bitch, oh wait you don't have one. Yikes...that jaw developement...um yikes. Maybe should've mewed harder when you were growing instead of whoring around and getting fucked by Pavel and Boris huh bitch?

Little fucking slav. Slav is one letter away from slave which describes exactly what you are cunt! You get RULED by people like me! That's how the world fucking works!

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Everyone else in this thread is a fucking simp
Here's what an ascended "normie" would do:
>the end goal is to catch whatever she has so that i gain immunity to it, kinda like the anti-vaccers
>so as soon as she coughs i kiss her gently on the lips
> its a lil poke to see how she reacts
>then i spray my ALPHA male PUA spray so she is instantly seduced and horny
>it cost me like 30 dollars so you're damn straight that imma use it
>then just to be sure i catch whatever this girl has, i stick my tongues in her mouth and swirl it around
>then just to be absolutely sure?
>i suck her nose like a japanese milf and lick whatever comes out
>but then we need a little more participation from her now
>i need her to sneeze and cough in my mouth, and up my ass
>i need her to lick every crevice of both my eyeballs like a japanese domme queen
>then a shall be one step closer to building up and leaving humanity behind
Im already like 67 (probably more!!!) diseases ahead of you fags, i have been doing these things since i was a child
Im am. Going to surpass the god papableestheygods!!

Based

have sex incel

>after that you know what happens
you play monopoly?

This

>this is your brain on inceldom

WHO

IS

SHE

what kinda weight lifting are you doing in a pool?

cringe

I'd say "you girls are looking great tonight" and then I turn and walk away.

Never failed, yet.

Shit tier game.
Your first expression of interest or any premise is asking her if she has a boyfriend, presumably after spending hours with her.

WEEE WOO WEE WOO

UR NOT TAKING MY WIZARDRY

*run away*

>be me at the gym
>really cute girl asks me to spot her
>i am super nervous
>like I can’t describe how nervous I was
>i just keep staring at her
>she repeats the question
>i just point her finger at her and say “you’re here” and then I walk away
>mfw i literally spotted her

>You know what happens
You beg her to let you watch her get fucked by BBC
Shut the fuck up you absolute fucking retard waste of braincells and skin tissue lmao

How do you approach a girl like this if your a manlet? (I’m 5’9)

1. Punch in the face for getting within 6ft of me while displaying obvious symptoms.
2. Apply hand sanitizer to fist.

Just talk to her. Get to know her, let her get to know you. You are both people, show her you are interested and interesting. Jesus Kristus you people sometimes

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I spotted you the moment you walked in the gym, baby. I want some of that. I mean you, sugar. Give it to me. No no baby don't look away. I take what I want and I don't ask for second opinions. You look good, that's the bottom line. You look good and I want you so im going to have you right now. You want a spot? Spot this dick bitch.

Yea, I'm thinking based

bitch you got china aids

pics or it didnt happen

lol

Realize I shouldn't be outside thanks to her mild cough, turn around and get back home ASAP and work out from there.

>not going to the gym in MOPP4 for them sweat Chemical Biological Radiation Nuclear gains
>not mogging the cardio bunnies on the treamills by running sub 6 min miles
>not dying of heatstroke
NGMI

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Based Todd V. poster

do american really only drink alcohol in bars?

>TRT boomer asks me how long I have left(standing in front of me)
>well, 2 sets but i'm strength training so you can wo-
>HOW MANY SETS
>2, actually do you mind spotting me? i'd be done quicker
>I'D RATHER NOT CONSIDERING THE CIRCUMSTANCES
you literally just spoke to me face to face you fucking mong, if I have corona you'd get it from our convo not spotting me
cunt

>i just point her finger at her
thats assault

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>this Yas Forums faggot again
kys yourself

>RPing this hard
jesus christ

She bails giving an excuse after solving the puzzle troubling her since you showed up. The pieces put together spelling autism.

Don't get fooled by internet pics fren

OK IDC

I would, but I am busy at the moment. Please, talk to the coach right there, he works for me and would be of help, I assure you.

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Must suck to live in Yoorup. It's too bad that alcohol is haram over there. Totally understandable, though, you wouldn't want to piss off Hussein. You see him every day after he gets done fucking your wife after all.

Irish coffee you sperge.

>You're right there

it's always americans who type out these weirdly detailed fantasies
blacked.com is also an american invention and widely watched in the states, really makes you think

I’m certifying this post BASED

180 degree spin and walk out the door

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *ahem* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

360*, idiot

>mfw she's actually an escort in china
>mfw she probably has it

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Girl that im crushing on at my workplace looks very similar to her
my heart

>Sure but if a Black kween walks in I'm ghosting your ass faster than Tyrone when he heard you was pregnant

She is probably fucking random guys. Even during a pandemic.

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all women do

>I work on a bank
you're a roofer?

when do you make her eat all the eggs?

*I have spotted your ass since you put a feet in the gym if you catch my drift.*

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realistically speaking, money jokes aside
How do you need to look to get girl like this

>we do this for the whole week

What's it like being bitch made? A chick sizes you up and categorizes your fuckability inside of the first second she sees you. If it takes a week to get in there you're a "maybe" that had to wear her down with persistence. You have the same sexual attraction as a Diet Dr Pepper when the machine is out of regular Dr Pepper. You should not be proud of this, let alone actively fantasizing about it as your go to scenario. If you've never heard some variation of "OMG I never do this..." then you haven't lived on anything but sexual scraps. Your fantasy is shit, it's basically dreaming of winning a participation trophy. Congratulations, you had sex, but at what cost? Pull your Dockers back up and stop fapping to mediocrity.

Black

brutal blackpill post

Tell me how to make girl break up with her bf for me

>"yeah sure no problem"
>wipe sweat from face so it doesn't drip on her during the set
>motivate with a "there ya go, you got it"
>help rack when done
>she thanks you, you say you're welcome
>"if you need another spot just let me know"
>continue on with workout as usual
How hard is this? Quit being autistic

Dogs can't type dummy

Spot her. Only fats and old people need to fear this virus. There's nothing to fear for the rest of us.

>global deaths from coronachan 13,500 (as of 3-22-20)
>deaths from common flu in US (2018) alone 80,0000

This is LITERALLY evolution in action. The weak are dying, just as they always have. It certainly wasn't a big enough threat to tank the world economy.

>a whole bunch of rich fuckers sold off all their stocks before inciting global fear.

hmmm

You watch. When it starts to get bad and people are starving, Walmart and other retailers will start to give out free food and tp and meds to stave off civil unrest. The fat peasants will be so grateful for some hoho's and their insulin, they'll total ignore the fact that these retailers CEO's help cause the problem in the first place.(Through media fearmongering) Once the stock prices have tanked, they buy up businesses for pennies on the dollar. They then paint themselves as heroes for saving the masses and injecting their stolen capital back in the economy. They now have majority shares.

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Try to be less obvious Zuck.

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>t. roofer

exactly

im not a dog btw

Wanting to fuck you and wanting to break up with her boyfriend are two different things. If you're beef she'll YOLO fuck you and blame it on being drunk and hide it from her boyfriend, then if he finds out she'll make it seem like anybody's fault but hers. You're probably not ending up with her, because now you're part of some drama she didn't want because you were just supposed to be a fuckboy. If she wants to break up with her boyfriend you're just a bodyguard she is having sex with, there to make sure her ex doesn't break all her shit or strangle her while he's getting kicked out of the apartment. As soon as the locks are changed and he's stopped sending crazy texts she will tell you something like she needs space and she'll block you before you're all the way out to your car. But here's the real truth: you don't want a girl who'd drop her current boyfriend for you, because you're just another rung on the ladder she's fucking and sucking her way upward on. You want loyalty, and that chick isn't loyal. Flipping a loyal chick is like catching a soap bubble: it's shiny and perfect until you put your finger in it, then it pops and you feel slimy where it touched you.

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>haha should i?
she then looks awkwardly and somewhat disgusted at me and moves without saying anything to the other guy who just naturally makes her laugh by being witty in a fun manner

These fucking scenarios never happen in real life.

Mutt's Law

You already caught it if you're close enough that she can speak to you

haha sure
>loads up 3pl8 on bench
"user, what are you doing?''
>"just trust me haha you got this"
"okay if you say so, you look strong so i trust you to get it off haha;)"
>when the bench gets stuck directly on her chest, i quickly maneuver around her and rip her panties off and take a deep sniff of her sweaty asshole for test boost
>turn 360 and walk home

>Implying that gyms are open
God I wish

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nice reference in the end

>Sure, you're looking great by the way
Simp detected

kek

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I was scrolling through IG stories and i saw the gym qt posting a salmon dish. I told her that im jealous because before quarantine salmon was my everyday dish and now i can't go out to get more. She said i will go to the supermarket tommorow and i can get you some tell me your phone. For the next 5 days we talk everyday she sends me videos and pics (not sexual related) but her being ecxited talking to me. 5 days go by she gives me a call.

>'Hey user i'm at LIDL what do you want again'
>Salmon,blueberries, eggs, protein bars and 12 bananas.
>Organic eggs or normal ones?
>Whichever your prefer
>'You are a big boy organic are better'

We chat a little bit on the phone and she asked for my location. Five mins later she is here.

Yo,what do i owe you? And she said nothing it's one me... she paid 70 euro food and didn't want my money, after that she left. I called her 5 mins later to ask her how do i disinfect the stuff and we started talking again and she was telling about her boyfriend that he is lazy and he only trains three days a week and that she loves when i send her my brutal athleanx workouts... Before she left i told her ' I wish i could hug you right now femanon' And she said i wish you could too...

Anyway i tried to close by telling her to come workout in 4 days in my home and she was positive about it but she has a fucking boyfriend... Also my gf of 6 years just left for her country to be with her parents for the quarantine and i will not see her for 3 months...

What do?

Cool a nice meal together then screw her diseased brains out

She might like you but at this point she's just being friendly. If you make a move too soon she will think you're a scumbag. Just play it cool and act as if you're not getting any signals - do not make any moves.

sounds like she wants to cheat but want you to initiate so when this inevitably comes out she can blame it on you. she already have text evidence you started the contact

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>now i can't go out to get more
Why not, retard?

>do not make any moves.
Please elaborate.

Her boyfriend was in quarantine for 2 weeks and she didn't see him and i think she was just being horny and bored.

Today she saw her boyfriend after 2 weeks but 10 mins ago she reacted to my story with heart eyes emoji shit and she sent me a german shepherd dogs ( i have gsd)

When i talk her to come over for a workout she was asking if i forgotten her boyfriend or if i'm baiting her just to clean my house because i told her my gf left me and im terrible at cleaning.

>Cool a nice meal together then screw her diseased brains out
Why diseased? I think females are schizo after the corona shit. She told me she was cleaning her house for 5 hours today and she foamed roll for 1 hour straight. Btw before quarantine she was sending me aswell and she was going to the carnival and i told her not to because of corona and she didn't believe me lol

>she already have text evidence you started the contact
No she texted me first after a posted my 2 plate bench for reps and why do i arch and shit like that and we started talking like this.

She gave me a big confidence boost because my gf leaving made me very emotional because we were living together for 4 years and we gave the house away and she started crying

I have asthma so if i get corona im fucked. Also she didn't evnen asked me lol she said that she wanted to get salmon for me...

>sounds like she wants to cheat but want you to initiate so when this inevitably comes out she can blame it on you
Oh also she was telling me that after she got out of an 8 year relationship she rushed to go into a new one and that she is afraid that it might go boomerang on her... so she is already resenting her bf... im very confused because i want to fuck her so bad she will be the best lay i had.

Stupid Brazilian monkey coomer. Do you want to give up your relationship with your GF because you want some sweaty sex with another cheating whore? Go ahead, but cancel your GF before you do you simp

>Do you want to give up your relationship with your GF
She left me retard, she was telling me if i im gonna marry her when she comes back, but i can't trust a woman who ise 2 countries away from my dick. Not a coomer

FUCKING WHOLESOME

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hahahahahhahahahahahha bravo ! ! !

obsessed

>zuck
>supporting bernie
Yes I'm sure he wants all of his money taken away.

The fall from a king to a simp in just a paragraph.

Jesus

>simp
what why?

Challenger appears

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>tfw two hot blonde (legal) teens just joined the gym at the beginning of the week
>constant glances and eye contact at me while working out
>gym closed by end of the week due to coronavirus
fucking KILL ME

>load up the bar with 260lb
>"i don't think I can lift that"
>"Sure you can, don't worry I'm here if you cant handle it"
>I push the weight onto her throat
>She squirms around until she takes her final breathe
>fuck her corpse and leave
God I fucking hate women

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She has a boyfriend and all.
Only good for a one time fuck

yeah ofc man...

Fuck you. Seriously. Do not cheat on your girlfriend of 6 years. She deserves better than that. You are seriously fucking garbage if you think it's okay to cheat because you won't see her for 3 months. Break up with her if you're that much of a pussy, but cheating is for the lowest of the fucking low.

>Break up with her if you're that much of a pussy
It was very emotional with my gf cause i truly lover her and never cheated on her. But that was the icing on the cake because she knew i can't survive this shit alone and decided to leave me for her parents. Also 3 months ago she texted with a guy(no sex shit) they were talking about me after a fight so i felt a little cucked there.

based son of sam