I am now accepting boyfriend applications. Please apply below:

I am now accepting boyfriend applications. Please apply below:

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you must be new here, tits or gtfo

I am a boy

ass or gtfo, then.

I'm a boy, too, user
your rules have no power here..
good
that's not me, user
and my ass is henceforth reserved for the applicant chosen (maybe)

you know?

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Im 30 large cock make 6 figs have a years supply of toilet paper and beans, drive a sports car and like rough sex.

31 year old white male. Blue eyes, light brown hair. 6'2", 230 lbs (I realize I could stand to lose some weight and, however I'm quite broad shouldered and muscular). Bachelor's degrees in biology and mathematics. Nice, sort of shy at first. A bit eccentric. Enjoy the occasional vidya and trying new food. Tell me about yourself.

I've never sucked a cock but I'm ready and willing to learn for the right girl UwU

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You top or bottom?

I am not so focused on money, and I am small so a big pp will not fit very well :( I also prefer to be loved gently until I can work my trust up to be able to enjoy rough sex again
This is going to be a tough one user, I used to be very heavy too and now since I'm skinny for the first time I have a massive prejudice against overweight people ;__; I don't hate you or anything but I don't find it appealing for very close to home reasons
Hmmm.. I was never too much a fan of getting head, but I like your attitude
True love makes exceptions, user.. maybe if I got horny enough I would feel the need to pin you down but for the most part I prefer raising my hips. Coyness is a strength of mine

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There are so many ways to stand out user, like the one example I gave ^^
If you were to take me needing a day of solace as "I did something wrong" this relationship would never work :(

my solace is very important to me, and of no personal offense. I need it to function, to create art, to restore myself

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I have penis

That's a good start, what other traits do you have user?

You need a guy that supports your creativity, and pounds you like a champ in da bed room

That's pretty much it in a nutshell, but there's a /thick/ layer of patience, understanding, acceptance, listening skills that go with it, too

I need someone who, I can explain my strange nuances to, and they'll be like "that makes sense, i understand"

makes my heart glow, bros. Do I ask too much??

Mot much but you cant expect all that in one day, you say im delicate enough for you but what would you offer me? I have needs and desires as well.

I am a creative and quiet person, but also very keen to experience new things. once I feel safe I am skilled with intimacy and love as I have acquired many skills over time :) I will play you songs and snuggle in your lap, give you massages and show you strange new things about life. I am a good listener, and empathetic to a fault. I am giving and caring, but also reserved and get chained by my own analysis at times. I have spent a lot of time (like a lot) working to understand and improve on myself. lots of introspection and practice, forming new habits, becoming more whole. I can garden, sew, cook, I am extremely clean and organized, I can party (responsibly) when it comes down to it, or I can spend a whole day reading a book naked

I think I'm weird but that's a tough call. I know ive got a lot to offer ..!

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Im quite, un sociabl i dislike people but only because i been hurt. Doesnt matter because i fake every emotion i have. I wear a mask its gotten me far in life. We probably wouldnt be a good match. I dont just trust people you have to earn my trust. I couldnt give you what you want without dating you getting to know you understanding you and caring about you. But i couldnt do that right away

Males/faggots/trannies are worthless and have no value.
GTFO.Tits + Vag or GTFO

user, my list of abuses towards me is long and gross - I fully understand taking time to develop trust and resenting people in general for the way we've been treated. I don't fake my emotions, I've never been good at that lol, but everything you described is exactly what i want ;__;
I'm a boy, and I have value ^^

Homofaggots do not have value. GTFO summer.

I've been here since 2007 make me nerd

Damn im out, im not super overweight ( 6.2ft 223 pounds) But i do have some weight to lose. Good luck op. Most people dont like schizophrenics anyways.

ROFL.
2007
ROFL

Okay fellow oldfag! 2004 here.
:(

And only because dialup was terrible....
... I get called fat and out of shape and I'm around 6'3" and not even 190...

I'd be happy around 200ish if it were like 10% body fat but that's just not in my cards for the weight gain OR recomp.

When i graduated high school i was 6,1 ft around 130 pounds. Got off of some harmful habits and gained a ton of weight. If i was down to 160lb id be happy.

You're a dude though.

that's not very nice
I'm not proud of my imprisonment on Yas Forums for this long :(
that's correct!
I was the smallest one in my grade until Highschool

Thats funny, i dont think it would work still. You say you want that but how do i know thats what you really want? Im freak too if i was attracted to you id never let you go without being satisfied. Theres more to me than just a desire for sex but you would have to prove to me that you want me.

I wasnt calling you schizophrenic. I was making a jab at myself. Should have looked at how i phrased it.

Faggot kys

Are you down to be abused by a straight fat neckbeard? No sex, but I will beat the hell out of you on a daily basis for little to no reason.

Quick ammendment to that, I won't have sex with you but bondage isn't off the table.

Nope. Natural selection for all overweight people without self control.

How can anyone know what they really want? I think that's part of the human experience, is that unknowing, that exploration

I can't prove to you that I want to, thats something that you would have to trust or accept, I think? There's no action, no keyword that could be proof enough. that's where trust comes in

I am fascinated by schizophrenia, actually.. I had a really good friend take his life recently who had that trait. I miss talking to him. Schizophrenia, in a lot of cultures, is a prerequisite for shamanism. I am big into other cultures and anthropology stuff, so I find that link quite fascinating. Schizophrenia has been mentioned in many of my studies into different parts of the world and different people

so, quite the opposite, really xD I find it so interesting
i tried in 2014, couldn't even do that right ;)
Nahh
I appreciate the clarification user
Or, just.. knowledge, self love, and practice? I lost 75lbs now I'm cute as a button

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Ah that is actually kinda cool, ive had many people stop contacting me and leave me when i finally tell them ive been dx'd since i was 17. Im actually having a shitty time with psychosis right now because im fighting off the flu( not covid) So the steroids are counteracting with my meds.

hi user! gl finding somebody you like
never done one of these im not very good at talking about myself, but im 20, i (like to tell myself that i) am handsome, im fit, im into art and code and stuff, and would be interested to know more about you! do you have a discord? if so i can post mine if youre interested at all. have a nice evening.

You're a faggot, now suck my cock

Sex is not only the best qualifier for a relationship, it's also the first. If we can't have great sex that we both enjoy and want then might as well keep walking. No point to getting to know eachother without that if becoming a couple is the goal.

You're right, you are far too picky for a neet over the internet with bunch of dumb pepe images saved. Explain what makes you think you're such a prize, princess.

29 year old Mexican/White male, brown eyes, dark brown hair, 6'6", 205 lb (Pretty built, have been hitting the gym for years now and doing many sports such as wrestling, football, and soccer). Masters in cybersecurity. Has been playing the piano for years and has recently picked up the electric and acoustic guitar. Really shy and reserved at first.

Then those people were doing you a favor by removing themselves, they clearly weren't the right fit ;D
Hmmm, I would just feel old user ;__; I'm 25. I do have a discord
nice dude
I explained above, I'm not gonna try and prove it too hard to you, honestly.. I'm not a neet, and I happen to enjoy apu :(

:0 you have piqued my interest user. the piano is such a beautiful instrument

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If you want to talk more about the i just made a kik

rando.jack Ive never made a kik so there lol

The piano is indeed a beautiful instrument, though I do have to say, it is quite the pain in the butt to make sure it is squeaky clean.

youre not much older than me! add me here :)
gorm#7207

F
>A
>R
>G
>O
>T

added

Wouldn't a rag with some water suffice?
yeah that's been well-established

>males are worthless
talking about yourself huh?

Hi, I'm not really good at talking about myself so I'm gonna keep this short. I'm a 25 year old German with Dirty blond hair and blue eyes (If you care about appearance). I'm 6'3" and 185 lb (I would say I have a good build since I've been in and out of the gym and doing contact sports). I've got a Bachelors in Biochemistry and am currently trying to start up a business with friends. Uhm, about myself, I am pretty chill and easy going. I like being dj at some parties that my friends have, and I also love being a bar tender at said parties.

Yes it will do, but let's not get caught up on piano hygiene. How about you tell me about yourself, I would like to get an idea of the type of person I am talking to, if you wouldn't mind.

Ich habe fur vierte jahre im schüle Deutsch studieren, aber, es ist sehr rustige :(

You are up my alley
I kinda gave the run down right here ---

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Dein Deutsch ist viel besser als meins :(

How can that even be possible I'm not from Germany!! Vielicht meine müde shmeckt Deutsch!

Aber, vielicht ich lernen gern

God I think I said that right? It's been so long

Ich habe seit 17 Jahren nichts mehr auf Deutsch gemacht!
I my blade has dulled quite a lot (so sad).

I'm actually quite happy that you took up German, I don't know anyone that has been dedicated enough to learn it for 4 years.