Wizard thread, coronavirus edition. I don't want to die a virgin...

THIS.

I was coming in this thread to give you all the very good news that all wizards were waiting for since forever.

Here is the first google answer to "coronavirus male female"
advisory.com/daily-briefing/2020/02/25/men-coronavirus

but you can find plenty sources.

There will be MANY more MALE death than female death. If a vaccin is not found in less than a year, the new population will be something between 30 to 40% men VS 60 to 70% women.

STAY ALIVE OP. STAY THE FUCK ALIVE. DON'T TAKE ANY RISK. SURVIVE.

And in 2/3 years, you will drown in pussies.

what an obnoxious cunt

Kek, she sounds real jelly.

i've only had 34 years to wake up
you're not wrong, but i'm not quite at 40 yet

run in acrowded place an d scream nigger

>How do you find someone to date when everyone is at home avoiding people
Play some online game and hope you get lucky. That aside, just try to work on yourself while everyone is going crazy, there'll be people to have sex with

lol no, people continue to fuck like crazy. But that's good, if it can kills all dumb people this way, I'm all for it. Cheers tinder/reddidate etc.

>be me
>have gf to bang while we isolate
>thank u gf

>Now, write me a poem
Yeah, if only that shit actually got peope laid instead of just laughed at

>previous to covid i would jump on Brad's cock immediately
>now i'm romantic n shit

I can't imagine being laughed at for one of my poem, your poems must be shit user.

i'm super jealous user
all i want is someone to survive the apocalypse with
but instead i'm sitting alone in my house wondering when i'm going to die of loneliness
congrats on having someone to share the apocalypse with

This is inaccurate. I'm on Bumble and Match right now and it's never been hotter. I had a date last night, a date today, and a girl is texting for a date tomorrow. No one wants to be alone in an apocalypse. Even if it's a pandemic, apparently.

“Himself” also carrys a glock which helps to encourage ladies along

user suggested a hooker and I concur. Tell her honestly you're a wizard, most hookers enjoy fucking a virgin.
Don't keep dreaming of a 30yo princess who will take your virginity with joy. A 34yo virgin is NOT a normal thing. Go see a hooker, let her fuck you, and once this is out of your mind you may be able to gather enough confidence to speak to a regular girl.

thats a fine turd cutter

>I'm on Bumble and Match right now and it's never been hotter
see
enjoy your corona retard kek

I'm on hinge right now. Messaged at least 30 people. Not a single response. Even at the end of the world they'd rather be lonely than talk to me.

Set a massive fire at the local police station.
Sabotage the cell towers in area.
Find waifu
Cut waifu house power
Break into waifu's quarantine'd home while all emergency services are busy.
Raep waifu

>most hookers enjoy fucking a virgin
do they really? or are we just something that makes their normal shitty day just a teensy bit less boring?
I have nothing against fucking a hooker if I think it would help, but I'm worried that it would be a negative experience for both of us.

>the death rate among men is 2.8% compared with 1.7% for women
2.8% is not enough, Chad will have 3 girls instead of 2 that's all. We need at least a 10% male death rate for wizards like us.

>b-b-b-but you can't say anything bad or you're a misogynist who hates women and supports oppression!!!!

What the fuck user I'm literally crying and shaking right now

Fine wheure u make me piss
Piss on u out of my dick
Make you give a little spit
And jack off while i take a shit
Big ole shit right on ur tits
My fantasy ur part of it
Gape ur butt so i can sniff
Cus nothing else can get me stiff

Public use

no argument here
how do you find someone like that who wants to have sex?

>>worried about a hookers feelings
MOUNT EVEREST PEAK KEK

Yeah by enjoy I didn't mean it'd be the highlight of her life, but she may take extra care of you because they know it's difficult for you. Depends on the price ofc.
And you have to forget about HER experience. It's a hooker, you're paying her for a service. You're not paying her for her pleasure, that'll be for your future girlfriend. The hooker is here for your pleasure, not the other way around. Just be civil and simply explain the situation to her.

chad is perfectly healthy, and he will survive this pandemic without any problem
when this whole thing is over, we're just going to have a lot of chads vs the remaining incels. i think it's safe to assume that chad will win

dont know what to tell you. im a wizard myself . funny enough tho every girl i fancied gas developed feelings for me. it was slow, cause im autistic fuck like you wouldnt believe. i guess i just talked to them, made friends with them and it slowly progressed on its own. but i never managed to seal the deal so... yeah its sad...

believe me, i understand the concept of a sexual transaction for money
i just don't see any reasoning behind sex where both parties aren't into it. i don't think i'd even enjoy it unless she also wants to be there.

I also talk to girls, make friends with them, and then completely avoid fucking them. What's wrong with us? Normal people do something different somewhere in that setup. What are we doing so wrong and they're doing so right?

Partially true, a girl liked that I was a "softie" 'cause I sent her a poem about a hookup that had vague "love" language

Not bragging cause I fucked it up 2 weeks down the line and she turned ice cold, like the idiot loser I am

But yeah, I feel you, CERTAIN kinds of females don't want anything remotely soft but idk cause Im still out there

Makes sense user. I am not left satisfied when I fuck a hooker because it's only physical even if they act like they're into it when it's ALL about the money

I just see it, as others do as well, as a stepping stone

Get past the mystery of the unknown and build from there

Doing what I have to do

stoped caring some time ago honestly. i let many girls that were actually interested in me slip between my fingers. it was some fear in my case. fear of failing somehow, which never let me act. they all lost interest woth time, got boyfriends and so on. im still fucked up after the last one. she was literally girl of my dreams - smart, funny, tomboyish and cute, she had sharp tongue, she was a real character. we were good friends for years, we knew everything about each other. actually confessed to her at one point but she alread had a bf for 2 years or so. whats even more fucked up i know she would dump him if i persisted, but like a world class faggot i told her i felt bad because of bf and that i wouldnt take any initiative (and the fact was i was simy scared) over time we drifted away cause this fucked her up (she would tell me for example that she would imagine me while they were having sex). eventually i told her it would be best for her to ghost me which she soon after did. it was over 7 years ago. havent slept for years after that. as i was starting to forget about her a mutual friend of ours was getting married. as the day grew closer it fucked me up some more. some time earlier i came back from working abroad for couple years. saved some mo ey, bought apartment, started year long programming course (full stack dev), was in the middle of it doing pretty good. 2 months before saod wedding depression hit harder than usual. stoped going to school, eventually got thrown out. its been 8 months since i did ANYTHING. i eat, sleep watch animu or netflix, play vidya and eat through whats left of my savings. shouldnt have agreed to go to the wedding...

enjoy corona dick, faggot

ur a faggot user smh

and op. get a hooker and stop being a faggot.. it's pathetic

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>ur a faggot user smh
thanks captain obvious, now tell me something i dont know.

what exactly is the point of getting a hooker?
that's maybe one step above buying a sex doll
i want a real connection with real human
getting a hooker seems so completely pointless

you answered your own question dumbass
a hooker is a human with actual flesh and sweat

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Create a tinder account and say that you’re looking for corona risk sex. The freaks will come.

a hooker doesn't want to be there with me and is just counting down the minutes until she can leave and go home. doesn't sounds like much fun for either of us

i've been on hinge for a while
messaged tons of people without a single response.
is tinder different somehow?

Go upstairs. Hi Mom.

Are you implying I live in my mom's basement or something? I own my own house and sleep in the master bedroom.

isn't chad already doing this?
why would they pick me over him?

it will happen man
just keep trying

Welcome to my whole life faggot. Ain't nothing changed for me

hey, at least i've been trying to change things
but nobody on dating sites even wants to try these days
i hope its just due to the virus, but i'm probably just undateable

dont worry op
you got this

>if she's not into it
So don't pay a cheap one? Dudes that bitch and moan about being virgins but won't see escorts are some of the dumbest people on the planet and the gene pool is better off for them being virgins for life. Do your research and you'll find one thats enthusiastic.

That won't mean shit, a number of eastern euro countries already have higher female to male ratios and the women still choose to find foreign men or stay single because the dudes are all dumb and become alcoholics.

i'm not looking for a fake connection
i just want to experience a moment where both want to be there and we're both enjoying it
paying for it instantly takes that connection off the table
i don't expect her to be hot. i'm not hot either. i just want to have a real experience with a real person

who cares. a hole's a hole
use her and leave
sounds gay

is it gay to want to be with a real woman in a real relationship?
if so then i guess i'm a gigantic faggot

just die virgin faggot

ouch, that's a little harsh
what did i ever do to you?

you again answered your own question
you might as well want to be with a man if that's what you want

>if you want to be with a woman you might as well want to be with a man
what?