Through the magic of mental illness, I was self-imposed isolation before self-imposed isolation was cool

Social distancing were the magic words the gypsy last spoke to you, right?

Humans should be destroyed

Damn Anthony really let himself go

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Alright bro. Sorry about that. Guess there's really no helping you. Best.

The sperg is confusing his videogames for reality again

Weird beards aren't magic.
They just look funny.

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I've been fit before. I'm not interested in fitness or attracting women anymore. I can't keep them away from me when I do actually leave my apartment, but it's just silly. I'm more interested in going inward than outward. I stopped driving last October and I'm legally blind now, so I am adjusting to more stress than I already had to begin with. I just survive and read, learn a little, sing a song and breathe.

I think I've already been all of those things, and now I'm growing detached from it all. In Campbell's model, I was called and resisted or eventually rejected the call. These are the consequences one must endure for not having enough courage to heed the call.

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>I lived a hundred lifetimes before I turned 25 years old
Your mental illness is showing

Why the fuck are you here then? You seem comfortable. Just taking a reading break?

What do you do for money? Mommy drops off a box of groceries every month?

It's amazing how crazy people always look crazy...

Sharpie in pooper and shoe on head to prove you are not a larping fraud.

I think I have Asperger's but the jury is out on that one (professionals differ on whether or not I'm on the spectrum, 3 to 1 that I am).

I don't play videogames. I stopped playing them when Playstation 2 came out, back in the late 90s or early 00s. I was using the term "game" in the psychological sense, ala Eric Berne.

>i believe in frank zappa

Dare i say, Based.

I can emphatize with OCD and anxiety as I have them too, but man, you are one crazy ass motherfucker. Maybe in your head you sound normal and rational, but you actually type like a complete nutjob.

What are your outputs? Ever written/produced anything? Or will you be forgotten just like all of your "inferiors"?

My life is almost too pathetic to post on Yas Forums. I have never had a friend, not even an online one, and have only went outside a few hundred times in my life.

Crazy person, here. I look quite sane. I'm magnificent at acting.

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I meant that in the sense of a person having many times the amount of experiences another person would never even have in a single lifetime, all before I turned 25. I started very early.

I've been on this website off and on since it started. It waxes and wanes. I leave for months or years and then come back. Routines. My entire life is a break, in more ways than one.

I'm on disability. I've been on it for almost ten years now, since I had a nervous breakdown during my last semester of Graduate School.

Actually, my Father did pick up my last round of groceries for me. He's an angel. My Mother has helped me as well, but she has health issues also. I wish it was the other way around and I was able to take care of them as they get older. Maybe it will change eventually.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I don't even have my cheap flip-phone out right now. These are pics from last year. All humans are frauds. Gods in drag.

what makes you comfortable sharing your face?

Can you be more specific? I don't have psychosis, only neurosis.

I left home at 17 years of age and joined a punk rock band. I've been in around 30 bands and played music professionally for much of my life before I became ill. I've never published my writings but I'm sure they'll find their way to the public once I'm dead, if someone doesn't talk me into doing it before I die. I've had some success n the arts before but it's very stressful to deal with.

I don't understand what you mean about the "inferiors" part?

No one has a pathetic life. They may have a pathetic perception of their life, and it may be caused by chemical issues in the brain or trauma, but don't mistake the illusion for the reality. All lives are meaningful and we are all definitely "connected" on many levels, if not just the physical and biological mundane tribal levels.

Layla, you got me on my knees... Layla! Please try not to steal all of the Beatles' wives and girlfriends if you can and lend me one of those strats.

Curious. Post a screen shot of your computer background / wallpaper.

I really don't know. It just sort of happened. I just found myself doing it all of a sudden. Peculiar. It's definitely out of my normal pattern.

Old users of this website would recognize me anyways, if they were paying attention. I guess I don't mind.

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Sounds more like you have IWAS (I want attention syndrome)

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It took me a second but here it is.

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describe your routine

I think you're right.

On the other hand, you could be wrong.

We're currently in the middle of a global pandemic and lots of people are acting different. This is my version of that, filtered through my idiosyncrasies. It is what it is.

A lot of Actors ARE crazy people.
I remember meeting nicholas cage in Vegas in 2007.
He was with some ladies you could pretty much label as whores by eye, you know the look.
Fucker isnt just a crazy actor, dudes actually bug eyed.

Been here a while, I dont really recognize you but I feel like this shit is so familiar.
To be honest all of the posts just melt into one at this point, I've been here too long.

It fluctuates in intensity and content over time. But the staples of the rigid recipe have to do with avoidance. I avoid everything. My toenails grow long, fingernails grow long, sometimes I go without brushing my teeth for a week or two before I realize it, I get spaced out and might stand in a spot for hours before I realize it and my feet are swollen and calves are sore.

My sleep is erratic and the quality of my dreams change from nightmares to vivid fantastic scenarios that I want to keep going back to sleep to experience.

I neglect to call my parents or my children often and feel guilty about it. It kills me. I wish I could explain a lot of these things in ways people could understand and in ways that they would not take it personally, as in I didn't care about them or love them, but that it was my mental defects and not my choice.

I have rigid food choices and have to eat at certain times before or after I take certain medication.

I have to sleep an exact certain position, always on my back, on a certain place in the room. I use the same blanket and it hasn't been changed for years.

I watch certain programs and they have to be exactly right or I will turn them off. I can't start some things in the middle or a little past the beginning.

I will tend to talk like I am on speed when I am around a certain family member and it causes a lot of issues. They have a hard time dealing with me when I am having episodes. But they still do. I am grateful. Extremely grateful.

I procrastinate everything, to the extreme. Then I will suddenly do a whole lot of tasks at once and wear out. Then I will often sleep for up to 30 hours to recuperate. Then I will not be able to sleep again for up to 24 hours. These cycles tend to wax and wane but sometimes they stay erratic for weeks.

I drink out of one glass only. I eat out of one bowl only. I have one fork and one spoon. I live like a monk.

I pray constantly. But my prayers are abnormal.

You sound like the desperation of loneliness has forced you to confront some deep truths. But unfortunately the scars of shame are holding you back. You cannot refuse the call, for the call is your nature. It will drag you kicking and screaming to realisation. What works for me is adhering to (abundance, joy, collaboration) in ACTION, not thought. Your brain is mired by shame scars. Those three qualities are the negation of (scarcity, shame and comparison). Now remember, it may be months, or years before the first three qualities ring true in your psyche, the second three are still dominant. ACTION, every day, not thought rooted in the first three. Your brain will catch up. This is where faith comes in. A secular minded faith, rooted in psychology and understanding of your nature.

I've been a meme. More than once. Also, I can relate to being here too long.

Deja Vu!

So, you're familiar with Campbell's work? Jung?

The second three qualities are the ancient reptile and mammal, with the advent of our prefrontal cortex, we were able to access the first three. However life circumstances make it so your brain doesn't develop in accordance with them. This is why you need faith daily, and not wait for your thoughts to be right. ACTION. I know you can do it, start and never ever stop. Evolution, dark energy, all require it from you.

I still have faith. What do you mean when you talk about Dark Energy? Where are you getting this information from?

Yes with Campbell. Jung not so much, as his work is a bit naive with its exclusion of psychological trauma and the difficulties that presents his theories. I've watched a lot Gabor Mate, but mostly collated from neurology to biology to mysticism to psychology.

Why are you mongs so obsessed with Carl Jung? His theories are extremely inconsistent with reality.

>I made it up
So its pseudoscience. Cool.

You could shave it Voulla no Pulling anymore also 1 Routine anymore and set up to Change your life!

I have all of Campbell's videos and most of his literature. I need to go back and reexamine some of it.

I learned Jung's work in college underneath one of the best Personality professors in the U.S. so I'm a little biased. I've also had mystical visions and dreams throughout my life that fall in line with his ideas about synchronicity.

There is no reality singular, only realities plural. Maybe.

Kali is sexy. But on the other hand... Boom! Shiva!

What?

What do you think about non-duality and Advaita Vedanta?

>I damn sure am not sharing it with anyone else
Sounds like you’re either lowkey saying that you’re not gonna tell the obvious(that most human beings are shit)
Or
Some esoteric/occult “truth” that probably has little to no science to back it up

So what secret stash of jew gold are you trying to hide from us?

wow your so cool

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I'm extremely similar across all of those except using only one utensil/glass/bowl, sleeping in a certain position, and praying. Like literally all of those perfectly describe me except for those three. And now I'm actually prescribed speed so the flight-of-ideas motormouth is even worse.

Chronic avoidance is a very frustrating problem

Sounds extremely stupid, sorry. No matter what dark energy is discovered to really be, it almost certainly has no bearing on thoughts or actions. Also, very few species' individuals yearn to improve, and none yearn to evolve - evolution is generational and not something any animal chooses, unless you count things like transhumanism as evolution. Ideas and goals should be what propel you forward.

If you really want to be existential and woo-woo, entropy and whatever time truly is could be considered as what propels everything forward. But even then, it's just a (likely deterministic) sequence of states and not anything which carries "force". Trying to relate one's personal psychology to cosmic or quantum phenomena just doesn't follow. We don't operate at those scales, and plus everyone is affected in the same way at every moment in time. It's like saying gravity is what gives your life meaning; it just doesn't make any sense at all

You will not endure

It was an obscure reference to an answer Charles Manson gave in an infamous interview. I was being a little facetious.

Everyone cuts their own way through their own jungle.

I think the universe is a lot different than we can understand. If you were to see it closer to how it appears to a perception outside of this three dimensional framework, it would look sort of like a loaf of bread. Everyone's lives would look like worms or caterpillars. The ass-end of the worm is their birth and the head of the worm is their death. It already happened.

u sure look awful familiar user
dirty or not I'd jump ur bones,hint hint

>It was an obscure reference to an answer Charles Manson gave in an infamous interview. I was being a little facetious.

Everyone cuts their own way through their own jungle.
Ahh, no offense tho, you’re less retarded than i expected at first
Honestly man, i don’t know what the fuck made you that self loathing person but you seem cool
That’s coming from a 28(29 in late July) y/o that went thru(and still going thru) alot of shit and inhuman treatment and i’m still fighting

Have you ever done any kind of psychedelic for the purpose of “soul searching”? Also, i skimmed thru some of your posts, go to a health store and buy some GABA, that shit will work wonders for your brain and will give you back the ability to sleep well
I promise you

Keep fighting the good fight.

I've done psychedelics before but I'm far too sensitive to handle them right now. I use medical marijuana regularly and it helps some. My GABA is messed up because I'm dependent on daily doses of xanax. I would be afraid to add more GABA right now, but I plan to discuss some of this with my doctor next month. I had an appointment this month and had to reschedule because he's sick and the whole pandemic issue here.

I'll keep fighting too. Hopefully we all will.

Shit, well i dunno what to say but i’m sending you some positive vibes man

Do you live in Ireland? I swear I saw a dude the spitting image of you a few weeks back. He seemed quite manic, just talking non stop, pure garbage and full on flight of ideas.

Thanks, I love you.

I am part Irish but I've never been there. It must be my doppelganger. Tell him I said hello.