Kramer: well *slams door* I got corona
*audience laughs*
Jerry: you what?
Kramer: yeah yeah I got it Jerry, the big C, the killer bat flu I got it all baby!
*audience laughs*
Jerry: my god are you sure?! how did you find out?!
Kramer: well I rushed over to the doctor after a chinese man SPIT on me after I took an entire case of toilet paper from his shopping cart
*audience laughs*
Jerry: why are you taking toilet paper out of people's carts?
*audience laughs*
Kramer: Oh Jerry it's a madhouse out there! I mean don't you watch the news?! Half the countries gone berserk trying to get supplies to survive we're like...like..caged birds pecking at each other *imitates pecking birds with both his hands* YAAAH YAAHH
*audience laughs*
Jerry: but toilet paper I mean why that specifically? I could maybe see...canned food or instant noodle soup but toilet paper?
Kramer: well you know….
Jerry: what?
Kramer: geh *montions his head towards his butt*
Jerry: what what what is it?
Kramer: eh..poo poo
*audience laughs*
*Jerry rolls his eyes*
Jerry: oh come on
Kramer: no jerry don't you see? they set us up…!
Jerry: who?
Kramer: *looks around ominously as he gets closer to Jerry's face* the toilet paper industry *tck*
*audience laughs*
Jerry:....what?
Kramer: yeah see they planned it all out from the start..the virus, the paranoia, the media frenzy, see they caused it all to make a couple of bucks oh they conned us Jerry they conned us real good..OOOOH YEAH!!
*audience laughs*
Jerry: are you done?
*audience laughs*
Kramer: what what you don't believe me?
Jerry: well I don't know I mean going to all that trouble it seems highly unlikely-
Kramer: o-alright alright you blind yourself from the truth like the rest of the cattle, but you're only hurting yourself Jerry and when there's a dirty bum that needs wiping and there's no more paper to clean it with you'll know who to thank!!
*audience laughs*
Kramer: well *slams door* I got corona
I feel like I just visited my old neighborhood and bumped into an old friend.
You're the last one dude. This website is for traps, furries, and fucking weirdos that get off to fb images of strangers in bikinis... and you're fucking here posting funny shit like its 2010... and I'm the only person reading it?
Cheers and hell yeah brother.
I enjoyed it
fucking chinks make toilet paper, guess who invented this virus COINCIDENCE????
It's like an actual Seinfeld episode.
Well done, friend! good effort
put me in the screenshot please
999999
roll
get
Jerry, I'm sick.
nice
I read this entire thing in his voice, with the clicks and pops. This was great thanks mate.
Now i'm off to Reddit to farm some karm over at /greentext pretending i wrote it.
dude, me too
A rare find - the faintest glimmer of classic Yas Forums
Who knows, maybe Coronachan will cause the oldfags to return, just for a while....
Jerry needs some work, you didn’t include nearly enough snarky posturing.
Kramer is gold though
Niggers Jerry, I found out from niggers
Good one OP, made me smile :)
Not bad, I miss this show.
I still watch Frasier on Netflix
While reading it I could see it in my mind like a real episode. Very on point. Bravo.
Top Kek
posting just because
Best thread in years. Thanks OP
nigger
good post
kek
Fantastic stuff
Very nice!
I'm with you, user. I'm with you.
This thread is how I know Yas Forums is dead. This is one of the funniest posts I've seen in literally years and it's dying. But all these trap threads and all that other stupid shit is thriving. Fucking newfags.
why in the fuck her nipple is censored?
This fun. Thanks.
*intercom buzzes*
Jerry: Hello?
Elaine: Hey, it’s me.
Jerry: Come on up.
*pushes buzzer*
Jerry: Well don’t touch anything, Kramer!
Jerry turns around to see Kramer drinking out of a juice container
Jerry: Kramer!
He grabs the juice.
Kramer: ah ah! It’s good for ya, Jerry! Vitamin C!
Jerry: Get out of here before you spread it!
He opens the door
Kramer: tck. Oh you’re next, buddy. Oh yeah!
Jerry closes the door, looks back at the Juice in his hand, opens the door, and throws toward Some Kramer’s door
Jerry: And take that with you!
Elaine walks up
Elaine: What’s that all about?
They walk inside and Jerry shuts the door.
Jerry: Oh Kramer thinks he’s got the Corona.
Elaine: Get out!
She pushes him.
Jerry: No, yeah, he really thinks he has it.
Elaine: Well, I can’t hang around here then.
Jerry: No, don’t go! We were supposed to go see that movie tonight.
Elaine: Jerry, I’m not going there with everyone coughing all over the place and wiping their hands on the seats
Jerry: ah I guess that’s true. Well, let me call George and let him know. He wanted us to meet his new girlfriend tonight.
Elaine: George has a new girlfriend?
Jerry: Oh yeah, some woman he met downtown. Apparently, she was very impressed with his parking.
Jerry dials the number
Jerry: Hey, George. Yeah it’s me. I think I’m not really feeling the movies tonight. Let’s do it some other time.
*inaudible mumbling in the phone*
Jerry: I know I know we were supposed to be Kim, but Kramer’s got Corona and you know we really should be practicing “social distancing”
George: Social distancing? Half my life has been social distancing!
Jerry: Alright alright another time, Georgey.
Jerry hangs up.
Elaine: So... Kim?
Jerry: Yeah
Elaine: Have you met her?
Jerry : no not yet.
Elaine: hm. Is she... you know?
Jerry: no? What?
Elaine: You know...
Ahh comment too long...
Jerry & Kramer: hear noise in the bathroom.
Jerry: Did someone come in with you Kramer.
Kramer: I don't think so
Jerry: Goes to bathroom to check it out.
Jerry: NEWMAN!!!
*audience laughs*
Newman: O common Jerry you can spare me some rolls can't ya you got plenty Common Jerry.
*audience laughs*
Jerry: OK tale two rolls and get out.
*audience laughs*
Newman: Two rolls that's not gonna be enough Jerry I have a hole freezer of burritos.
*audience laughs*
Jerry: Just get the hell out of here Newman.
*audience laughs*
Kramer: This is serious Jerry we might not be able to get toilet paper until next year
*audience laughs*
Newman: Looks at Kramer an Jerry panics and steals four rolls of toilet paper and runs down the hall.
*audience laughs*
Meanwhile across town.
Fucking based
I love you
...
You posted it again, please go away
>George: Social distancing? Half my life has been social distancing!
lmfao absolute gold. perfect writing
Top fucking lel. A good post amongst the sea of porn and furries. You're a real one user.
Ending really went flat for me.
>after a chinese man SPIT on me
Should have said a nigger. That would be a great in joke.
Very well done. Very similar to how the show usually goes.
Godamn I'm 200% sure you actually wrote for Seinfeld
Top keks OP
That was spot-on. Nailed it
Get ya own material OP
Make b great again with most posts like this
wow, at first I thought..Eh..but I kept reading and WOW..spot on..I did the voices and felt like I was watching an episode.
Why aren't you doing this more often?
>no "you can't spare one square"
fucking disappoint
solid
last one there is a rotten egg!
Absolutely saved. Thank you for saving Yas Forums tonight.
I need to read the rest of this. I'd pay for shit like this
Today OP was not a faggot. Thank you for this.
you're laughing. you won't find any toilet paper for months. really. get ready for a new day.
This OP is a faggot.
i heard it all in their voices
Whaaat’s deal with OP? Whyyyy is he such a faggot?
Spot on
...
I for one would love to see some oldfags.
Based. Thanks for the laugh op
Been watching cheers bud
lemonparty.jpg
Thanks for the laughs dude. Holy shit this was good
This is some classic stuff.
My whole person-hood misses the 90's with such passion that I feel like I just watched a show that exists only your mind OP. I'm glad we are all frens.
wash your ass you lazy fuck