My fiance, whom I had been with for close to eight years, left me out of the blue. No warning, no discussion, nothing. She said she wanted to be closer to her family and felt our relationship was unhealthy and not worth fixing. Said she hadn't been happy in years.
She's moving on just fine, but I'm a fucking wreck. She was my world. Basically my dream girl. Smart, sexy, funny, and always down to go on new adventures together and see new things. We were shopping for houses together. We were planning our wedding. And now my life is on hold. She's happier and healthier than ever, and I'm withering away alone at my desk.
How the fuck do I move on? How do I even consider finding someone half as good? How do I sleep in an empty bed again? How the fuck do I not just neck myself? Help me Yas Forumsrothers. Help me not hurt so much.
Cut her off completely and then therapy, user. Throw away things that do nothing but remind you of her too.
Oliver Thompson
That is a step I've been taking. It hurts immensely to let her go because all things considered I thought of her as perfect, my soulmate. I'm seeing a therapist but I wish they could do more to help. I had a lot of issues before this, but this has exacerbated everything to 11.
Now I'm trying to grasp with the idea that I could ever have a relationship again. I have a lot of issues and generally feel like a piece of shit.
If I couldn't stay attractive to her, couldn't make her feel happy longterm, how could I hope to with anyone else? How could I even love anyone else again?
Cameron Gutierrez
I was in a similar situation. Its been 4 years since. It like the first day. Its fucking eating me from inside.
Jayden Perez
Right.
So the reason why your ex was able to move on so quickly was because she didn't just dump you on a whim. She had been thinking about it for quite some time prior. So when she did break it off she had already done any mental prep she'd need to do to come away from the whole thing being as secure in herself and her decision.
You, on the other hand? Well I mean there were probably signs that pointed toward her wanting to leave that you ignored or made excuses for at the time but for all intents and purposes you got blindsided. You didn't have the time to mentally prep for a separation.
So instead of prepping, you're just dealing cold turkey.
Quickest way out of this is time and distraction. You're going to have to learn to let it go. You're also probably going to have to forgive yourself because there was likely nothing you could've done to prevent her leaving.
Keep your hand off the bottle because you do not want to develop a dependency.
I'd recommend getting a dog if you don't already have one.
Charles Rivera
what a fucking cunt
good luck op
James Williams
Well, that's hopeful. Seems like a sound read of the situation. Looking back on it, there were signs I'm sure. I just always thought we shared the same level of devotion to what we had and the same commitment to making things work. I guess I was working harder at that then she was.
I don't have a dog, but do have a small bird.
Agreed. Thanks m8, I'll need it for sure.
Anthony Green
Sorry 2 hear op, lost the love of my life five years ago, accidentally/yet purposely developed a self hatred problem like no other. While I have yet to neck myself (not due to lack of trying) All I do all day is convince myself how fucking much I'll never be worth anything to anybody like a significant other. 5 years later; she finally talks to me again, and it was the happiest recent day of my life, but I had already given up any possibility of getting back together, simply because of how far down I've buried my worth. I legitimately believe she would be happier without me, and that's something that I want her to have that more than me even getting the remote chance of being truly happy ever again. Goddamn I miss her. There's plenty of pussy around sure, but... Fucking someone who you wanna fuck is great, but, it's just not the same as making love with the person you'd actually love to give your last name to. I wish you luck op. The only viable advice that I have to give, is don't hate yourself for it buddy. You had the idea of marriage, as many people who adhere to tradition do, but alot of women these days don't sit still and pose pretty, many have built up such a grand self worth for themselves, and while I'm not sexist, I'm sure that lots of guys have been left heartbroken because of it, women will always go for gold It's why, even with ladies who are not "gold diggers" Every lady, is secretly a gold digger, money will attract women regardless of how you look. And regardless if they're in a relationship. Sorry for rambling on guys. Just try to not blame your self like I did op. It was truly a miserable mistake, because now all my brain has to say to me all the time is how much I look like shit, how worthless I am, and consistently reminding me that I'll never be truly happy again without her, yet that she's better off without me. It's fucking torturous. Ps: DO NOT GET A HALF AS GOOD BEACH go for gold bro. Good luck op. You'll need it.
Nathaniel Jenkins
Thanks bro.
I'm in a similar pit of self-loathing where I know she would be happier without me, and happiness is what I want for her. It seems like modern culture has made women by in large cold, selfish, and flighty in the name of "self-care". I made the mistake of thinking a woman could love as deeply and selflessly as I could, which seems not to be the case.
I hope someday someone proves me wrong. In the meantime I suppose I'll just work on making myself desirable enough so that if there's a woman out there that's right for me, maybe she will notice, and maybe this time I can keep her around.
Adam Diaz
I've yet to meet a woman who is nearly as dedicated and commited as a man, not to go all incel on your ass. Just take it one day at a time and don't give up hope, you'll make it dude. And one thing you absolutely shouldn't do, don't hold out hope of her coming back, don't seek her out, don't take her calls. You have to MOVE ON.
Caleb Russell
Sounds like she found out your secret political views and decided to dump your racist ass for some BBC. She’s probably cowgirling 14 inches of ebony stud piston as you read this.
Juan Butler
>ebony stud piston
kek
Hunter Barnes
Welp user, if it's any consolation, my wife is an abusive alcoholic and cheats on me with other men. let me introduce you to my friend heroin
Nolan Watson
similar thing for me a little over a year ago user
>was married for just over a year >just closed on our home >planning life together >8months after buying a home decided she’s not happy >bails on everything >moves in with her dad in his basement
shit really fucked me up user. but i got my shit together, went to therapy, busted my ass to pay for all the things she stuck me with, and now here i am a year later. i just sold the house we bought together and put a nice chunk back into my wallet, i’ve got a great job and new place to live and a great girlfriend that gives amazing head and likes it in the butt every now and then.
shit gets better user. the world is going to keep turning whether you are in a relationship or not, take this time to work on yourself, man up and take on whatever comes at you. it’s all going to be ok user.
Eerily similar. Mine is also living in her dad's basement now, because I guess living there with no friends, no home of your own, and no car is preferable to living with me. It hurts. I hope things will get better. I'll be moving to a new city halfway across the country in a few months hopefully, so distancing shouldn't be difficult at least.
Grayson Evans
There probably were signs, but she should've communicated her issues instead of piling them and suddenly leaving. Also, I'm so glad you know it's "intents and purposes" when so many idiots say "intensive purposes". Like, what the fuck would intensive purposes even mean?
Robert Rivera
Riding that ebony stud piston could be her intensive purpose.
Hudson Gonzalez
Nothing to add to the discussion but just wanted to wish you all the best. You got this man, take it one day at a time. It will get better.
Nathaniel Price
cut her off completely and don't be a fat fucking American who pays a therapist to tell them what they know anyway. Hit the gym and use your money on shit you've always wanted. Go from there in a couple of months.
Nicholas Bennett
People that use idioms incorrectly bug the shit out of me. I'm glad someone else appreciates correct language. Thanks, bud. I'm glad anonymous strangers on the internet are at least here to support me. I am currently hitting the gym like never before, trying to get back in better shape. Moving soon, but after that I'm thinking about a sporty little car she would've bitched about.
ITT - yuo wil see that women are evil leeching foids
Austin Howard
Nah, not all of them. You just gotta find the right ones.
Aiden Sanders
>a therapist to tell them what they know anyway Enjoy being alone with bad thoughts that only get worse because you have no mental support and perspective that isnt you. Gambling with potential suicide down the line sure is badass bro
Jonathan Morris
He never said not to get a therapist, he implied to get a good one who's not scared to speak his mind.
Justin Martinez
>he implied to get a good one who's not scared to speak his mind. No he didnt, read it again
James Scott
well I kind of did. Getting a therapist is along the lines of beliebing in Jezus. Whatever helps you is good I guess but personally I'd never waste money on something like that. Pondering about the reasons and how to go on can be done while doing cardio for instance.
Nathaniel Rivera
Eh. It's one thing when you got kids and are 6 years into a marriage with serious livelihood upheaval looming over your head if you don't talk things through.
It's a whole other deal when you're not even married yet. Doubly so considering if the cause for wanting to leave is just something as simple as a craving for new cock--you can't talk her out of something like that. The only "fix" for that is for her to go out, try that new cock, hope she don't get knocked up, have that new cock suck compared to what she had with you, and then you get that strange text from the ex 3 to 6 months later making small talk with you out of the blue.
I mean there you go. Problem "solved."
I sucks ass but you're just not likely to find that unconditional love you got as a kid--if you were even lucky enough to get that kind of thing because not all parents are created equally--from any given woman that's willing to sleep with you.
Communication isn't a panacea.
Hunter Martinez
Post nudes - Reflect on why she said the relationship was unhealthy. Accept your personal faults and acknowledge hers aswell. It's tough bro. BUT POST NUDES
Grayson Young
New cock wasn't the issue. To make a long story short, her family didn't like me, I didn't like them, and she wanted to be closer with them. I was willing to compromise, apparently the only compromise she could make was turning her back on me and moving into her dad's basement.
Anthony Gonzalez
Oh, well hey, there you go. You two did talk it out and it was irreconcilable.
Austin Scott
Begone coomer.
Christian Reyes
If it's worth anything, there's like 8 billion people on this planet. The odds of you having one "soul mate" and to happen to spend all this time together is so impossible statistically. There's someone out there just as good if you really want a relationship like that
Brody Turner
The truth is OP relationships are tough. Nowadays more than ever. She probably grew bored. Maybe she became interested in someone else who knows. The fact is, she is not a cunt. She had the decency to tell you the truth about how she's feeling and if you care about her, you'll understand that and want her to be happy. Break ups are never easy especially when you've spent nearly a decade of your life with someone. But you will move on. The important thing is that you don't self destruct over this. Just be healthy, movie on, you will meet someone new. If you were able to meet someone "smart sexy, funny, and always down to go on new adventures" you are more than capable of attracting someone else like that. Genuinely wish you the best OP. Feel better. Maybe have a few drinks and try to calm your nerves. But again, like I said before. Don't self destruct from this, it's not worth it. Work on yourself, be well. Take care.
Grayson Ward
Thanks user. You're right. It hurts now, but there's plenty of fish in the sea as the old adage goes. Maybe the next one won't have so many god damn problems with communication and comittment.
Jayden Sullivan
The best thing to do is to face it head on there's no other way around it.
Samuel Hernandez
Exactly. And hey maybe in a perfect world, in a year or two she'll be dating someone new, "miss you" and you can indulge in delicious naughty sex with her after she messages you on facebook to see if you "want to talk" lol. Good luck brother.
Christopher Watson
Get fucked normie.
Jason Brown
I would say have sex but we both know that will never happen you incel faggot.
Brayden Hughes
Thanks, used to daily. Don't think I will be for a while.
David Parker
notI've been in a few break ups, nether been in a relation for 8 years but got close to it one time. Time will ease your pain, try to find something you like to do. And if you find nothing try to be with people you like. And if there is no one, try again tomorrow. You'll get over it eventually, not knowing when. Watch this also : youtube.com/watch?v=dvKeCcxD3rQ
Jack Hughes
did da poor little simp run outta betabux? serves you right cuck, now you can go your own way and maga
Samuel Hall
Yeah yeah you brag about getting your dick wet then come back to Yas Forums crying like a little bitch. Get fucked
Camden Butler
Have you tried heroin?
Jeremiah Allen
I'm not OP faggot
Samuel Jackson
You're the problem then if she hasn't been happy in years dude. Cut her off, and chill out for a while. Then look for love again
Nolan Stewart
In my experience, solitude makes the suffering worse. When we're alone, we reflect, and then overthink.
Seek company, anything is better than being alone. user recommends getting a dog, not a bad idea.
Luke Myers
Stay strong OP. Last night I had an argument with my fiancee and she wants to 'think' about us for a few days and won't deny nor confirm her feelings or thoughts. To be honest, it's pretty clear she has her mind made up. She's at work right now and I'm just sitting at home losing my shit. I know her two days to think or whatever is merely delaying the inevitable, or at best mind games but she's not like that. All these questions you're asking yourself are eating me alive right now. I've gone through breakups before, but never after dating for this long, living with someone for so long and being engaged. Maybe I'm wrong. But her vagueness and attitude says it all. Totally out of character.
Nathaniel Morris
Also, general breakup wisdom: Women and monkeys, never let a branch go before they have a hold of a new one.
Robert Taylor
As someone who had to break off an engagement, she's gone dude. It take the most inane shit for a woman to suddenly lose interest. Once she does it's over. Unless you win the lottery or gain significant social standing within the next few days. Cut your losses, be ready to bail. If she really cared she would try and talk. Any woman who just bails does not deserve a second chance. And they almost always come back
Ian Garcia
I've already made very subtle ways to show I'm starting to cut my losses. If it is mind games, I'd be giving her the opposite desired effect. Could say I'm potentially trying to call her bluff, but either she leaves no matter what, and I have less of her shit to get rid of (it's all in boxes thanks to me) or shes like wait what?? I'm also worried about the fact our combined income is what makes our rent so affordable. Our lease just ended but hey. I'ma probably have to downsize and get rid of almost everything for a bit.
Mason Smith
OP here. That's how it happened to me. We had a very nice townhouse which I unfortunately couldn't afford on one income. She waited until a few days before the lease was up and left with her parents without warning, requiring me to move all my own shit out, find a new place, and basically take care of everything while her father took care of everything for her. It's shit.
Luke Edwards
Holy shit. Are we the same person OP? She's taking two days to spend at her parents 'thinking' kind of funny how for as unique as everyone is, the same exact scenario plays out time and time again. How do I not lose motivation to work and avoid blowing money on stupid shit/relapsing?
Zachary Lewis
An hero emotionfag
Dylan Rodriguez
I think we basically are the same person. I wish I could tell you how not to blow money on dumb shit or relapsing, I'm struggling with those answers myself. So far my solution has been to distract myself by doubling down on my workload and exercising as much as possible. I hate my job, and I hate working out, so it doesn't make me feel any better, But I'm gonna be miserable anyways, so if/when I do feel better, I'll be healthier and wealthier.
Jack Morales
Considered it. Tried it. Maybe someday I'lll try it again. Idk. Not ready to quit just yet.
Cameron Gutierrez
She left u for her daddy because she wants to be a lil girl forever, and ur more feminine and sensitive than a girl. She moved back home to daddy to smell his pheremones and remember what a real man is, and fingerfuck herself in his bathtub
Sebastian Miller
>chill out for a while how the fuck are you supposed to chill out if your literal happiness and cause of existence suddenly vanished
Jayden Butler
How's your social life? In my case I have no family close by, hours away, and due to being on overnights with a shift of 4, I haven't met many friends around here. I'd argue I changed myself for the better for her, but man feeling myself again would probably require what I last did when I was alone. Vape like a chimney, do copious pills, and drink daily. Hit the gym a few times a week and spend too much time online
Gabriel Scott
You betafags should post pics of yourselves so we can gawk and laugh at what such simps look like
Carson Turner
Start by showing her nudes
Mason Martin
Breakups are a natural state of life, so is depression. Nothing Simp about it brother. The simp thing to do would just be moving back in with my parents and going NEETlife or an hero.
Robert Morgan
If she is all that to you, this is why she ran away You're supposed to be her rock, not her needy bitchboy wtf get a clue You dependent motherfuckers
Dominic Wilson
We can make her unhealthy. Post info.
Adrian Nelson
Most people feel that way though. Not OP but I felt that way and gave my fiancee no satisfaction of ever knowing. Only Yas Forums can hear about my soft side xx
Jace Anderson
A girl spends years with you then dumps you like a dirty old sock and you're considering suicide You failed and you're not even seeing how or why Go to r/theredpill you useless pussy
Luke Richardson
Hot. Show pics of bitch fiancé OP.
Jaxon Diaz
idk man from his tone and choice of words I feel like he's on the verge of committing neck rope. also what the fuck does being her rock mean
Andrew Wilson
You probably grew to be perceived as the provider user. never become the provider, never giving to their demands, women are naturally like schizophrenic children. I'm sorry you're you're going through this, but trust me while you can't change how your story began you can decide how it will end, make it happy, make it count. Women are like that, they won't tell you they're unhappy. Truth is she broke up with you long ago, you only discovered it now.
