Can I hear a non-hateful take on BPD? Surely there are those that have it but aren't as bad as many?

can I hear a non-hateful take on BPD? Surely there are those that have it but aren't as bad as many?

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BPD is like a love hose and you have your love hose and someone comes and turns it on. Then it pours out constantly until something tiny nudges it and then it's completely blocked off for a while until it opens again. People don't have to be abusive pieces of shit when they are completely immersed in irrational hatred for a special person in their lives but it's incredibly hard to resist and people with weak wills are terrible to be around because of it. If you don't lash out against people you love you feel severe internal pain. Indeed most of the time people with bpd are hating themselves more than anyone else around them and only when their psyche flips from inward blaming to outward blaming do they cause as much harm to others as they do to themselves. That said it's a shit ton of work to help someone learn to love themselves when they're their own worst enemy and the feeling of ungratefulness when they turn around and say everything is your fault is not worth it for most people to deal with. It's a clear red flag and people that aren't ashamed of having it are 99/100 times human trash that use it as an excuse to be erratic and abusive.

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BPD is terrible but not if you get it under control and actively go to therapy and try to fix urself
stop making excuses for your behavior, get your anger under control, regular therapy sessions and medication, etc
you need to actively want to change and heal but most dont so your just stuck with assholes

My gf has one of the most severe cases of BPD that I've ever heard of, but she is still the sweetest person ever when it isn't clouding her mind. I know that when she lashes out that it isn't her fault and she can't control it. Honestly she is more like my daughter than my girlfriend, I won't give up on her or leave her and make her face her problems alone. People who are so hateful towards others who suffer from BPD simply don't understand it and are too concerned with their own feelings getting hurt.

cases like this are sad
user literally views his gf as a child, and refuses to let her accept any sort of guilt or actually acknowledge the way she acts is wrong
literally
>yeah but when he isnt hitting me hes real sweet!

Yep pretty much, we are like father and daughter and she calls me her pappie. She knows she did wrong when she lashes out too, I just understand that it is not something she can control. And how sensitive is your ego that you are comparing words to actual physical violence?

Ew. My bf also made that comparison that I'm like a kid and that I got to decide which I want to be, a partner or a child. Also funny that I sort of look like one. At least I don't call him "daddy" It gives me a gag reflex when I just think about it.
t.bpd gf if you didn't figure it out

But OP. I don't know. Well. I hear around internet that we fuck good. So there is that. Yup.

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So are you saying it's a matter of being weak-willed and self-hatred? Not knowing how to deal with it, so lashing out? I agree that people who "aren't ashamed of it" (people who see it as an excuse for their behavior/something that they can't do anything about/maybe even define themselves by it in a twisted "positive" way, is how I would word it) are in part responsible for it being such a shitty illness (the top ones being those who refuse to recognize it, as they're usually the most out of control).

Out of curiosity, do you ever feel romantically lonely, being with someone who is more like your daughter than your girlfriend?

Yeah, having BPD sucks in the way that it essentially makes you act like a child. It can be great for yourself and others to be around when it's positive (enjoying things with a childlike attitude), but when it's negative, I imagine there's a kind of loneliness our partners must feel, in that they aren't seeing us as equals or adults.

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Bland as fuck

>So are you saying it's a matter of being weak-willed and self-hatred? Not knowing how to deal with it, so lashing out?
Well I think the emotional volatility of BPD is they have a ton of internalized self hatred and rely on external validation then when that validation is threatened they lash out and externalize their hate as a defense mechanism.

>can I hear a non-hateful take on BPD?
I'm sorry, but this isn't possible. If you have it, you know how bad it is, and why people hate it. If you're someone trying to convince yourself it's not that bad, trust me when I tell you it is.

That's a really excellent way to put it. What's your experience with BPD?

There are different people who have it at different degrees. Saying that it's "not possible" to describe this non-hatefully seems pretty silly.

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My bf is the second guy to tell me he is scared of me. That really hurts to hear.

The fact that BPD psychos can attract and maintain partners and I still can't... I am so weary of this world.

No sympathy for the foxes. Why! I just wanted to hold you and feel your life through me but it always keeps disappearing!

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BPD males make great sissies, they are easily findable on Grindr and almost always want to get TOPPED. This is a positive.

BPD is a severe mental illness that makes people hard to deal with socially. Damage and danger can be mitigated if it is properly mitigated, but it is an exhausting experience. Especially when you yourself are also suffering of a mild personality disorder.
I cannot recommend.

>There are different people who have it at different degrees
I've met several, but never one that wasn't abusive.

It's all a lie, dude.

I suffer from age regression so I know the feel user. It's not healthy to indulge it though.

To everyone saying get therapy...
It's also incredibly hard to get therapy for BPD in certain areas. I've been through a dozen therapists that were unable to help, some who were actively harmful. It is an incredibly stigmatized diagnosis even among "professionals".

Sure, just read the DSM-V in comparison to the DSM-IV

When I get high as fuck on LSD I really empathize with you BPD fuckaroos, it's just like your manic phases. Very interesting.

I have DID. Open to questions you might have

What's considered abusive or not these days is pretty wild; I tend to be very skeptical when people say things like "My ex was abusive"

I've been labeled as abusive for spiting and being verbally mean over text for 5 minutes. I think when you have BPD and other's know, they tend to use it as a verbal weapon against you. Like having BPD isn't hard enough.

Well, the one I dated would sometimes make up lies in order to make me get concerned, like talking about how there was another guy really into her, and slightly imply she was into him too, but then after a bit she would suddenly cut the conversation short, as if she just realized what she was doing, but couldn't admit to it. Then she started trying to manipulate me into thinking I was a bad person, and that I had caused her harm, just to make me feel bad. She went to the point of implying she was going to tell others about it. When I broke up with her, she screamed at me, and threatened me, and tried to blackmail me, saying she would leak my nudes and spread lies about me if I did it. Thankfully she never did it.
Her behavior kept getting worse over time, and I'm glad I got out.

I found out she had bpd after I broke up with her by spending months researching about her behavior and talking to other people who had it. Eventually I had it confirmed to me by a mutual acquaintance.
People call you abusive because you fucking are, and the fact that you even have the audacity to deny it just makes you even worse.

That's what my bf says! I tell him that I love him and he says that I don't. Then I bite his arm!

I don't know if he is right. I think deep down in my conscious I do now. In beginning I was more phony.

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Hun, I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not even a girl. She gaslit you, threatened you, and hurt you over and over. Of course that was wrong. Just because me and your girlfriend share a disorder, does not mean we act remotely the same.

I don't think people with bpd lie when they say they love someone (at least not entirely). I think they feel love differently, but I don't know exactly how. It just seems baseless when seen by someone who doesn't have it.

The abuse is part of the disorder. I have yet to meet any person with bpd who wasn't abusive. What I have met were some that claimed to not be abusive, but then multiple guys they'd dated all reported abusive behavior from them.

In that sense, yes. Though I would clarify abusive is a behavior not a trait. I was emotionally abusive before I knew what was going on. When I was diagnosed and reflected on my life I voluntarily distanced myself from society. I haven't had a romantic relationship in over five years. I don't let friends get close anymore, and I monitor how I act the best I can when I feel threatened or vulnerable. It's a shitty life but I'd like to think I've done the best I can with the cards I was dealt. I didn't chose to have BPD, but I did chose to not hurt people I care about with it.

People with BPD need to work on two things that pretty much everyone needs to work on (but people with BPD especially): patience and kindness/forgiveness.

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Your heart is in the right place, but this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the disorder. There are actually a lot of fundamental emotional and cognitive problems in people with BPD, usually due to severe childhood abuse, and it requires very specialized therapy to improve this.

Unfortunately, there is a severe shortage of qualified professionals for this and way too many unqualified quacks pretending they can treat any and everything.

In other words, asking someone with bpd to stop being a raging bitch is like asking a fish to stop breathing water

More or less. You really should only date someone with BPD if they are in treatment (or have been treated), they are trying their best, and you are willing to deal with these issues when they inevitably arise. BPD never goes away, but it can be mitigated a lot. If that is too much to ask, that's fine. Just date someone else then.