What the fuck is the point of existence

seriously, why are we alive, why does the universe exist, whats the point of it all? i feel like there has to be SOME reason for its existence. i am starting to believe it is a simulation of some kind, although not really of a computer variety, perhaps simulated by a higher consciousness. I feel like our universe is used sort of like a testing ground or experiment to learn something...but why, for who? It just drives me crazy, I really wish I knew why the fuck existence was a thing in the first place

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I don't think we'll find out in our lifetimes.

Right now quantum loop gravity and it's kind are one of the leading theories and they point to the universe being a cycle of expansion and collapse, being created over and over again, like a pulsing object, only that each pulse spans the time of billions of years. If so then perhaps we are possibly just a creation of random chance. Perhaps this pulsing universe is endless in the number of pulses, and that there was always a something rather than nothing.

It doesn't explain WHY there is something though. Surely there has to be a first mover? Or maybe there doesn't have to be? Maybe it's just a flaw of human biology that we have to feel like there has to be a first mover.

There's not a reason, but I guess you could call it a simulation of sorts. It's just a simulation that runs on its own, repeatedly for all of eternity over and over again.

The funny thing about these theories is that sense it's infinite loops we're all gonna be born again exactly the same infinite times just by pure probability. At the same time we're going to be born in every different conceivable possible way by the same logic. So there's a rich version of you fucking your 3d waifu, or rather there was and will be. Maybe there's one where OP actually gets a satisfactory answer by making this pointless thread.
As for purpose, assuming there is one, what makes you think that humans would even be able to understand it with our limited consciousness? The universe probably isn't tailored to us, especially if we're just in a simulation.

sentience is just an accidental quirk of evolution

If there is a God and consciousness is all you know, then be grateful for life, and thankful for death. If there is not a God and existence will unfold and refold then are you even truly conscious? If no spirituality exists then the thoughts in your mind are no more relevant than the actions you make, it's meaningless physicality based upon reaction to action. If the universe is God through pantheism then celebration of life is celebration of God, and in death this plays the part of finality, celebrating our departure of mortality, back into the essence of the universe, God.

Incorrect. This version of reality is the only one that results in your existence. It takes an incredibly precise sequence of events in order for you to be born at all. Literally everything before your conception has to be identical in every instance. There's simply not enough time between your conception and life cycle for there to be any discernible difference, even if there's very slight deviations during that time.

>There's simply not enough time between your conception and life cycle for there to be any discernible difference, even if there's very slight deviations during that time

If what you're saying is that nothing is exact in reality (as in you can never find something that's completely flat, or that's exactly a pound in weight) I guess you're right. But a person could be born with your exact genetics with the formative memories if given an infinite sample size, even if the chances are next to none. It's more of a clone situation, not a transfer of consciousness.

i feel like our imagination has to exist somewhere. does that sound weird?

We literally can't tell if this is imaginary or not
We rely on feedback and repetition/constancy to determine that this is real which can both be imagined although it would have to be rigorously precise to not break the illusion

I hate the idea of the universe having a shape. It's so finite and arbitrary.