I am bored, or at least I would like to define how I am, I feel empty, a feeling that I have not had in months, nothing I do satisfies me and I tire quickly of it, my pessimistic thoughts sometimes become suicidal thoughts and depressive, I need to distract myself and stop thinking so much for a while, maybe this will go away tomorrow, I don't know...
>pic related
Thats exactly how I am.
>Want to talk about anything?
Yas Forums is all about talking but talking ain't solving anything, you'll get quick dopamine rush that will die with this thread, if you really want us to accomplish something meaningful we have to focus our efforts bidirectional, you can make the first step by providing me with your contact info
A dopamine rush is what I want right now.
The other day the neighbors use some extra lour fireworks. Super scared me. I had paranoid thoughts about gun fire. lol I super freaking but everything was okay.
Why would your neighbors use fireworks? Was something happening? is it frequent?
saw a meteor shower earlier, is kinda cool though it kinda bums me out how far away space travel is.
I don't know for sure. I assume they just love them. They're fun. They don't use them that frequent normally its like a 4th of july thing.
I have never seen one in person, the city lights do not allow me, I suppose you were in a remote place. Spatial phenomena have that effect on people.
Thats why I asked, fireworks are usually a 4th of July thing. And that doesn't bother you? noise, clutter, lights ...
Whats got you feeling this way user?
In short, loneliness. The quarantine has left me alone for quite a long time, and I have so much free time that I don't know how to use it, the first few days it was all very fun, but as time went by things became more and more boring, I started to think and I realized that I really am quite alone, I realized the kind of person I am, I realized that I am the "clown of the class" that when in public is the most cheerful, but when this alone is someone depressing, I realized that I have no real friends and I realized that I am a toxic person, that kind of person that when they want to help me I take them away for different reasons, either because I think I have no solution or because I don't want to pull them into the well with me. I realized that I have no right to complain, that all this is what I look for me for my way of being, so I have kept all this for myself. I know I should go to a psychologist or something, but... I don't have the will to do it, I am very weak.
>Thats why I asked, fireworks are usually a 4th of July thing. And that doesn't bother you? noise, clutter, lights ...
It does. My next door neighbor legit thought it was good idea to have a phone call at 2 am next to my windows. super loudly. lol
You don't seem upset, how long has it been?
Hey user, I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I genuinely hope you feel better soon! When I'm feeling the same way that you are, I usually find it best to distract myself with things that make me happy. Like a good vidya, or upbeat music. Right now I'm feeling pretty cozy and I have dark chocolate biscuits with me heck yeah. Have you been getting enough vitamin D lately, user? I mean that seriously. I usually feel quite down if I haven't seen sunlight in a while, which I imagine is more common since most of us are now forcibly quarantined. If you can, maybe try taking a walk in the sun through a wood area or something. Might make you feel better!
I sincerely hope that you reach out to a psychiatrist or therapist! Personally, they're not for me, but please reach out for help, user. I don't see any harm in trying and they might help you. I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely, I know how it feels. I'm wishing the best for you! Good luck, user!
These solutions seem simple enough that even someone like me can execute them, thanks user, I will put them to use when I can.
years. I am kinda of a push over plus I got used to it.
Does anyone else feels their anxiety and stress as something physical in the head.
I feel like it I made a hole in my head all the pressure would go out and I would stop feeling bad
I can actually sympathise with a lot of what you've just mentioned. The "clown of the class" idea, no "real" friends, feeling that you're toxic. I felt the disconnect between being by myself and then with others was strange. When i truly realised it, it made me quite confused. I think both parts are me, however i believe i can wear a mask quite well. Even to my detriment at many points, i think i was/am scared of people seeing how broken i really am and try my best to hide it. I think its got a little better desu, i just kinda was myself more often and stopped forcing myself to change as much. Of course im still cheeful at times, thats just part of who i am, but you just need to feel out who you are sometimes.
The idea of having real friends is not something i can really talk about desu, in my life i've probably like one real friend (maybe a couple more that were like half way there). Most people just don't care enough about others to reach that real friend level, its disappointing
If you have realised that you are a toxic person, thats good thing. You can now take the steps to fix those faults, don't be too harsh on yourself for things you've did in the past. Try to become a better person, little by little. I had a big moment where i realised this, it was tough but i feel like im a better person now.
I'm rooting for you user! I hope everything goes well for you. Sometimes simple solutions and small actions can be really mood changing.
The only thing i desire is a g.f/b.f but i am too autistic and ugly to get one.
So what should i do user?
Endure until it happens
Oh, I was thinking of telling you to tell him it bothers you, but if years have passed and you're used to it, I guess there isn't that much of a problem.
It is possible, depression can become a physical problem if it progresses enough, and according to what I have heard to repair mental illnesses you can do things to your brain so yes, it could be possible.
That is actually good advice, I think all this time I have been lying to myself, I have been telling myself that I am good at wearing masks and my true self has faded over time, maybe if I should be myself as you say. Thanks for the advice, it has helped me clarify several things.
Thanks.
>tfw you ult a minion
Are you really like this or is it that your self-esteem makes you look yourself that way?
I unironically look like this and im 5'6 and have a 5 inch penis also yes i like to play league and im really bad at it
Are you a cute femanon or at least tranny?
No.
Yes, you have the profile of an average player, look, if you really want a partner I see 2 options, the first is that you improve physically, I have seen worse cases that have shown considerable improvement, if I can improve my broken personality and try to improve as a person, you can physically improve, come on user, it is a matter of will and move on.
The second is to stop being autistic while still being yourself, because if you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else.
Of course, the ideal would be to do both, come on user, you can, it's difficult, but you can.
>No.
Are you at least cute enough to crossdress and get topped?
No user, I am not, if that's what you were looking for, you can leave.
Its tough, its not something i'm perfect at all yet but im for sure happier with myself as a person now. I think its good that you've been able to step back and analyse yourself, like you have. Most people have an ego, which stops them from getting there. I wouldn't say you're weak at all user, good luck finding yourself.
No one is perfect, we all have blemishes, but we are human beings, we have the ability to change and improve, I realized that a long time ago while I was sad and it made me feel better.
Thanks user, I'll try, good luck to you too, you really seem like a good person.
i am losing weight user the thing is getting the g.f/bf is hard man it really is like the only things i talk about are autistic shit (comics, anime and weirdly enough chemistry) i hope i can get a g.f before i turn 25 (this october) if not i might not handle it also i like league a lot
I'm not but getting fucked will literally fix everything
This kind of thing is not something you can force, user, if you force a relationship it is likely that in the future you will regret it, why are you so desperate? Is there any reason for it?
Do you really want to have a relationship or is it just despair that makes you see that?
Which are your mains?
No user, it won't.