I do not understand the process of acquiring a girlfriend. Every time I ask about it, I get vague, bullshit answers that do not actually mean anything.
>talk to girls
>be yourself
>put yourself out there
These are vague, bullshit answers that do not actually mean anything. Why can no one give me an actual answer?
Other urls found in this thread:
There is no actual answer. Getting a gf is not math, you can't make a formal system for it that works everytime.
This.
Having a serious job, being fit, dressing well, having a good hygiene, not being an asshole and exposing yourself will give you the best chances, but theres no sure thing.
1. Be attractive. At least enough to be handsome enough in the eyes of your partner. If you're ugly you're fucked, potentially undatable.
2. Be interesting enough to the point where spending time with her is at least not boring for both of you. Can't form your own thoughts? Autistic? You're probably fucked.
3. Actually be assertive. Ask her out, invite her somewhere, explicitly ask if she wants it to be a regular thing. If she says no just shrug it off and move on.
Don't rush things, don't do cringy shit and fire off on redflags like saying "i love you" when you knew her for a fucking week. Sorry man, you need experience with those things to get more experience in those things.
If you are 18 and still don't know, you're just fucked kid, sorry to tell you so
> you need experience with those things to get more experience in those things.
luck and compatibiity
compatibility: how prone 2 people are of getting along,depends on both short term attractive factors (appareance,status,charisma,and money) and long term factors (personality,shared effort to keep contact and shared experiences)
luck: you might hit the jackpot and meet someone totally compatible or you might be born in a place in wich you embody everything is considered ''unntractive'' by most people
for luck the only option is trying as many people as possible and trying to go to places were people with similar compatibility might be
for compatibility there is a hard limit on how much you can change yourself before either you hit a psiicological hard cap and mentally break,or find something you simply cant improve in a reasonable frame of time
so,how fucked are you?
Let's start with the basics. For what reasons do you seek a girlfriend?
there is no answer
women now put up 100% barrier to men irl, and only consider men they meet anonymously through tinder for sexual stuff
honestly its a joke, i used to friends with and worked with the exact same kind of women id be fucking on the first date on tinder
women literally have two different modes, one where they want to emotionally cuck you and make you feel like shit, and what is no strings attached sex to them
its a joke, women lie about looking for a relationship then fucking ghost you when they realize youre autistic
I met my first girlfriend at 17 in college. Friends of friends came by and she stood out. Later the same friends of friends went with us to some party and I used that opportunity to talk to her more. We just clicked, and ended up walking home together drunk and holding hands. Next day I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie with me. We went. Then you say, come hang out with me and my friends at this or that thing. If you guys are compatible, and you keep showing interest, it will either work out or fizzle out.
Current girlfriend I met through Tinder. Very different experience. Basically just finding someone interesting and texting them over Tinder. If you get along well, ask for her Snapchat or phone number. My girlfriend and I texted a couple hours a day for a couple weeks before we finally agreed to meet at a coffee shop for a date. That's actually a lot longer than usual. Usually you text for only a few days before you ask her out but it depends on her personality. The rest of it is the same. Invite to outings, go on more dates, if things work they work.
Unironically why do robots think there is a gf algorithm? Is it their lack of experience? I know its disappointing but getting a gf is a purely heuristic process.
A desire for love
What do you mean by a desire for love? What is love to you and why do you desire it?
I am not sure, but I see it in the relationships of those near to me and it hurts to see what they have and I do not
Love is overrated user i fell in love with a girl but it was unrequited love so i spent 3 years depressed doing drugs chasing a girl who didnt care
You want intimacy.
Simple as.
So would you say that your end goal is simply to have what the relationships nearest to you display?
Normies don't know how to explain because it comes naturaly to them. Being autistic I have no idea either, it's just too much of an abstract exchange between two people, with million of social rules implied that lets them know exactly whats happening. I don't even know if it's possible to crack the code.
I used to think you were supposed to become friends with a girl first and then announce directly that you want a relationship (you know, being logical and effective), but normies hate that because it's too reasonable, so they want you to play their stupid mind-reading games instead.
>tldr: neurotypicals can suck my balls
My end goal is to be happy with someone who is happy to be with me
Comes naturally to and doing unconsciously on auto are two different things. A distinct difference between those autistic and those not is an ability to read facial cues. Facial cues make it easier to discern the thought process of the one evoking them thus leading to smoother communication. Those autisitic lack an ability to use this means of communication on auto, but can indeed learn it by studying the art of bodily communication and bodily external communication. This is an art that is very well possible to study and has been studied, much like oratory.
I don't know what precise group your refering to when you refer to normies, but there are various categories fromwhich to pick, and with each, different conduct for courtship, dating, and marriage.
That's a broad goal which is attainable by simply finding someone with which you have a common interest and/or can enjoy an activity with.
user I've had 3 gf's one of which was abusive and terrible. I have absolutely no idea how I got them. At this stage in my life I feel too autistic and mentally ill to get another one. I'll probably just see hookers
Friendship could be attributed to the qualities you just described, and could also be categorized as love. If what you seek is not friendship, then you will need to refine the statutes of what falls under the image of what you seek.
If you ask a fish how to swim or a bird how to fly don't expect a satisfactory answer. Most likely it came naturally for these people, they never had to pay it any mind. You are different, trying to artificially create the same conditions. The normalfag, even when trying to give you the needed "building blocks" can't do it since they haven't processed the information to form all the necessary "blocks" in their mind, instead it's a cloud of vague details, tangents and essentials all mixed in disarray. When they say "just talk to girls" it doesn't mean "just talk to girls", it has other things attached to it in their brain such as the context of the talk, the subject of the talk, how to initiate the talk and in what manner to talk etc. but they aren't processed enough or even at all to form a "block" to be conveniently conveyed to others.
Even if you're seeking advice from someone who has all the "blocks" they might not know which ones you are missing or even consider some self-explanatory or trivial when they're not.
You need to realize that they are not bullshit answers. You just don't want them to be true, don't want to admit how simple the solution really is due to the implications.
>Why can no one give me an actual answer?
If you want to break it down quantitatively, getting a girlfriend (typically) requires a certain amount of meaningful human interactions. Essentially it means possessing and using normal social skills in normal social situations. That's what makes getting a girlfriend "natural" and difficult to explain; it's not very easy to explain literal decades of developed behaviour and a deep understanding of modern social codes and routines.
>BEE YOURSELF
>Not bullshit
>If you live your life as you want to, you are not statistically more likely to encounter someone who shares your interests.
>talk to girls
That isn't vague advice, you literally have to walk up to a girl you've never talked to before, say, hi and try to start a conversation. You can look up videos on how to start/lead conversations.
If you want a decent opener. Just walk up to someone (it doesn't have to be a girl while you practice, talk to who ever you find the least intimidating) and say "Hi, sorry to bother you but I'm trying to improve my social skills by talking to someone new everyday. My name is ___".
I've started doing this and people really do open up when you're honest about it. Sometimes they'll say that they're busy and can't talk but more often than not, they'll at least talk to you a little bit. If you talk to a guy, tell them that you're trying to build up courage to talk to girls. EVERY guy will understand how you feel and it will build a bit of a rapport. I've had a time where I've told a guy that and then we both decided to try and get each other to talk to some girls. Afterwards, I actually just went up to two girls sitting down at a bench and asked them if they minded if I sit down next to them for a minute and I was surprised to hear them say that they don't mind.
Anyways, you need to practice talking to people, but when you first start out, keep it simple with things like "Do you know where ___ is?" or "Is there a good place to find ___ nearby?". A lot of it is muscle memory so once you get used to asking really basic things, it becomes much easier to build from there.
Truthful to the last
I've heard the suggestion that you talk to people working for official charities trying to solicit donations in cities (they usually wear vests or something identifying themselves and have clipboards) because they're pretty much obligated to strike up a conversation with you.
>be yourself
Is being yourself attractive to women? You will never be loved nor liked by women of being yourself.
Being high value, yes but not otherwise.
Work out
Control your diet rigoursly
Get a good haircut and style your hair
Dress well
Be somewhat succesful (can be anything really; school, work or activity)
Talk to women
Try to flirt
Attend events and activities that have women in them
If nothing works, move to a new place
This won't be read, but it's bulletproof
That can work too. Really in the beginning, just talk to whoever you think would be easiest to talk to. It's all baby steps.
You should supplement it with watching videos about body language and appearing friendly/inviting as well. It's kind of weird but when you talk to someone new, your tone, body language, and casualness should be as if you've briefly met them once before.
If you have to ask, you can't do it. It just comes natural to people.
t. khhv with chad friends
>"Hi, sorry to bother you but I'm trying to improve my social skills by talking to someone new everyday. My name is ___".
The normal process normal only works for normies.
Try using Bumble instead!
>If you can't unconsciously do it, you can't do it consciously. People do it without questioning what they do and how they do it.
>If you live your life as you want to, you are not statistically more likely to encounter someone who shares your interests.
Depends on what those interests are. Faking it can increase your odds substantially if your interests can be assumed to be found within a subset of a more popular field of interest you first need to enter into.
Faking your interests won't help you build a genuine relationship with people and it will only make you miserable the more you pretend to like it. But even for niche interests, you're more likely to find someone who shares that interest if you actively seek out someone in crowds who share one if not more of your interests. It's kind of like division in a way.