I found r9k in Oct 2015 after the Oregon shooting. The shit you guys were saying, posting. I thought it was the weirdest shit. At the time I didnt have anything in common with you guys. I was a sophomore in college, making good grades, fucking a pretty girl and having the time of my life. Sometimes I would check it for shits and gigs but that was it.
Around 2016 my life started getting progressively worse. I developed intense anxiety from the amount of weed I was smoking. I got depressed, my grades slipped. I stopped going out, talking to girls. Still I had my roommates to keep me from going crazy.
By the time I graduated in 2018 my social life was non existent. I hadnt touched a girl in nearly two years. I gained 30lbs. The only silver lining was I cleaned up my act academically enough to get into a good grad school.
When I moved for grad school, I planned on making a change. I was going to lift, dress well, study, make new friends. But it didnt pan out. I skipped orientation, never worked out, skipped social events/class and withdrew into my apartment. Without roommates my only social interaction was here.
In the two years that I have frequented this board, my life has only gotten worse. I have become more jaded, racist, hateful, and vitriolic. I am so sexually frustrated I fap to rape porn because to me thats more realistic than a girl actually liking me. I spend my days arguing and tearing others down for moments of superiority.
>ha I had sex before and you didnt
>ha I have a career and you dont
And for what? I am just as miserable as you. Sure I am not a NEET, I am not a virgin, and I am not ugly, but I am still here. Still getting my only social interaction from this place. I am no better than the biggest incel NEET on the board.
I need to check out for my mental health. Maybe get some therapy or something. I wasnt always like this. I know I can be happy and I know the first step is leaving this board.
So goodbye.
