/britfeel/

Thinking about getting some girls underwear from Tesco. Lots of cute designs and may be good for wanking.

Can anyhone explain this shitty lockdown to me?

Like I have my grannies up town (Edinburgh) and I also wanna buy some booze on the way there tomorrow. Will the local Tescos/Newsagents be open as well as the shitty busses?

If a buy another monitor will it still arrive? I honestly don't know but I need one brehs

youre gonna kill your granny you munter

should be, you can only buy drink after 10am mind

You shouldn't be visiting your granny you fucking idiot. That's the last thing you should be doing. Stay at home

TOO MANY PEOPLE

GOING UNDERGROUND

TOO MANY PEOPLE
REACHING FOR A

PIECE OF COCK!

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your nan's gonna be dead in a month and all you care about is wanking your little willy? honestly, lad.

got no sugar left
about to drink tea with no sugar just milk
wish me luck

My life expectancy is only 30.

they're already dead and my willy is above average m8

>was feeling down today
>talked on the phone to the girl I've been getting to know for about an hour
>start feeling a lot better
>she needs to go to bed
>suddenly conversation gets kind of serious, tells me that she doesn't know if she'd ever want to meet me
>says that she's the one that does all the talking and I don't really ask her questions
>burning embarassment and shame wells up in my chest
>feel like I've ruined the friendship and a potential relationship
>tell her I feel like I've upset her
>she assures me that its actually ok

well guess this is the end. probably the only actual chance of happiness for me and I've gone and ruined it.

let's have a gander at your mighty todger then? i'm a girl so it's not gay btw

wait back up. how did you come into communication with this hooman?

OKCupid. got talking to her and actually feel comfortable and enjoy talking on the phone to her. But I'm not really the question asker kind of talker. I'm the passive introverted listener.

*whispers* you got a sexy ass body and your ass looks soft. mind if i touch so i can tell if its soft?

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Ate a munchybox to myself lads, think I have put myself into hepatorenal failure as a result

Are you going to shag nana?

she was kinda blunt but atleast she got it out the way. doubt it will work if she feels that way. cant force yourself to not be yourself. if it were meantto be you would be proper talkin to her and that. for the best lad.

phoar would love to shag nanna. bet shes proper filthy.

Nana let's you spunk in her no questions asked

I think she was just worried that if we met it'd be nothing but awkward silences cause I'm a NEET dork but I don't think it would.

30 pressups tonight, not many I know but day 1 I couldn't even do 10. We will go for 36 tomorrow

I was just about to sign up for this one but I don't know if I should. I'm starting to think this whole thing is overblown and will end in a month at most

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asl? pls tell me babe

would love to

youtube.com/watch?v=roE1PwsQepY
love this fool

>asl
>s
sex or gender? one of them may disappoint you.

So are we fucked then? I dont know what to think

yeah i love filthy girls but you know what they say: it takes two to tango; they dont call me brown finger for nothing, if you know what I mean.

W-what did you do to nana?

you haven't lived until you've finger banged nana's arsehole

Joker - King of Comedy rip off
You were never really here - Budget Taxi Driver

And Phoenix played the same character in both.

alri lads whats goin on in this thre....oh dear

What you nightlids up to? Me? I'm watching Markiplier's playthrough of Doom: Eternal on Youtube. Seems a pretty decent game tbqh. I wouldn't have the patience to play through the campaign but it's womfy watching someone else do it.

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>I'm watching Markiplier's playthrough of Doom: Eternal on Youtube. Seems a pretty decent game tbqh.

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twitter.com/chloehocking/status/1242401457032376321?

nice hot take, faggot

Don't be a unwomfy hater lid, I enjoy some of his playthroughs.

Both im bi hah

>What you nightlids up to?
fixin me virtual car again

youtu.be/LcF9RWrgcPg

>Don't be a unwomfy hater Iid, I enjoy some of his playthroughs.

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>Both im bi hah
many such cases

Just had cybersex with Plump on discord.

the crust on this bread is too hard, night = ruined

>call Samaritans and say you're literally going to kill someone but they basically tell you to go to bed

why do you pretend youre a chain smoking sleep deprived frog?

>Missed meating up with an old friend last week because I was too depressed on the day
>Now from be out he's got the chinaflu.
Being pathetic has its perks

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>I JUST FEEL LIKE IM GONNA SNAP YOU KNOW?!
>*gets sent to bed with no supper by the Samaritans*
Kek. Took them all of one phone call to realise you arent a threat

>meating up with an old friend
Is this gay slang for rubbing willies?

Buy your gran some food wearing gloves as it minimises her contact with the outside, then leave at her door to pick up

It's a king of comedy rip off the same way Moon is a home alone rip off