You're casually handed a soda at a party. Everyone looks at you with a smirk...

offer them a drink from it first. "age before beauty"

>would
wouldn't god damn

I doubt any of those pussies would butt in after I rip out Chad's eyeball

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How are you gonna do that, faggot

I don't know give me your address and you might find out pussy

The "Soda" is piss

This once happened to me
>be me
>sneak into party (because i never get invited to partys because autism. Still wanted to do anyway)
>get caught
>think that the whole party will gang up and beat the shit out of me until im left as a bloody, quivering pulp
>turns out, they welcome me
>one of the chads say "Wassup user, didn't expect to see you here!"
>i nervously say "Yeah, just looked like fun, so I decided to join in"
>around 15 minutes pass and one of the chads (not the previous one) offers me a drink
>i take the drink
>the whole crowd is watching me, i have no idea why
>i decide anyway to take a sip from the drink
>turns out
>it was fucking piss
>the whole party erupts into a thunderous laughter, blowing out my fucking eardrums in the process
>i was pissed
>i spit the piss out, but it accidentally hits one of the stacies
>the crowd goes silent
>they start staring at me like i commited a fucking war crime
>then they all charge at me
>i don't remember what happened after, but all i know was i was left with a bunch of broken bones, a bleeding mouth and i was left on the pavement (presumably to rot to death)
>i notice my phone was gone (probably got stolen), so i couldn't call anyone home or call the police or 911 or anything
>i managed to hobble my way home on one leg, almost dying in the process
Ever since that day, I refused to leave my house and I just stay there all day, masturbating, playing vidja and posting bullshit stories on Yas Forums

I once dosed a friend of mine with 4 tabs of acid put it in his soda at a party and watched him go insane it was the first time he ever did acid. It was hilarious

What's the thingiey on top of the Sprite can?

>throw soda in the air
>quickly unseethe my katana
>slash soda down the middle, distributing my force in such a way that the liquid only hits the people looking at me
>seethe my katana
>tip my fedora
>walk away

Just pour it on the carpet and casualty walk away with one fist in the air.

Meanwhile, in real life
>throw soda in the air
>thumble with the sheath of the katana
>soda drops and spills liquid everywhere
>finally gets katana out
>its too late
>soda is all over the floor
>everyone is fucking pissed
>you try to fight off everyone, but the first Chad punches you in the chest
>you drop your katana
>you're writhing in pain from the Chad's powerful punch colliding into your pathetic chest
>you almost choke up blood, lying on the floor in extreme pain while pissing your pants and crying
>the Chad calls the police on you for attempted assault and possesion of a weapon
>the police arrive
>they throw you in jail and then you get raped by Tyrone

Nice fanfiction, faggota.

don't ruin my fantasies user

thx, I worked hard on it. glad to see my work is paying off

just sip and if its piss drink it whats the worst that could happen?

and
It happened to me once. It won't fucking happen again. That moment fucking traumatised me and I still resent all my peers to this day because of it

>at a party
Like I get invited to parties, dumbass

Walk over to the punch bowl everyone was enjoying, and pour the 'sprite' in.

Just do what I did, sneak or break into one. What's the worst that could happen?

Then rightfully get kicked out of the party and hopefully get your shit pushed in by the chads

Why can't you make your fantasies a reality?
Oh wait, you already tried, but you're too autistic and genetically inferior to even do half the shit you fantasize about without completely falling on your ass in front of everyone
Don't worry, every school needs an autistic loser kid. You're not the only mistake made by God

>Everyone looks at you with a smirk, like you've finally wandered in to the jaws of a bear trap.
It means they shaked the can, so what I do is shaking it again and open it in the direction of the nearest guy.

Why do all of you suggest shit that'll get you beaten the shit out of by the whole party?
It's like you want to get almost killed and permanantly socially ostracized

Based.
If I'm in a party, I'll be too busy drinking booze to drink this.
And I only drink sealed bottles I opened myself.

>oh thanks man
>Walk off and set can down
>Drink a Corona with Lime because I have taste

I don't live in america. Parties in my country have people who actually want to have fun, fights starts only when all people are drunk. If someone not wanted enter the party police is called

>"Take a drink, user!" They chant in mockery.
>remember my master's parting words on his death bed
>"don't sip"
>remember my training
>clench my fist.
>walk away with my neck sticking out

>Corona with Lime because I have taste
Hahahahaha
What a loser!

All these are literally things that will set people off to fight you if you did them to them. It's not just an American thing
Would you like it if some short, fat, ugly, gigaautist threw a can of soda at you, just because you were more successful than him? What about the same autist throwing the soda in the air and getting soda all over the floor in the process? You'd be pretty pissed and you'd wanna beat the shit out of the little faggot

>he took katana story literally

>me
>at a party
*breathes in*
EUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH NOPE

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500
Better come prepared to get your ass kicked

Like the loser who posted it wouldn't unironically attemt to do such a "epic" and "badass" thing.
I know these kids like the back of my hand, and I used to bully the shit out of them at school. They would honestly try to act cool in front of the chads and impress girls by trying to do shit they saw in anime and failing miserably. They were also the most unathletic and socially awkward failures in the entire school, so if me and my friends weren't bullying them, other people were. Even a lot of the below-average normies poked fun at them on occasion
Seriously, if you were in my school, you would've had a good ol' chuckle at these autistic failures of human evolution

>taking that post seriously and actually trying to put him in his place on an anonymous pangolin breeding forum

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Yeah, it's a serious fucking post. I have a lot of experience with these kind of "people". Used to bully them all the time at school for funzies. They'd always have the most autistic reactions, they were like toddlers. They made me almost piss myself with laughter
Oh god, I miss bullying these kids

If you think that post was serious then I'm sorry to tell you, but I think you may be the one with autism.

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Nice one, almost fell for it.
>Oh god, I miss bullying these kids
was too much though

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Hearing you project your issues onto a successful chad like me is honestly so pathetic
Why can't you just socialise like a normal person with normal people, or do something productive with your life? Is it really that difficult for you faggots?

You really can never be sure who's baiting or who is a genuine autistic redditor these days, this board is a fucking mess

>successful chad like me
Not that lad mate, but autoproclaiming yourself as a Chad is the best way to make sure everyone knows you're not.

Bait doesn't mean "thing or person I don't like". Bait means a post made to trigger a reaction from someone. That's not my intention here, but it seems like I'm doing a good job of making you all seethe and piss your pants with spergrage

I don't need to proclaim myself as a chad, because everyone who even glances at me in real life already knows I'm a fucking chad with a huge megadick and the best genes in the world
Go cry your dick to sleep in hell

>haha i b8ed le Yas Forums, cant wait to post this on r/Yas Forums xD

>Implying I go on the "social media site" full of onionboys, "introverts" (read: r/aspergers users) and bernie supporters
I'm a popular, successful, rich, good-looking person, I would have nothing in common with the wastes of sperm who visit and use Reddit regularly. At least you faggots are funny to piss off

It's a shame all that reddit karma can't be used to pay for the healthcare needed to fix your latent autism

>casually handed a soda at a party.
what kind of gay ass party is this? I'll just drink what i brought with me, you bastards couldn't even give me a beer.

Reddit what now? Sorry, I don't go on Reddit, so I have no idea what you're talking about
Is Reddit Karma a way to make money off shitty Reddit posts or something?

Reddit is unironically infinitely better than Yas Forums though.
>user post porn on Yas Forums, deliberately omits to give the sauce
>reverse search have reddit as the first result
>page is full of download links and pictures
Don't know what I would do without reddit

i pull out my vodka and mix the two
duh

True, I guess Reddit would be better for permavirgins like you who're addicted to porn because they can't get a girlfriend or a one-night stand to fuck
Don't worry though, you will get a girlfriend one day. You just gotta be like me and not be a total failure at life