How do I get a gf? normies online tell me to talk to girls in public...

just add girls from Yas Forums on discord

""""friends"""""

Trust no one, fren

>Getting in to a friends circle should be priority number 1.
All the friend circles I could make would be nerds with nerdy hobbies. I do art, but the only art club in town is basically middle aged people and children. I don't see how any of these would lead to a girlfriend.

I've tried but both that I talked to ended up ghosting.

My friend group consists of mid 20s men who are all KHHV. If you are looking for a gf, you do need a friends group who have contact with women or women in it. It's almost a catch-22 but that is how everything is in life. I would recommend looking at martial arts or something like that, usually some girls or people who know girls there.
Or you can stay with your nerdy friends all of your life. Which is not a bad choice, I enjoy myself.

Yeah, where I live, martial art groups would be either children or super-shady men. (Football hooligans and such.)

Chad here. Listen to me, pal. Fix your own life first, get some interests or hobbies and pursue them. Live your life and focus on the good shit. Smoking weed and playing vidya does not count as an interest. Start reading or studying something. Chicks love men who read something intellectual. The point is to become interesting and independent. Chicks love a man who they can depend on. Have your own life and do your own thing first. Fix your looks. Get a good haircut that fits your face. Be realistic what type of haircut and clothing fit you. Some men do the mistake they go for what's popular (the Hitler Jugend cut) when it doesn't fit them. Don't do that.
Start doing some basic exercises. Do push ups, squats and dips. Eat healthy. Go out for walks, go read in library, go to coffee shops. You need to be out there with other human beans. Don't lock yourself in your room. Try to make friends or something. It's easier to meet wimmin when you have some kind of social circle. Cold approach doesn't work.

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>Fix your own life first, get some interests or hobbies and pursue them.
I have. I've gotten so good at them I can get money out of them. It hasn't changed a thing about my social life.

>Chicks love men who read something intellectual.
I have read a ton of intellectual stuff as a part of my degree. It hasn't changed a thing.

>Fix your looks. Get a good haircut that fits your face.
Both of those are done. Nothing has changed.

>Start doing some basic exercises. Do push ups, squats and dips. Eat healthy.
I do all of that and more. No difference.

>Go out for walks, go read in library, go to coffee shops.
What do you say I do at these places? Because I've tried cold approach and, like you say, it doesn't work.

Nerdy friends with nerdy hobbies are better than no friends with no hobbies. Plus, you're forgetting how many girls have nerdy interests nowadays. But regardless, having A friend circle is better than nothing. Imagine you're in a pub and you want to start chatting to a woman. It'll be significantly easier if you're already there with friends, having a fun time over drinks, then if you're alone and clearly there to hit on women. Like, you can still go out with friends TO hit on girls, people do it all the time with clubbing, but at least with others you have a fall-back plan and an excuse why you're there.

I don't think anybody in my local Warhammer 40k club or amateur radio club bothers going to pubs. I don't think I would even find any woman I could relate to at a club or a pub. And yes, I've been to clubs before, I didn't like the experience at all.

>Plus, you're forgetting how many girls have nerdy interests nowadays.
You will most likely find those in big cities. I haven't seen any in the town I am in.

Do you have any friends? Do you go to parties? Do you understand human contact? You can't expect a girl to like you when you cold approach them. It's too much burden for them. You have to understand that when you cold approach someone it comes as a complete surprise for them and they most likely did not expect that. There is nothing they can do correctly in that situation except reject you kindly. You have to first get to know them a little bit. Not in a romantic or sexual way. It's easier to do if you have friends or go to parties or something and meet women there. You need something in common and talk about something. There needs to be some setting where you meet the girls.
Try to think some setting. Language classes, dancing classes, some hobby or sport or something.

You'd be shocked, my nerdy friends pretty much all drink like horses. Plus the pub is a nerd version of a club anyway. Not an insult, I hate clubs and love pubs.
You obviously know your friends better than me, but I'm saying that there are plenty of nerds who enjoy going out, so if you're merely assuming that they don't go drinking, you might be wrong.

What about dating sites? Have you tried those out? Tinder isn't for everyone, so I'd advise giving the other ones a go as well.

>Do you have any friends?
Kind of. Both live far away.
>Do you go to parties?
Wouldn't know where. Party culture seems to really not be a thing in my country, or at least not in the less metropolitan parts.
>Do you understand human contact?
What do you mean by this? What's there to understand?
>You have to understand that when you cold approach someone it comes as a complete surprise for them and they most likely did not expect that.
I know this, I just did this because I'm intent on testing every piece of advice I get that doesn't break the law.
I'm wary of trying sports or dancing due to having extremely poor physical coordination. I don't just mean clumsy, I mean skin scraped off with gravel level of bad.

>normies online tell me to talk to girls in public

You should talk to girls, but only in appropriate situations where its acceptable. Just talking to some stranger on the street is weirdand creepy.You talk to girls in situations like this for example:

-superficial aquaintances, like coworkers, people you share courses with in uni, etc
-use appropriate situations to start conversations, eg waiting in line and someones like dropping something and you hand it back to them, you're stuck waiting because your trains delayed etc
-only start conversations when the other party seems open to conversation(eg they smile at you, drop some comment about something, help you out with something etc). If someones looking at their phone the whole time they likely aren't open for conversation.

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you forgot about the first step, because you seem angry about nogf
>Live your life and focus on the good shit.

Look you just need to be more social somehow, as in be around women for them to see and talk to, like a bar or some shit. Its all good what you doing but doesn't really matter if you not hitting up women one way or another. Your efforts are general basics..it DOES help once a woman has taken interest in you, then you have something to talk about, something to work with.

If you start feeling down from nogf , go back to the first step.Change your clothes, do different hobbies,go places. You maybe desperate but try not to act it.

t: brad

Thanks. For what it's worth, I don't intend on staying in this town for long, I'm looking to move abroad this year. Even if I fail, I will have tried.

Normies aren't just telling you to talk to them in public, they're omitting a crucial detail that most robots can't seem to wrap their head around since it's typically implied. The implication is that you should go to areas where it is _socially acceptable_ to talk to women (or strangers) aka bars. The huge trick here is to desire nothing from them when engaging with them initially since your charisma stats are low. By desiring nothing from them, at least initially, you can skill grind your speech without any dependency upon the outcome of the exchange. Eventually, they will start approaching you because your demeanor will be that of cool, calm, and collected. The biggest caveat here is that if you don't live in a large city, this is incredibly difficult.
Don't bother them while they're working.

>Still though, there is never any input on their part. They just don't make it easy for me to chat with them.

Try this thought model:
* Chicks are slow to get warmed up, don't expect them to love or even like you at first sight.
* Chicks like stability. If you start pursuing or liking a chick and then suddenly drop or hate her the second she shows some resistance or apathy, that makes her feel very unsafe like you are unstable and your feelings don't have weight behind them.
* If a chick doesn't actively say "no" or actively avoid you, it means keep going I want to see more.
* Chicks like to be neutral and have plausible deniability and not have responsibility and have someone else make their choices for them - give them what they want by being comfortable being the one that likes them first and the one that's showing off for their approval.
* When you are tired of dancing and think she should be impressed now, don't slink off silently if she didn't get down on one knee and confess her undying love for you, take the risk and "ask her out" by escalating the situation. In an online chat, that would mean setting up a date. If you're on a date already, that would mean going for a hand hold or a kiss. If you've done that already, do something more.

>They do seem to want it though. They keep looking at me while they work.
"Men initiate, women invite."
Point: By "want it", that doesn't mean a woman wants to fuck you like a man would at first sight, it means she wants to see what you got, as above.

>women want nothing to do with me
Act on your want, not theirs.
Also, women want care in the form of attention and provisions. Offer/display it to entice them, but don't give it up if they don't put out for you.

>but both that I talked to ended up ghosting
Welcome to the club fren. Love is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep going!

>it doesn't work.
Clarify: Did you ask her number and she refused?

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>Clarify: Did you ask her number and she refused?
No, I got her number. A day before we were supposed to meet again, she gave me an excuse, telling me she would try messaging me back when she's able. She never did.

>Cold approach doesn't work.
I'm not even Chad and cold approach has worked for me 100% of the time. It's never blown up in my face, ever. Nowadays, I don't even approach anymore. I'm the one that's approached. Are you sure you're Chad? If you were, you'd definitely have the same level of success as me.

this format was the only truly helpful post.
an explicit rule followed by multiple in depth examples is immensely valuble

>I'm the one that's approached.
To get approached, you have to invite. How do you invite?

>She never did.
Ping her again, and/or move on to the next.
Think in her shoes, she probably forgot who you were or had second doubts or even got approached by someone else and sidetracked. Remind her who you were, show off that same energy you had that got her number. Or, if she's not worth it, put all that same energy into a new one.

Model the interaction after other unequal power dynamics like students competing for a professor's attention; applicants competing for a single opening; companies competing for a star employee; advertising competing for a customer. Have your brand consistent and keep repeating it and reminding them of it and reinserting yourself to the head of their attention queue.

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Then she changed her mind about wanting to see you. Don't take it personally, things like this happen, just move onto the next girl. Dating is about getting rejected by a ton of girls just to have one say "yes" to you.

Even if this is true, this is anecdotal evidence at best. My girlfriend approached me and initiated the relationship herself, so it happens from time to time. However, if I'm trying to find myself a gf, I'm not going to try and wait for girls to come to me.

I think the logic is that if you're being approached by 5/10s, then there's probably some 7/10s out there that wouldn't mind dating me, but don't like me enough to approach me. Why settle for something when you can try a little bit and potentially get something better.

>they're omitting a crucial detail that most robots can't seem to wrap their head around since it's typically implied
this has been a major issue in seeking advice. thank you both for stressing the unspoken details and making them understandable

>To get approached, you have to invite. How do you invite?
As much as it sounds like a meme, I just smile.
Most of the girls that approach are typically 7/10 or higher. There are some stray 5/10s, but they're typically mean and I don't really like being around people that just talk shit on others. Average looking women are usually the meanest women there are.
No problem. It really bothers me when normals give advice because they assume that you're looking at it from their perspective so they casually omit quite a bit of stuff that causes people like robots to inadvertently shoot themselves in the foot because they just took the information at face value.

>Remind her who you were
I did send her a text a few days later, but no response. Felt like it didn't make sense to keep asking.
>Or, if she's not worth it, put all that same energy into a new one.
Meeting her was completely accidental. I rarely ever see anyone my age around when I go out anyways. When I do, they usually are already going somewhere and don't have time to talk.

>Have your brand consistent and keep repeating it and reminding them of it and reinserting yourself to the head of their attention queue.
This sounds extremely fake and not how I would want anyone to treat me. I can't see basing a genuine relationship on marketing mindgames.

>Don't take it personally, things like this happen, just move onto the next girl. Dating is about getting rejected by a ton of girls just to have one say "yes" to you.
I don't take it personally, I'm used to this. The problem is that where I live, the pool of potential girlfriends is very small (like I said, hardly come across people my age), so in the probabilistic approach, the probability is not on my side.

Thanks for the advice. Is there a way to smile that doesn't look fake even though I don't have a reason to smile?

Well it does sound like you are doing everything right. Self-improvement + being the leader. If there is something dreadfully wrong with you that makes no woman like you you probably already know what it is and haven't mentioned it. Otherwise I'm leaning towards the lack of numbers explanation that you gave.

OkCupid? Bumble? meetup.com (for activites)? Expand radius and go for ldr?

>smile
The reason to smile is _her_, the one you are looking at. :)

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Ah, I see the problem. I've only ever lived in cities or uni towns where everyone is my age. Probabilistic dating is a time-efficient way of finding a girl, but requires you to go through a lot of people. For smaller towns, I might recommend getting some friends and essentially hoping that one of those friends has a single person friend as well. It's more time-consuming and isn't guaranteed to work, but it can be done with smaller groups of people.

Smile if you make eye contact. It just says "you're cute, so I'm smiling because of it". Like, imagine if a girl smiles at you. Does that smile look fake? Why would they smile if they didn't like you, you know?

But yeah, most important thing is too keep trying. You might have mixed success at times, but you're already doing better than every person who has given up.

>Is there a way to smile that doesn't look fake even though I don't have a reason to smile?
It's pretty autistic of me, but I mainly smile because I think about incredibly stupid stuff to myself. I often find myself holding back laughter and whenever anyone catches me doing this, they smile back. Laughter is contagious, so are smiles.

Stop going on Yas Forums for a year or two. You've likely been here during a lot of your social development. It infects your brain with toxic ideas about women and dating. It hurts your self worth and makes you resent women.

Don't get into pickup artistry either. No one on the onternet can teach you how to socialize in real life. You have to get out and do it, you have to learn from success and failure.

Make friends, make platonic friendships with girls. Don't make getting a gf your only priority.

You wont have immedite results but over time your brain will recover from Yas Forums. Within at most 2 years you'll become a normie but likely in less time than that.

Also there are dating sites.

>If there is something dreadfully wrong with you that makes no woman like you you probably already know what it is and haven't mentioned it.
I'm on the autistic spectrum, but like you said, the numbers don't help.

>OkCupid? Bumble? meetup.com (for activites)? Expand radius and go for ldr?
There's literally nobody in my vicinity (50 miles) on OKCupid.
Haven't tried Bumble, but given OKCupid results, I wouldn't be hopeful.
The nearest meetup is more than 50 miles away, and it's for some software development stuff.
>Expand radius and go for ldr?
Where do I look for LDRs? I've been chatting with women from r9k, but they eventually ghost.

>The reason to smile is _her_, the one you are looking at. :)
Believe me, this is harder than it seems, at least for me.

I'll try going to a coffee shop this week.
Also, do you have any throwaway email to ask you for more ideas after this thread gets archived?

This exactly. I'll see them check me out, or take pics of me at the gym, but they won't fucking talk to me like a normal human being even when I initiate conversation and give them obvious discussion points.

Yeah Yas Forums has a heavy "crabs in a bucket" mentality, where nearly no-one is happy and they don't want others to be either. If you can leave this place, I'd heavily advise it, any good advice you can find here can be found elsewhere with a lot less shit attached to it.

>Why would they smile if they didn't like you, you know?
It is often a reaction, not necessarily an indication of interest.

Actually based advice. Wow, namefag, good job on this one. Really cool.

sounds like you need farmers only dotcom lol

I mean it could be, but you have to hope for the best and go for the chances you can. It's all too easy to brush off any signs and signals as something else, so you have to assume that it's the good option. Even if you're wrong 99 times but right once, it's better than assuming that all 100 times were something else and missing out on that one time.

It's like in gaming, if you're losing, you have to play to your outs and hope to win. You can't just play scared, cause you'll just slowly lose the game.

Don't be so entitled nigger

Thanks, a broken watch is right twice a day :)

>It is often a reaction, not necessarily an indication of interest.
Or, it's an indication of interest but not attraction. As in I want to see more of what this thing is, but that doesn't mean I like it necessarily. (But sometimes, if it makes a continued good impression, I might!)

>but they won't fucking talk to me like a normal human being even when I initiate conversation and give them obvious discussion points.
Without objective details it's hard to tell if this a true issue you are facing or just the standard way flirting works. A flirty conversation is typically much less formal than "discussion points" and the standards of "normal human being" are a bit different. The push/pull is a lot more playful, you give "baits/lures" less than discussion points or you playfully chase/tease their own baits/lures if they don't go for yours.

>I'm on the autistic spectrum
Who isn't?
>Where do I look for LDRs?
I got all mine from dating sites infinite radius. Also some from foreign social networks e.g. qq is China's skype. You can seed the search with language exchange.
>Believe me, this is harder than it seems, at least for me.
You can instead wave, or say "Hi how are you", or any other "inviting/welcoming" signal that is comfortable for you to replace smiling.
>throwaway email
My name at protonmail is but I never check it.
My discord is in name.
I am in omegle text chat tag r9k-throwaway for now if want to live chat a bit now.

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God some chick told me today shes attracted to me and wants to date. I started chatting her up via text and now regretting it since I struggle to talk to her in person due to anxiety. Fuck me.

Wasnt intended to be defeatist, but to not stress it as a variable for any truly socially inexperienced robots.
>Its like in gaming
Depends on the feedback loops of the particular game as afk, dropping, or playing to lose could be better, but I'm just being pedantic.

Communicate that via text. Just tell her that you have difficulty communicating in a face-to-face setting sometimes and you're not being terse. Communication goes a long way, my dude.

>>I'm on the autistic spectrum
>Who isn't?
Majority of the human population.

>I got all mine from dating sites infinite radius. Also some from foreign social networks e.g. qq is China's skype. You can seed the search with language exchange.
Will look into that. What do you think about sites/apps like Hello Talk or Interpals?
>You can instead wave, or say "Hi how are you", or any other "inviting/welcoming" signal that is comfortable for you to replace smiling.
None of these sound comfortable, so I guess I'll just pick one at random.

Thanks for all the advice so far.

I did mention that sometimes I get nervous, she just said something like don't be nervous so I left it at that. I will be seeing her tomorrow and hope it goes well but am doubtful.

If you find out, let me know. If a woman ever has been interested in it I've never noticed and I don't want to make a move on someone who hasn't expressed interest in me.

>I don't want to make a move on someone who hasn't expressed interest in me.
from what ive read, that's exactly what the women are thinking so men to slowly explore. never done it, just what ive read

I'm on the autistic spectrum too, pretty much all of my friends are maths grads so they're all somewhere on the spectrum. It makes things a bit harder, but I don't have a problem with women when I just tell them that I'm trash at picking up signals, and they have to be blunt and upfront about things they say to me. Obviously you need to be able to take that blunt responses you get, because if you start punishing them for being honest to you, they'll stop doing that and you'll have fucked yourself over completely.

>pic
bullshit to the max

>humor
just means laughs at MY humor and is a bare minimum, not a multiplier that could save bad looks. according to the formula a woman would be attractive by having lots of intelligence and humor. this is simply not true. 1/10 looks TIMES (int + hum) would turn into 7 if int and hum sum up to 7 which shouldn't be that hard. the person who made this doesn't understand basic math or wants to deceive women about what men find attractive.

>1/10 looks TIMES (int + hum) would turn into 7 if int and hum sum up to 7 which shouldn't be that hard. the person who made this doesn't understand basic math
The variables are in the [0;1] range.

I do have friends, but we have a very one-to-one relationship. I don't know their friends and my friends don't know each other. It's just that usually the friends of my friends don't interest me that much. Maybe that's the problem.

Keep in mind that the scale is much larger too, so someone with all those stats maxed out would have 1000. Or, to put it this way, comparing them, you have a 0.7/10 and 10/10.
You're misinterpreting the picture, friend.

You guys type is always the same au naturale underage looking Stacies. Not only do you demand Stacy but you also demand that she look like a Stacy naturally without any makeup. You fail to realize that these girls only fuck Chad and really you deserve to chase after these elusive Stacies who toy with and ghost you because the fact that they will never date you is deeply amusing. Serves you right for being so shallow.

>conversation is typically much less formal than "discussion points"
No shit Sherlock. It's not like we're debating the finer points of rocket dynamics. I'm just throwing out small talk, jokes, and every day banter. This used to get me loads of bitches in the big cities and with foreign girls (even with their shit English skills). It's these young girls. They're all autistic femcels.
>Chicks like to be neutral and have plausible deniability and not have responsibility
I sincerely hope none of you dumbasses fell for this. I've seen lots of guys get in trouble for sexual harassment for flirting with girls when they left no positive or negative signals. They went from 0 to 60 in exactly .1 fuck you seconds(FYS). Plausible deniability for females is a luxury. For men, a necessity.

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okay, in that case men's score goes up to 4 while women's can reach 2. that's already retarded. now let's do the math for a beautiful woman:
0.9 looks * (0.4 int + 0.3 humor) = 0.9 * 0.7 = 0.63
and that's .63 out of 2, not out of 1. so an extremely stunning looking woman would land below average just by having the mediocre personality.

these chicks are what a movie Lara Croft should have looked like, minus the terrible posture.