I want to kill myself. What are some methods which are quick and wont cause any commotion?

Hold your breath until your brain shuts down from oxygen deprivation.

Try licking a Chinese man, or an Italian.

Then don't kill yourself, retard.
Just wait for natural death.

DUDE , this is actualy the best idea ever , i love it , rly .

Ask a mommy to sit on your face and not let you up until you're fully dead.

Or maybe dont give me retarded advice on purpose so you can prove a retarded point

Buy some sodium nitrite and an antiemetic like metoclopramide.

Attached: sodium nitrite.jpg (4032x1908, 1.3M)

Buy a tank of an inert gas like nitrogen or argon, and asphyxiate yourself using a suicide bag. Don't use helium though, since it is mixed with oxygen.

Suicide is retarded. My advice is dont do it. But if you still want to, it's your life.

Wanting to continue living in this shitty existence is retarded.

>suicide is retarded
Fuck off. You dont know my life or my reasons, all you care about is looking cool and having a moral high ground

If you have a car, just seal up the windows real good, and put a hose or other flexible tube in the exhaust pipe and then put the other end inside the car. Seal the rest of the opening. You'll pass out and won't feel a thing.
Alternatively, if you don't have a car, the long drop hanging is an option. You make a noose, and make sure the knot is snug around your throat so that it won't go over your chin. Then, you have to fall straight down some distance. The exact distance needed depends on your weight, but 3 meters should be enough. The sudden tug as you run out of rope will pinch and break your spinal cord or something and instantly knock you out, and then you will painlessly choke to death.
I think by law I am required to discourage you from doing any of this, so: please don't do anything stupid and really carefully consider what you're doing.

You're here posting on Yas Forums in what seems to be native English which means you have it better than most of the world by default.

Except I'm an orphan, I'm severely mentally and physically ill, I have no friends or anyone who loves me and i cant afford education and i have been abused, molested, raped multiple times. But go ahead, judge my entire life and tell me how I'm so selfish and stupid for wanting to kill myself. Just fuck off

>Assuming death will make everything better for you

That's a leap of faith, if there was ever one

I dont care about things getting better and I know they wont. I just want to end my life so I can finally stop feeling pain

What if it's true there's an afterlife?
What if?
Huge gamble

Then god is probably a sadistic maniac. "Perfect creation" my ass, if this is the best hod can come up with then he sucks. And Jesus is a fucking child murderer, he killed thousands of newborns in Egypt for no reason even though he could've freed those prisoners if he wanted to. If I'm going to hell for killing myself then so be it, I'm not going to worship a maniac who kills infants

Just live to be really old
If you look at all of time 70-90 years is basically nothing, so relatively speaking its quick

Then why not fight and rage against everything? If you are convinced you have been victimized, what sense it makes to kill yourself, making you a victim of yourself? It's like rubbing salt in an open wound, it's idiotic if not masochistic.
You should redirect your anger outwards, against the forces that have wronged you. So what if you lose? Would you father die a rebel or die a whimpering bitch. I think of kamikaze pilots

>father

Typo: meant *rather*

order $30 of fent off of the internet. Use all of it at once. Guaranteed euphoric clean death.

Not OP. What would happen if I just took a knife and stabbed it in my chest.

not op but who cares about honor or pride or dying in a dignified way when you're suicidal? there's no ego left to defend. there's no way to die early and look cool doing it even if kamikaze, it's fucking death not an action movie

I guess it comes down to subjective feelings, since it doesn't matter one way or another. Of course you could just accept the injustice and do nothing except crawl into a hole and die. Some people are ok with that. Whatever

I dont want to cause even more pain, especially to people who dont deserve it. I'm not going to go on a spree and kill innocent people for no reason, stop trying to manipulate me so you can humour yourself

it would be very painful

of course this wasn't original

Then why wouldn't you kill the people who actually hurt you? You think they will feel bad when they find out you off'd yourself? More likely they will feel some satisfaction at your demise. Whatever user, it's your decision. You made a thread asking for advice, I gave mine.

if you come up with something good let me know. i just don't want to scar anyone by having them find my body. and i don't want it to be painful. honestly if my parents weren't still alive i would have done it ages ago. any time i hear about someone i know killing themselves i kind of obsess over it because i secretly want it to happen to me

Would that not just make me as bad as them? And how am I supposed to get back at them exactly? Both of my parents died from being bombed by Jews.

is it possible to hang yourself with a belt

>Would that not just make me as bad as them?

What difference it makes if you want to kill yourself anyway?

Because even though I hate the kikes who bombed my parents neighbourhood, they probably married and have families of their own. I would be killing someone's parents, without knowing. I would be causing pain to someone innocent for no reason.

just fucking ignore this nigger they are larping you know damn well how to kill yourself and if you really don't then you really are an even bigger retard nigger than I could even imagine. You just want attention or some random faggot to care for you on piece of shit image board.. you want attention guess what it's all worthless learn to create your own meaning and care for your self or just google how to neck

It's lamentable that people with a horrible, miserable existence have no easy, clean way of offing themselves. In any morally just nation, suicide clinics which offer quick, cheap and painless deaths while also optionally offering to destroy the corpse (to prevent decomposition) would be running full-swing for anyone who desires it.

I don't live in a country where suicide clinics exist.
I don't care about your attention or your pity, I just want an actual way to kill myself. No I don't have access to a gun, no I can't hang myself, no I don't have a car. Your post does not affect me in the slightest, and your attention is worthless to me.

>I don't live in a country where suicide clinics exist.
No country exists where the suicide clinics I proposed are legal and available, it's merely a hypothetical that "should be" and the fact they do not exist with the policies I stipulated is inexcusable.

you're lying to yourself you stupid nigger get off the fucking bored no one cares

I can think of like 50 ways to kill myself 100% and I'm not even suicidal are you fucking retarded or a pussy?

You can stop replying and bumping my thread any time, retard.
Euthanasia and assisted medical suicide does exist, but sadly I don't live in a country where it's allowed.

Or maybe I live in an environment which makes it impossible for me to kill myself, but I can see how that flew over your undeveloped brain.

Don't do it mate and don't come here for advice, sick people here will push you further. Leave this website and go study something, you'll feel a sense of worth.

I'll give you some examples if you're clueless
>Welding
>Writing
>Mechanics
>Robotics
>Programming
>Drawing
>Singing
>Acting
>Dancing
>Cooking

we only have a short, fleeting time here OP. Until we figure out immortality, we all will eventually die. No need to rush it. Just make the best of what you have. Even a shitty, miserable horrible existence is a beautiful gift, better than never having been alive at all.

I truly hope you find happiness and peace and are able to have a cozy/warm, or exciting/eventful weekend. If there's nobody in your life who cares about you, you're free and can do anything in the world and make any choice you want. If there are people, live for them. If that's too much responsibility for you, do the former and they'll be happy anyway.

Stay strong OP

t. 24 year old(fag) who's tired of seeing this

I've been down bad man, real fucking bad and I still suffer from mental health issues to this day but we can make some good out of it. You'll be proud if you did and I'm sure there's someone else in this world who will be too. I know I will be if you can make it out of this.

>Euthanasia and assisted medical suicide does exist
True, but not with all the freedoms I stipulated, as I've said prior. They're restrictive, riddled in forms and legalities, not readily available to anyone not suffering from severe "mental" and physical disabilities and often only available for the elderly. I was proposing open-minded and variable suicide clinics where society doesn't decide for you.

it's only impossible to you because your a fucking retard LMAO

Sure dude, keep bumping my thread and only proving further how much of an utter moron you are.
I don't have money dude, I can't do any of these things.

>your
>LMAO
>calling someone else retarded

To be fair though, you're right. If someone really wanted to, it's impossibly simply. Which means that OP still has a little bit of hope left and should take it and develop it into more hope and become a happy, healthy human being.
maybe take an objective look at yourself friendo

youtube.com/watch?v=eKmKLZOAT38

>no money
ah but that's the thing, you have the internet.
I'm in severe debt and have no job atm but I'm still learning things right now. There's a million courses and textbooks and free materials all over the internet to learn anything to your liking

If you're broke like me, some of those are off the table, but you can still learn to program. Why don't you close this thread, and go find an intro to programming video on youtube for a language of your choice? With enough programming knowledge you can do anything. And all you need is a shitty computer.

As a matter of fact, I've said what I needed to say and I'm not making the best use of my time by being on Yas Forums, so I will do the same right now.

I live in an orphanage and I'm using the orphanage's computer which they mainly use to study and talk to people online. I get limited time outside for like 3 hours, then come back again. Stop self inserting your own projections and judgements about my life, if you're curious why I can't do something, just fucking ask like a normal person.

yeah you right im just drunk and desu I've posted suicide threads here before I think the point of being mean is to get someone to be honest like come on dude you don't want to know how to neck you know how... why not spend your time figuring something out instead of wallowing about shit on Yas Forums

Enlighten me then, since you obviously seem to have all the answers.

dubs checked and op i'm gonna go but seriously chin up buddy, we're living in an amazing world during amazing times. make it up out of that orphanage and be the success story the other kids can look up to someday. The guy who made it out and did something awesome. You can do it my d00d. Sorry for not being able to stay and talk longer but, I wish you the best of luck.

i see

nah im dumb as shit and hate myself too it's just that I know asking niggers on Yas Forums for advice is a waste of time, the only reason I bump your thread is because ive been there before and the assholes made me realize I needed to stop asking and just try shit just try anything

just jump off a bridge or something, shouldnt be that fucking hard

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>just try anything
Like what? No really, give me an example. I tried dude, I fucking tried, I studied as hard as I could but I couldn't pay the fees for my exams. I tried to find a girlfriend, but she just kept abusing me and thinking I was cheating on her (I wasn't) and she left me even worse. I keep trying but nothing ever happens. Why should I stay alive and just suffer even more just so you can feel good about yourself when I want to just end it now?

you misunderstand my motives then I don't feel good about myself. I feel bad for you. I know you don't actually want to die because if you did you could easily figure it out. You don't need the girl. You just need more time, plenty of people fail and get shit on for decades before they find a way to be happy. I would try waiting until you can get a simple job and find a way to save some money, work as much as you can to keep your mind off things until you can afford the exams

>I know you don't actually want to die
Can you stop? I attempted suicide 5 times, both were fatal but I was saved in all 5 times BECAUSE I LIVE IN A FUCKING ORPHANAGE RETARD. I had haemodialysis done on me, I've been given meds. I'm not fucking attention whoring, stop treating me like I want to suck your dick so bad and want your attention, I don't fucking care.