QTDDTOT - "Is Masturbation Cardio?" edition

My 5 rep max for bench is 72kg. I just can't fucking do 5 73kg reps no matter what. Once I did 4 reps and that's it. I tried like 6 times already in the past 6 weeks. How do I beat bench plateau? Any assiastance exercises for bench press you guys recommend?

A 1kg difference over six weeks is literally nothing. It’s completely mental. You need to stop being afraid, get a spotter if you can, and just go at it 100%

>Muh $300
Bruh just got this bar for $10 it's medium sized and all My corridors are Big had to compensate with books

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I don't live in the UK, but if you're referring to Corona: Corona gets transmitted through contact with other humans. So stay away from other humans. Check the news to see if there is a quarantine/curfew in your county.

lol thanks bro. I just tried it again with my mom as a spotter and did it. Last rep was hard as fuck.

Where did you get it? I have to return a doorframe bar I got yesterday because all my doorframes are too thin.

Is there any truth behind the onions meme?

How much water do you drink? Kidney stones?

What are some macros for a clean/dirty bulk

How much time should a beginner take to rest after working one part of the body (arms, legs, etc)

Is muscle milk the spawn of satan?

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Do I really need to try and stay bulky and eat like a maniac to gain muscle mass if I already have a bit of fat on me? I'm nowhere lean enough that my abs are showing but I've leaned out everywhere else as I progressed.

I try to consume the protein intake mentioned in the sticky but other than that I'm not really eating any different than what I usually eat.

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Not in Birmingham but generally yeah

I fast on black coffee/green tea from Sunday night to Friday night every week. If you want to go longer you need to put potassium, sodium and magnesium in your water. Don't start with a five day fast, start with one day. Do not refeed like a retard. This is especially true if you are losing weight. Keep it to meat, eggs, dairy. My refeed was always something that I was fussy about (liver, kidneys, fish) because after five days, all fussiness vanishes.

If you dont understand the benefits of bulking, you havent eaten enough

I wouldnt overthink it, do what is more comfortable

try doing a 80kg 1rep max, try lower weight for reps next time

onions are healthy and most people dont eat enough vegetables but they arent steroids. anyway you should eat them because they are tasty, antibacterial and dirt cheap

2-3 litres of water a day but I eat soup everyday so its much more natural

dude just google the macros

rest for as long as you need to make progress, beginners regenerate really fast after the initial start and being sore from not working out before

dunno about the muscle milk, just dont overpay on supplements

the more advanced you are the better your diet need to be. Beginners and fat people can build muscle on a small calorie deficit but the further you go the more you should care about your calories. Some people have self regulating apetite and will eat basically what their body needs but most will undereat or overeat.

How to make rear delt gains? Flys and facepulls? Should I treat them the way I treat my side delts (stupid high volume at lowish weight)?

A sport items shop called Sparta, sells a Big bunch of stuff also bought a 26kg kettlebell

Any good core/ab exercises that i can do weighted? My doctor said i need to work out my core more but he only told me about bodyweight exercises.

Are programs like SS and SL5×5 actually good for beginner strength and mass gains? I'm doing 5×5 and it feels like I'm not doing a whole lot, especially nothing on weekends?

Fantastic beginner programs because they keep it simple for dumbass beginners. The exercises they choose are excellent for building a foundation of strength that you can then dive off into a hypertrophy program and focus on individual muscles instead of large compounds.

That makes sense. I was floundering about with programs as a beginner for the past few months, mainly because I only really cared about hypertrophy. However, I'm very weak so doing a basic SL5×5 program should help in the long term anyway. I was pushing myself a lot with the things I did, but not so much pushing how heavy I was lifting, so it doesn't feel like too much right now. What are the chances you think of achieving any newbie gains on 5×5 out of curiosity?

Fellas i fucked up a landing and now my back and body is "bent" hy upper hip area is like bent towards the left and i can't get 100% straight, and my back is fucked and hurts walking. I was thinking i maybe dislocated something, but i heard that that would hurt immencely, whereas i am okay if i don't do sporatic movements. What the fuck happened to me, and do i need to go see a doctor? I don't want to be fucking bent and assymetrical bros..

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Not the guy you are replying to but you will get amazing gains out of SL 5x5. It might just be something bout my body but the only thing that has disappointed me is that I thought my legs would be much, much bigger due to the amount of squatting. I've been doing it now since September and I've added in pull ups, shrugs and loads of dumbell accessory work.

Why does my stomach hurt a lot when I'm stressed? It's not even my stomach, it's like sharp pain in my pelvis

Great to hear, thank you! I'm really hoping it helps me develop my chest and core a good bit.

Have the opportunity to potentially train at a small basement gym within my city. Friend of mine is offering me a ride to and fro. Trudeau just issued a message to the Socialist People's Republic of Canada that all Canadians must remain at home. Do I risk it bros?

I was hoping that too but for some reason it was my delts that blew up (not that I'm complaining). Get your form perfect while the weights are low - it's easier than you think to fuck up your body on a squat.

no, i dont think this urine thing is a troll, some ppl say urine replenish electrolytes, so thats why asked about it

Can i gain mass doing these bodyweight exercises to failure on a deficit if i am fat?

Pushups
Pike pushups
bench dips
plank
Inverted row
Squat

Is the pain localized to any specific area? Had something similar happen to me playing rugby, got dump tackled awkwardly landing on my lower back and heard a discernible "pop" and knew right away that it was likely my SI joint. Pain was enough to be noticeable, but continued playing. Talked to athletic therapist afterwards, described similar to what you've described, and he left it for 48 hours to make sure that it was indeed the SI. Once he was 99% sure it was just a simple readjustment by basically yanking my leg unexpectedly from my hip. Felt wonky for 24-48 hours, but was good to go after that.

Go see an athletic therapist STAT, and in the meantime alleviate any pain with naproxen.

Friend has a pretty old barbell, but still in working condition, and enough weights to meet my working weights and then some. However, he doesn't have a rack. What are the best exercises given this? Deadlifts, rows, and OHP are obvious. Maybe hack squats? No idea what to do for chest.

>Can i gain mass doing these bodyweight exercises to failure on a deficit if i am fat?
Yes. You will gain a fuckton of lean mass IF you are doing a structured program. Make sure that your deficit includes at least 120g of protein.

Yes and no.

Most research has concluded that a caloric surplus of 250-1000kcal/day is correlated to increased anabolism in the presence of a sport-specific or hypertrophic stimulus (i.e. training).

Most research correlates an increased surplus beyond 500kcal/day with diminishing returns in terms of fat free mass gain and fat mass gain (beyond 500kcal/day the amount of fat you're gaining may be greater than muscle).

Thus the onus is to aim for around 500kcal/day, prioritize protein intake (5-6 meals consisting of 30-35g of protein) that are well balanced with an adequate amount of carbohydrate and fats depending on goals.

A calorie is a calorie, but not all calories are necessarily equal. In a surplus you can afford to eat less nutrient dense foods because you're likely covering all your bases anyway in a surplus. Nevertheless, there are numerous studies that correlate a higher protein consumption with increased body composition when compared to diets of equal caloric composition with different macronutrient distribution.

I see. Thank you for this. I was starting to worry a bit. I'll go see someone tomorrow. Did it hurt when he yanked on it?

i'm lucky enough to have begun growing again at 19. what can i do to maximize my height gains? do i need to maintain a caloric surplus?

it's just genetics man. If you're eating healthy that's all there is to it.

If my weight changes very rapidly(i can gain or lose 10lbs in a week based on what I eat), can i alternate weeks between cut and bulk?
>inb4 its water weight
No, it's not.

0/10

Not really. I was half expecting him to relocate it because I was familiar with the process, though it never happened before. It was weird, we were just having a conversation and he was pulling my leg slowly from side to side and then someone else said something and I was distracted and in a split second it felt like he damn near pulled my leg off of my hip. There was a loud pop, a dull ache, and walking around felt fucky afterwards, but a good night's sleep and a little rest and it was back to normal. If it is SI related you're looking at a couple days turnaround, but the sooner you get it adjusted the better. If that is what it is.

how do I bulk if all the retarded boomers are buying all the rice and chicken

Im serious

Now my town is going into semi-quarantine. Still debating messaging her. I was thinking of keeping it simple. Like
>Hey, this is user. Didn't get a chance to say bye*. I'd like for us to still be friends**, call or text me anytime. Stay safe out there.
*she quit and I didn't know at the time
**officially we were friend but she was staring at me and smiling whenever she would walk past
How do I unsimp this?

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Dont say you want to be friends, you fucking idiot.
t. virgin

You can't unsimp yourself. Are you a simp or aren't you?

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2 weeks ago I tweaked a muscle in my neck sneezing (took like 10 days to recover)
this week i tweaked a muscle in my back sneezing (still hurts, seems to be getting better fast though)
yesterday tweaked my shoulder but it wasnt as bad as the others and was fine in the morning.

the fuck is this?

So is masturbation cardio? How many cals are burned per hour edging?

Stop screaming while sneezing

Last time I was squatting I got a pretty bad pulsing headache, that was two days ago. Today was benchpressing and midway through a rep the headache came back hard. It seems like exertion headache from what I've looked up. Anyone else get this? I guess I'll take a few days off and next time I'm lifting, I'll try exhaling with pursed lips on the hard part of the rep? Is it really just all about breath control? I'm a noob and I'm annoyed that I have to pause my workouts because of this

>>inb4 its water weight
>No, it's not.
yes it is dumbass lmao. Let me break it down for you:

a pound of fat is 3500 calories. You can at-most gain a quarter-pound of muscle per week as a natural, so we would have to assume the other 9.75 lbs is fat if it's not water weight. So that's 34,125 calories of difference per week, or roughly an intake of 4875 calories per day. Just for shits and giggles, lets say you actually do eat that much and gain 10 lbs in a week. For you to then lose that same weight, you'd need to be at a deficit of 4875 calories a day. That's physically impossible for 99% of people and even for those actually burning that kind of calories are roided up and eating well into the 5k range if not higher.

You're either lying, your scale is broken, or it's water weight ya dingus.

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What's the easiest and cheapest thing I can add to rice to make it less dry and boring? I like simple meals but plain rice is a bit too much

how often can you do curls until it's unhealthy?

Should I cut, bulk or maintain? I started lifting seriously 2 months ago. I’m 6’0” 190lbs.

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It's 100% breathing. You're getting a headache because you're straining while low on oxygen. Once you learn to breath properly during your lifts you won't get those kind of headaches.

also make sure you're hydrated. Dehyrdation can give you headaches.

I mean technically if you get your heartrate high enough it's cardio, but most people aren't active enough while jacking off to actually reach that range. Sex is another thing.

Lime. Cilantro. Little bit of oil and salt. Chipotle rip-off rice, delicious as fuck.

Alternately: diced carrot, peas, scrambled egg, onions sauce. Basic fried rice.

Curls that aren't too heavy? Could probably do them everyday desu. Heavy curls? Probably 2-3 times a week.

I'd say cut, particularly now that food is a little harder to get thanks to corona-chan panic.

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Can/should I run every day?

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Im at most on a 700 calorie surplus. So youre telling me i gained 20lbs of water weight in 2 weeks? lmao