Characters in your gym

I’m the autist that gets super pissed off when sweaty old boomer fucks wearing tank tops as if they are young people walk too close to me as though that’s not insane of them to do this, you’re old and gross I don’t want to smell you you fucking weird human being

No one cares what you want unless they want something from you. The sooner you learn this, the better off you'll be. Those fat sweaty fucks have learned and don't give a shit about you because you aren't useful.

>you're not allowed to have opinions about people smelling bad if said stinky people with no self awareness won't listen to them
Not him but this post was so beta that I had to drop in from the front page to call you a faggot.

>That one batshit crazy bitch that continually talks regardless if anyone is listening while taking up three machines in a circuit even though circuits are specifically not permitted in the machine area.
>that shredded 5'9" mid 50s dude that squats five plate for reps with the hard german accent, but is super nice if you actually talk to him.
>that trio of cardiobunnies that sprint together on the treadmills. Stand behind that for 60sec and not spring a wood? unpossible.

>that guy that thinks he's hot shit because he mastered several windshield wipers and swiss ball tucks
>that guy that stays long enough for an entirely new shift of gym goers to come in
>that guy that got broken up with mid workout

tfw that guy

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Who's the character who believes this?

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>biggest most unhealthy looking person in the gym is the strongest
>skeleton looking dude always around fit woman and doing weird shit constantly

I wonder which character I am in some faggots gym hate meme world

>that skellyman who doesn't get bigger but still went from 1pl8 to 3pl8
Tell me your secret

oh man, i have a good one.

>20-something skinny dude
>seen him around the gym for years
>ALWAYS doing the same routine of squat, bench, deadlift + whatever
>ALWAYS lifting the same amount of weight
>probably wonders why he's still as small as he was when he first started
>never, ever seen him talk to another person in the gym
>earbuds in, staring at the floor between sets, takes his phone out from time to time but it's obvious that no one has texted him and he's just doing it to pass time

dude's fucking weird bro. like, literally years of being at the gym and no one knows his name. at this point, other regulars and i just kinda leave him alone and don't invite him out. if he asked around for advice he'd probably make some progress.

>ALWAYS doing the same routine of squat, bench, deadlift + whatever

The fuck. Are you some sort of weightlifting hipster? Are the big compound lifts too mainstream for you?

/fit has been infested with literal tards I swear

>chad who comes to the gym just to do cardio and push ups but actually mogs everyone there
>boomer with impressive arms, chest and shoulders but with a massive beer gut letting down his whole physique
>skinnyfag covered in tattoos who just comes to the gym to walk on the treadmill
>two hippie guys who both look dyel as fuck but actually have great numbers (they both bench 2.5pl8)
>guy who looks like a swole kurt cobain who can do like 50 pull ups
>fatass who spends his entire gym session on the leg press machine
>guy who openly admits to roiding who is still dyel and weak as shit, has decent biceps but that's about it
>black dude who is absolutely huge but has the worst insertions imaginable
>emo kid who doesnt at all dress like you should at the gym, lifts in combat boots, baggy jeans and a leather coat
Aside from these it's mostly just run of the mill gymbros and generic thots

>falling for low-tier bait
Yikes

>as a narcissist I speak on behalf of all people

>Powerlifting girl constantly wearing the belt and only does squats with impressive numbers. Has an amazing large firm ass because she only does squats, good for test boost
>60+ year old thin man who only does cardio and walks around with a cane. I admire his determination and I wish he used his cane on the treadmill instead of holding onto the sides
>Group of 5 Indian men who only use one machine at a time and huddle around it taking turns

I wonder what character I am to other people

>the 37yo boomer who just does calisthenics
>the guy who comes in hung over all the time
>the guy who browses Yas Forums between sets
>the guy who clearly has no idea what he's doing and makes fuck all progress
Yes, I work out at home.

Top kek I know this feel.

Look at a gym thot once and she wins up doing an ass workout in front of you when you literally cant look away

>the gym thot who comes with her bf to workout and stares you out when he isnt looking

>David
Is this guy literally retarded? That statue was done hundreds of years after the romans and greeks fell

>Smithmaster
Boomer with small head who does a full body workout in the Smith machine and uses literal two-inch ROM for every single exercise. Denies all thots entry to his SMITHZONE for hours.
>Bloho
Jason Blaha-looking motherfucker who loads up 2pl8, puts the bar on his back like he's going to squat, and does side-to-side wiggles instead. Once seen swinging the bar in a golf club motion.
>Meatboy
Built as fuck, but manlet and high body fat. Seems to only do legs or shoulders, sometimes simultaneously with 80 kg thrusters. Signature move is walking barbell lunges along the track in the middle of the gym floor.
>Mixed Manlet Tardlet
Manlet with downie-looking face. Entire workout consists of heavy bag combinations. Possesses the juiciest, nicest calves I have ever seen - n-no homo.
>Papa Press
Boomer who does absolutely nothing other than bench variations, OHP variations, and rotator cuff rehab exercises. His bench has been at 95 kg x 5 for the past year.
>Red Leggings Thot
Thot with red leggings. Is walking on stairmaster when I come in, is walking on stairmaster when I leave. She and the stairmaster are one.

maybe she doesn't know how to get off the stairmaster?

Maybe. There are three stairmasters in the gym, and I've only ever seen her on the leftmost one.

Love my local one. Barely ever works out just stares at ya

fucking liberals

>That one guy who does 20 reps of 225 on the benchpress, and then immediately drops to 135 because he's tired
That retard is me

Does anyone else ever hope they get mentioned in these threads?

God, I'm lonely.

>>that super huge roided 40-year old boomer who looks like a fucking gangster but is super cool
There's always one of these guys, huh? Currently on my 3rd gym, and yup, there's a super /fraud/ training there, and the dude is the chillest, nicest guy around.

Shitty genetics.
t. that skelly

Underrated.

I chatted with a guy like that in my gym.
>skinny indian guy comes over when I finish my 2pl8lmao squats
>Ask for advice on form
>Guy's personal trainer made him lowbar and do high reps.
>Fairenough.jpg
>Chat about if he wants to get big, he needs to eat big
>drops the ''i'm vegan''
>''oh cool dude, so what's your protein intake like then? You get a lot of tofu, beans and such?''
>''Not really I eat like 1500kcal a day''
>''Ah that's cool, you're be big eventually''
Yeah he's not making it guys, he told me he was stuck at 40kg and he doesn't even do atg. He was literally half-repping because his trainer taught him to.

(OP)
>julian the giganigga
6'5'' former bareknuckle boxing champion. loves dancing to techno and is generally one of the nicest dudes around
>paulie the ancient
boxing coach in his late 70s who still outworks half the dudes in the gym
>the pastor
jiu jitsu professor who recites bible passages from memory whenever giving life advice to people. also one of the toughest SOBs around despite being 5'5'' and 160lbs
>ryan the leg lock wizard
brown belt who so highly specializes in leg locks that as a purple belt he could tap out black belts without much issue
>the wheezing cripple
me

>He was literally half-repping because his trainer taught him to.
>trainer taught him to.
That is unforgivable.

Your gym sounds awesome.

It's from the Renaissance, a period which can be fairly characterised as an idealisation and imitation of classical Greco-Roman virtues and aesthetics.

>Your gym sounds awesome
can't help but agree, i love the place. unfortunately i've been sick for the last several days so i haven't been able to go since monday

>the climbchad jap
Comes in and does like an hour of shoulder isolation and one handed pull up shit

F, niggas got wuflu

you handled it good bro. Nothing you can do about some people. And indians...

Strongman LARPers, Glasgow.

used to be two of them in my gym, but one now goes to shitty commercial gym instead. Both like 20 yrs old.

Shared Characteristics:
>Fat as fuck
>Straps for EVERY set
>Smelling salts for EVERY set
>knee, wrist and elbow sleeves for EVERY set
>Yell loudly and slap eachother's backs to do
140kg block pulls for no more than 5 reps
>Everyone in the gym hates them and makes loud noises to imitate them
>Both wear expensive strongman clothing brands, use expensive preworkout, their belts cost £150
>Cover the gym floor in chalk
>Extremely fucking weak, none of them have a 1.5x bodyweight lift
>Lie about old PRs that nobody happened to witness or video

>Man #1
Let's call him A-dawg - 5'6 100+kg, very fat. Shitty patchy beard and cookie-cutter fade/boy band fringe hair
The biggest consoomer of the two, used to put his huge silverback gym bag in squat rack if he was working near it. Gym owner asked multiple times if he could stop doing that, to no avail. Brought his slampig gf to every session who just watched and videoed him for instagram. Would constantly say how he can eat whatever because he's a strong man. He isn't. Only does block pulls and "speed" squats 10x2. Posted every session on instagram, he left the gym though and now is calling himself a bodybuilder, probably because he realised he was too weak for strongman.

CONT.

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Yes. How's that a representation of how people were in classic rome

>Man #2

Will greentext a list of his antics. Let's call him Chromosome Cam. I've thought about videoing him a few times, I think he's on the spectrum. He's 6'3, 140kg.

>Screams during sets, like one of those professional strongmen
>Bought a meme program from a strongman pro
>Wears high end lifting brands, buys a pair of compression shorts every other week.
>Claims he deadlifted 192.5kg on a special deadlift bar but nobody saw it or recorded it, he then failed 170kg at a deadlift meet a few days after making this claim.(Bare in mind he weighs 140)
>Gets extremely psyched up for sets, usually fails and then gets angry - starts yelling and swearing.
>Told me I should be doing block pulls instead of deficit deadlifts to improve my speed off of the floor, to back this up he uses the argument that he's been lifting for years and it worked for him.
>He once apparently told one of our PTs that their client was wearing shoes and shouldn't be
>Gives out unsolicited advice out to everyone when they're trying to lift
>Gets visibly upset when I tell them to ignore him because he is a fucktard
>Constantly asks me about metalcore bands he likes, even though I inform him that I think metalcore is gay and I hate it every time
>Burned his nostrils on smelling salts from abusing them every session
>Once told me that Intensity has nothing to do with rest times, but in fact is based on how loud and pumped up you get for a session, claiming that shouting and screaming makes you stronger. I wonder what went wrong with him then?
>One time somebody was squatting 120kg and he rushed over to tell them they should be using a stiff bar, not an olympic bar, as it bends too much.
>Always uses straps, he was doing block pulls with 120kg last week for 3 reps and using straps, claiming he hurt his biceps tendon a few years ago and it never healed, it genovaing.
>has 10 minutes rest between sets
>posts like he's a celebrity on instagram
>slams weights no matter how heavy

>Metalhead
Works out in a leather jacket, jeans, and combat boots. Brings his dad along, who has to try every stationary bike because he can't adjust the seat, and looks like a homeless stroke victim.

>Does anyone else ever hope they get mentioned in these threads?

What makes you stand out? I'm a guy wearing spandex.

>The 5ft 1 Asian with something to prove that spends 30 hours a week at the gym.
>Ripped as fuck and reasonably strong but still won't compensate for the 3 inch penis

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the only reason you don't like the dude is because you're a desperate bottom who wishes his ricedaddy was tall and hung enough to satisfy you.
take your grindr screencaps elsewhere, homo

I'm that guy too..

>140kg block pulls for no more than 5 reps
I've been lifting moderately for less than a year and I diddly more than that
As for dudes in my gym
-Boomer who exclusively trains bench on the Smith - has been doing 80kg with shitty range and form since I have been at the gym
-PT who loudly does calisthenics and thai chi, but only when it's busy as fuck
-Polish 6'4 baldie who mogs 99% of the gym but never goes heavy and uses machines
-Speccy cunt who does biceps every fucking time I see him and looks angry when he sees me but has a DYEL body apart from arms
-Two powerlifting brehs who are pretty cool, clearly making progress and banging out 5pl8 for reps and reps
-Balloon butt girl who only trains glutes and has an ass that words fail to describe (hip thrusts/squats/GHR errytime)

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>he always notices when this specific asian dude is at the gym
>compliments his body and strength but feels a strange need to neg him

you've got a crush on JL, don't you?

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Go to bed Wang

I would find it interesting to get mentioned since i'm /homegym/

>that one guy who doesn't know I'm living in his house and watching him

>that one herculean black guy that towers over everyone
>that one incredibly fit Asian girl that always does yoga
>that one 50 year old in way too much makeup and ridiculously light clothes
>that one boomer that comes in baggy shirts and shorts and stretches for hours without doing anything
>that bald guy with a lifting belt and massive gut that does nothing but stand and watch people

The cute shyboy who I want to bum me

I feel attacked

manlets

> that guy who wont STOP DRINKING MY MILK