Anyone here done this? I've been isolating myself for the past two years, been very busy studying for my masters and CFA exam, plus I didn't get along with the people in my masters degree.
Due to this fact I basically lost the friends I had two years ago as they have moved on with their lives, moved away and so on. To make matters worse my social skills have deteriorated due to my isolation.
Inb4 people say your life is over after age 25.
>freinds
who cares
this isn't fitness related go somewhere else.
Join a climbing club. Easiest way to make fit friends.
having a social life and friends is good for mental health which is something this board needs to start focusing on more.
I’m in the same boat, only I’m 9 years isolated. And I have autism, a speech impediment, anxiety and low self esteem. People can say they can tell I have issues by looking at my eyes, I guess I look nervous and have dark circles. I’m a DOOMER for sure. Think about Suicide everyday
this
>masters and CFA
>socially isolated
>social skills have deteriorated
protip: you need a network and social skills to get a good job
t. writing level 3 this June. have no social skills or network either, so not getting job interviews in finance
I don't have any advice as I'm in the same position. But monitoring for good advice
39 here.. 18 years of isolation.. yeah life is over for me, I may as well just blast myself already
1) You can reconnect with your old ones if they were true friends
2) Fighting sports are a good place to meet new bros.
Find a hobby/group/social/class that you can become a regular at. Try a bunch of different stuff if needed. You'll at least have that activity in common. Force yourself to interact with people since you need the practice.
Joining a physical activity is nice like dancing/climbing (like the other user said) because it shows that the people give some semblance of a shit of physical activity. There are a lot of out of shape people in dance places (varying dance skills) so if you got some muscle, you'll look big.
supplement vitamin d3.
I have.
Changed city, started new hobby, got invited to parties.
Agree, I have recently graduated and I know if my social skills don't improve I won't land a job because it generally is a business for extroverts.
Thanks, I've been thinking of this lately
Fuck off. The constant focus on "mental health" is what drives people to feeling like shit because they think they are supposed to feel fantastic all the time. They feel like if they have a bad thought or uncomfortable feeling they must have a "mental health issue" and there is something wrong with them. In reality life has ups and downs and you just deal with them. Fuck you and fuck your comment. You are breeding emotional fragility and causing people to snap and shoot up schools
fucking retard
Force yourself to engage with others. That's literally it. Whether it's through work, volunteering, hobby meetups, or just random strangers, if you don't force yourself to get out of your comfort zone, nothing is gonna change.
cope
He has a point though. It's ok to feel unhappy at some points in your life.
based until you fucked your legitimate point with extrapolation and hyperbole
In your hometown? It’s possible but good luck. If you move away and start all over again you’d be far better off
Based
Oh no i wanna be a victim to the big bag bully WAAAA
M8, we're social creatures. throughout history we've worked together to survive. If you didn't work with others, you were alone and chances for survival dropped. Even if the modern era has made self reliance a feasible route, that's evolution messing our minds telling us to not be outcast.
Obviously life has ups and downs, but everything else in his post is autistic. Humans are social creatures, there's a reason isolated confinement literally drives people insane.
I literally can’t socialize. I’m awkward and cringy, I never know what to say and if I do say something it’s almost always cringe. I can’t meet people or make friends or maintain a relationship, I have a little trouble reading people as well, someone can be nice to me and then I’ll think we’re cool but then the next day they will just ignore me
I'm not sure I did. Sure it's a stretch but I think constantly telling kids that they have to have perfect mental health is causing downward spiral when any little thing goes wrong. It teaches them that if they aren't perfect they must have a disease and need medication. Over diagnosing people and giving them drugs they don't need leads to major mental episodes.
if you cannot find solace within yourself despite the situation of your person then it is not your lack of friend that is the issue, but your weak and pathetic mind.
having friends would ultimately reduce the intellectual facet of my mind.
men should be solitary.
I lift in my mom's basement and perfect my ego and whole
>lift
>eat
>work
>sleep
>ad infinitum
YOU ARE A LITERAL CHILD INCAPABLE OF TRANSCENDENTAL THOUGHT.
Socializing is a skill just like any other. It requires practice.
I'm not saying isolation is a good thing. The exact opposite. I agree that a good social life and having friends is crucial to living a fulfilled life. I took issue with his mental health comment.
I'll never get to smell her feet after track practice bois..
Not with that attitude
This.
So go be social then. If you really need to be explained to how then it is you who are the autists.
you sound like a girl haha, where are you from?
WHO is that Woman OP??
does she dig ass eating, cuz id be up in that all day
>Joining a physical activity is nice like dancing/climbing
Yas Forums claims dancing and climbing are gay though
Also wouldn't it be strange for op to join a dance class alone?
>caring
>not just quitting drugs and fapping and going monkmode
Feels are illusions lads, once you've lost them you can't get them back, you wouldn't even want them back
Yas Forums also thinks vegetables are bad for you and that cardio is pointless
They all do for the most part. Once you start trying to put stuff in there is when you meet resistance.
I do rack pulls and RDL to break through that
imma put my mouth in there, like IN there knowhatimsayin
Ask her if her feet smell haha
Why do you care what Yas Forums says? Dancing is viewed higher (especially latin cultures). It's great for cardio. I've joined dance by myself, became a regular, and have made plenty of friends. Granted, I'd argue socializing is my strong suit.
Just ask someone to dance after the lesson (during the social) and make sure you remember who the beginners are (their faces. Odds are high you'll forget a lot of peoples' names). Don't assume everyone in the beginner classes are shit because sometimes advanced dancers are sharpening their fundamentals or doing the opposite role. Dancing is a skill that needs grinding. You do wanna make sure your dance skills increase and you aren't just the guy at dance places trying to pick women up.
I just wanna monkmode somewhere warm and sunny and keep a tortoise in my yard and play guitar out there all day, without a woman in sight to disturb my peace
One thing people forget, is that you have to actively keep in touch with people, after you start adding people into your social circle. Not necessarily hanging out every weekend, but calling/texting once in a while.
Some people will respond, some people won't. If they don't respond after a few calls/texts, drop them.
Dig Your Well Before Your Thirsty is a good book on networking
Based. Relationships involve an exchange of value. If either party stops adding value, it's over
I feel you OP. I've recently realized that I just don't really like my "friends." Things are going pretty decently right now though. I've made a new friend of a guy that I work with and we've started a band with other friends of his and I really enjoy it. I also saw a girl from highschool recently, she's one of the only decent people that I went to school with, so I enjoyed the 20 minutes or so that we talked. Maybe we'll hang out again someday.
>Tfw I wear sunglasses everywhere because I'm afraid of what people will see when they look into my eyes.
I agree. I think the whole focus on mental health is damaging if anything. Instead of people just solving their problems or gritting their teeth to get through the pain, they say they have a mental illness so they don't have to do the work. They just take some pills, or socially isolate themselves in order to "work on myself" when they're just making things worse.
I don't care. I used to do ballroom dancing ages ago in school and plan to pick some form of dancing up again once I move to a bigger city.
I was just pointing out Yas Forumss aversion to anything like that.
i want to have sex with her if you catch my drift
I've thought about this a lot because my older brother is having trouble with this too. It comes down to:
> repeated exposure
> positive environment
> positive interactions (ie compliments, asking for advice)
> pay attention to their shit and follow up (ei how'd that hike, yoga class, ect go?)
> try to find broad interest common ground (not something specific like war themed stamp collecting, but over all themes like fitness, lit, ect)
> get contact info and actually reach out using common ground broad categories (if their good at X or do something regularly ask to come or if they'll show you, or bring up something new)
>more on the reaching out part: if you'd have an annoying time replying to what you're thinking of writing, don't send it
It's true OP, social life basically becomes non-existent after 25. People are more focused on career and family. A lot of my friends became too busy for me due to those reasons. So I settled down and got married a year later. Focused my time and energy on my family and career. I now have 2 kids and barely ever hang out with people outside of my small group of friends.
Married couples have this thing where they only socialize with other married couples. It's like an elite social underworld. If you have kids, you're only going to have any luck doing group activities with other couples with kids. This is part of the reason why single people lose a lot of friends in their mid-twenties.
to add to this. You have to be active in going out for drinks, parties, events, etc. That way you can invite people out that you meet. For example, your rock climbing friends can meet your Yas Forums friends and who coordinated the social gathering? user did!
Don't exclude women. If they cool. Socialize with them, maybe they will invite you over to her next sleepover.
basing all your relationships on "exchange of value" is a soulless expression of late capitalist ethics and long term it will only make you feel empty and unloved. That is why every frat bro and club guy you see seems like such a seething mess of repressed rage and sexual frustration, even though he makes good money and gets laid a lot.It is because his moral compass is based on over-evaluation and hyper competition. He knows there is always someone higher up the food chain with more to offer than him (therefore a "better" friend) and he has no self-worth. Many such cases.
Holy based.
You're really fucking dumb.
It's just real talk homie
it is fucking 2020
Imagine unironically having friends nowadays
Track girls like that are usually 180cm lanklets.
Man imagine her big spooning you lmao imagine how weird that’d be with her soft lithe spindly arms wrapped around you lol
this board is the absolute worst place to get mental help
Most boards are probably worse
Mental health isn’t real but being a little bitch is
Test e blast maybe. Boom blast no bruv.
>attempt to stay in touch
>no response
>nobody ever contacts you
no there's no reason to communicate with other people when you are apparently so unlovable and valueless nobody has a reason to talk to you.
I have a big social circle and was in a similar position to you. Some tips:
- Go to shit that fits your personality. Clubs are shit for socializing. Hit up charity events, volunteer events, that sort of thing. Plug into the gala circuit (virtually every city has one) and show up proper (at least in a good suit - you probably can get away with not wearing a tux nowadays, though it does help to have one).
- BE CONSISTENT. This is 99.9% of the way to make friends. Don't just show up once - show up consistently and be someone people recognize. "Drive-by" folks are ignored by regulars because expending the energy to get to know them is never worth it.
- Throw your own events. Seriously, this works - meet people, then invite them to shit. Doesn't have to be too fancy - could be a happy hour, could be some dumb shit like going bowling. This has been one of my tricks for years - I've made the social system hub-and-spoke and established myself as the hub.
- I've also been in the dance community for a while. It's good, as others have said, but tends to be a lightning rod for weird fucks (ESPECIALLY swing). It's a good skill to develop, just get into the scene cautiously, and avoid the swing kids and fat girls that do Bachata.
- Don't hit on the girls too quickly. They all know each other (at least in certain circles), and they TALK. Shoot your shot and you'll burn your way through half a city pretty goddamn quickly.