Choose your master Yas Forums

>tzeentch takes advantage of your arrogance
>"dude if your cautious you can totally out-jew the omni-sentient god of jewing, keep your dick in your pants"
user..i...

Hey, all the Chaos Gods use you as a pawn in the end for their own whims, Tzeentch is just upfront about it.

right, but tzeentch is the only one who'll screw you over for the lulz

The ultimate redpill

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It doesn't
That's why everything GW makes is garbage and yet nearly everything fan made is good
There are bullshit bits of lore that are unofficial non-canon because the fanbase decided to ignore their existence

fak the chaos gads I have Jesus

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Isn't that weird how all the sons of Emp have different ethnic names and he never bothered to change them?
>Jaghatai? That's what you call yourself now Timmy? Is that some kind of phase? I didn't raise you like that boy

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When they have sex, does Guiliman scream "I CUM FOR MACCRAGE!"?

he probably never named them in the first place

>saying this when khorne screws over your mind and sanity as a killing machine destined to eventually die for his sake, nurgle screws over your sense of purpose and ambition as a rotting meatbag, and slaanesh will literally screw your soul as an onahole

Based and Imperiumpilled.

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Tzeentch > Khorne >>> Slaanesh > Nurgle
prove me wrong

>believing in gods
ISHYGDDT

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>ancient horrors who are eldritch abomination who will rape me
>cute girl who is an eldritch abomination who will rape me
Tough choice OP

>Infects your tomb world
>Infects your hive fleet
Nurgle is going to win, you either deny his generosity become fertilizer for the new galaxy, or embrace his gifts and become an immortal vessel for trillions of lives.

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GW originally wrote the lore to be the exact opposite of that, and that nearly any story can fit into the narrative and make sence
Then GW decided to trash all that when they figured it would be a better idea to ONLY write and show anything in lore if it has a tt model to sell, if not then it might as well be non-cannon

Daily Reminder to always click any image containing the emperor to magnify his strength and wisdom.

>Tzeentch is the correct answer so long as your not a brainlet. He fucks you over by taking advantage of your arrogance, if your humble and know what your dealing with, youll be pretty well off, so long as you can pay attention and keep your dick in your pants
This is the exact kind of attitude that drives people to getting into Tzeentch and getting fucked over in the first place.

Thousand sons are a shitty legion to be a part of period. Every man for himself and extremely dog eats dog. Death Guards are bros - top choice for chaos. Next up would Word Bearers I guess, like a sunday school and everybody is nice to each other in church. Black and Alpha legions are serious in a professional sense, so not too bad. World Eater, Emp Children, 1k Sons, Iron Warriors and Night Lords are just a bunch of assholes to everybody around

Despite being a Turk, emps has a very diverse range of sons
>a nigger
>a guy who is magenta red
>a Mongolian
>a greek
>and a dozen white dudes

Sure every god transforms its worshipers in its image, but that's generally considered a good thing by its followers. All the gods might turn you into a chaos spawn, but usually only when you've failed them and are no longer useful.
Tzeentch is still the only god who might fuck you for no reason at all, even if you think you're serving him properly.

>cute "girl"

>hey kid your name is Angron? I hope that won't ever cause any problems

WHERE MY /SALAMANDERS/ AT??

INTO THE FIRES OF BATTLE!

UNTO THE ANVIL OF WAR!

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emps didn't give a fuck about angron in general

user i have a magical ever-chaning bridge to sell you

Why not all of them?

You just gotta ride the waves of fate bro, every keikaku is a wild, worthwhile ride even if it means one's demise, so be it.

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>Chaos Undivided
Fencesitting cuck

close enough

lmao they just ripped off the Danganronpa Monokuma symbol with the half black half white color scheme dude

He's literally not, though. He makes a lopt of lofty promises that are at best half-truths.
Khorne and Nurgle are mostly the upfront ones. Khorne doesn't lie (he finds it dishonorable) and Nurgle thinks his horrors are jolly good fun and sees no reason to lie.
Tzeentch is literally the god of lying.
Slaanesh lies as well, and will fuck you over, but the weird bit is Slaanesh often gives you what you want... so that you can tire of it and want more.

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They're all bad choices, but Khorne is the worst. You don't even get anything out of it; you just become an unsentient, unthinking, frothing rage zombie out of 28 Days Later.

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>Tzeentchfags are arrogant snowflakes who think they're so much smarter than everyone else and that they'll win in the end and won't get fucked over even though they will
>Nurglefags are lazy pieces of shit with no ambition or dreams who are really just jealous of those who are successful and cry sour grapes
>Slaaneshfags are coomers who can't think more than 5 minutes into the future and have already turned their brains to mush from their masturbation addiction
>Khornefags are edgy 12 year olds who just want to be feared and respected, even if it means being a slave to violence their whole lives

Who would want to be any of these? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

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Chaos Undivided

Is he really a turk? where is this stated in lore?

This

Aren't Orks immune to the chaotic plagues because their gods would totally beat nurgles fat ass and give him a wedgie if he pissed them off?

What are some good 40k reads other than the Horus Heresy?

>Slaaneshfags coomer meme
Slaanesh also does the whole Cenobite Hellraiser thing. I think it makes he/she/it a lot cooler.

Chaos Undivided faggots are next after the long war is over. They treat chaos as a plaything in their gay little daddy issues spat. Once the great game dominate in realspace, fencesitters will stomped and stomped until they’re sentient pulp in the forgotten dark corners of the warp.

Not that guy, but the place of his birth is stated to be in that region. The name, which I can't remember, is a clear reference to a mountain range around Turkey or some shit.

Nope, Death Guard have used infected Ork WAAAGHs to destabilize Imperial worlds before invading.

The only factions that are even on the radar for winning are Necrons, Tyranids or Orks.

Anatolian

Chaos will never win because ass soon as they will see they goal line they will all start fighting among themselves for their petty agendas

They're not immune, but they ARE resistant. Similar to Chaos Orks, it's POSSIBLE but not the norm. Plagues are more likely than Chaos Orks, though.

Nope, Death Guard have used infected Ork WAAAAGHs to soften up imperial targets.

The Omnissiah of course.

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Slaanesh is a tranny, impossible to be cool.

The end goal of Chaos is constant infighting between the four gods for eternity.

Emps was born in bronze age anatolia.

Nurgle has the coolest traitor legion. Death Guard are badass. Tzeentch is second with the Thousand Sons. The other two don’t matter.

Night Lords barely even qualify as actual chaos their more like mercernaries that come in and cause pandamonium during secular sepratist movements or to gather slaves for their own purposes, they don't even worship the chaos gods, neither do the Iron Warriors or the Alpha Legion, they just use them as like an environmental advantage. Alpha Legion if you look at their participation in Vraks are also like this, taking advantage of separatist movements for political rather then religious reasons

Iron Warriors are also probably the most professional in stand up warfare of the traitor legions.

Not how that works, but whatever you say friendo.

noise marines though

>Slaneesh
/s/, /hc/, /hm/, /h/, /e/, /u/, /d/, /y/, /aco/, /r/, /hr/, /gif/, /r/, Yas Forums, /i/, /po/, /p/, /wg/, /fa/, /trv/, /o/, /tg/, /toy/, /cm/, /m/, /w/, /c/
>Nurgle
Yas Forums, Yas Forums, /lgbt/, /vip/, /vr/, /soc/, /3DCG/, /gd/, /mlp/, Yas Forums, /vp/, /jp/
>Tzeentch
/x/, /lit/, /t/, /diy/, /qst/, /news/, /wsr/, /adv/, /ic/, /cgl/, /wsg/, Yas Forums, /t/, /sci/, /g/, /k/, Yas Forums, /f/
>Khorne
Yas Forums, Yas Forums, /vg/, /his/, /ck/, /an/, /sp/, /asp/, /out/, Yas Forums
>Undivided
Yas Forums, /s4s/

Your master is the 3 boards you frequent the most.
You don't choose your master, your master chose you.

i will become the ultimate coomer and follow slaanesh and will have sex with strange creatures with multiple genitals and there is literally nothing you can do to stop me

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>helsreach
youtu.be/nKMdHfOC7VQ
>brothers of the snake
>eisnhorn trilogy
>devastation of baal
>dark imperiam part 1 and part 2
>caiaphas cain
That's about it. Most other books are trash.

And their problem is they can't put it off until they defeat everybody else. They are like Orks in that sense, except four way and even less likely to unite for long enough to get anything done

Emperor’s Children might be cool if they get their own range like DG and TS. Right now they’re recoloured undivided with a handful of conversions who do the exact same shit as other legions except it gets them off because fighting is the most extreme sensation blah blah blah.

>Having every form of space AIDS imaginable
>Being an angry dumb idiot constantly
>Being bamboozled by your god 24/7
>Not picking Slaanesh and snorting every form of space cocane off of a futanari deamonette's dick while you blast lasers from your electric guitar
OUT OF MY WAY LOSERS

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>/h/, /d/, /aco/, /gif/, /wg/, /trv/
>/soc/
>/x/, /lit/, /t/, /qst/, /adv/
>Yas Forums, /vg/, /ck/, Yas Forums
This is still biased towards Slaanesh bro. Please fix your list.

IW are professional on like a company level but the whole Legion doesn't have a command structure or defined goals. Every head honcho is in it for himself and doesn't give a crap about others

Yas Forums is biased towards slaneesh.
That's just the way things are.

Why do slaaneshtrannies always think it’s some paradise where you fuck hot aliens all day long? The reality is you’d be used as a cocksleeve for demons with spiked cocks that’ll brutally tear your insides to pieces over and over for eternity

youtu.be/ZLsX9WUdYnU

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I guess i'd rather worship the top right

That’s because the other companies are faggots full of halfbreeds that don’t know shit about daddy pertabby’s plan.

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sounds better than being turned into a literal fleshlight for slaanesh