ITT: We write the canon for the rest of FF7 Remake

All 5s and repeating 0s will be added to the canon continuity of FF7R going forward. Can we salvage it Yas Forums?

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Sephiroth was the good guy all along.
And the final fantasy was just the friends we made along the way.

Barret eats some chips.

Barret gets his other arm cut off so he duel wields machine guns

Cloud is dressed in a Butterfinger™ costume for the entirety of the second game. Dialogue randomly initiates between party members about how much they enjoy Nestlé Brand candy products.

barret rims clouds bunghole after mako energy enlongens his tongue and he slowly transform into genesis

Aerith lives

Zack lives
Genesis kills Sephiroth

like ff15 and cup noodles

scarlet perfects her breast expansion ray and captures tifa and aerith as test subjects. she succeeds but interference by the party cause he breasts to become so big she can no longer fight and is. tifa and aerith try to reverse the effects but scarlet has already destroyed the research notes and now they must all live with their new enhancements

Cloud dies trying to save Zack and he becomes the main character, then Zack dies fighting
Sephiroth so Aerith doesn't die and then time jannie stuff happens and Cloud is back to life so he's the main character again.

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Aerith and Zach meet
Zach keeps Aerith from being killed
Red XIII leaves the party to join them
Turks from the spinoff games appear
Sephiroth uses Jenova parts to create clone of the AC Trio
Weapons become Summons

Time jannies use painful body modification procedures to turn Tifa into her OG self

aerith thtill dieth

not a single 5?
Well now aerith and cloud fuck each others brains out on the golden saucer

Sephiroth reveals he's a white nationalist and lynches Barret and Rude to death.

Gonna reroll once and add that Aerith calls Cloud a retard at some point.

there is no part 2

based

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Cloud dies at the beginning on Game 2 and is replaced by Alex from YIIK

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Cloud is a nigger.

this lad becomes playable

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>Can we salvage it?
.........I will now save FF7
Replace Nomura with Daisuke Ishiwatari.
He will also provide the entire OST and re design everyone.

the changebads are preventing anons from getting 5s
they do it for free

FF7 actually ended at part 1, parts 2 and 3 subverts our expectations by being a Cait Sith spinoff.

Tifa dies. Vincent never gets out of his cuck shed

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he becomes mc and the cloud/sephiroth plot is dropped entirely

Yuffie becomes my wife

Vincent is Sephiroth's father

5 minute long makeout cutscene between Tifa and Aerith

Aerith dies again but this time in such a retardedly convoluted way that it becomes pure comedy.

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OH SHIT NIGGER! HERE WE GO!

Rolling for Cait Sith has a Mariachi Band as his party members in the spinoff

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Confirmed

Game now features dante from the dmc series

Date with Barrett is canon and the only date available at the Gold Saucer

She trips and breaks her neck trying to grope Tifa

Re-rolling for this but specifically that she slips on a banana peel, lands in an iron maiden that plummets into a ravine. All accompanied with Looney Tunes SFX.

Barret goes "Th-th-that's All Folks!"

fuck off already

Aerith becomes a time janny after dying

>Game now features Dante from the DMC series.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
There it is lads, pack the final build slap it on a disc and ship it.
We just saved Final Fantasy.

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red xiii gets neutered.

i rather play as kunsel.

Red XIII becomes human so they can make it playable

Tifa gets stuck in a wheelchair.

YES

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By Bob Barker which is accompanied by a "The Price is Right" minigame

Cait Sith team up with Gilgamesh to save existence from being eaten by the void.

barret now permanently wears the sailor disguise

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Tifa sleeps with Scarlet to gain intel on Shinra.

Shinra wins. The rest of the game is Rufus dealing with shitty middle management problems because he can't trust his staff

And then Tifa gives Noctis a blowjob and titfuck

another sephiroth from a different timeline comes and helps cloud, she comes from a genderswapped timeline
at the end they marry

Diamond Weapon trips and falls over the party killing everyone but Cloud

i mean, they could just copy some stuff from okami to make red 13 playable

the gang gets sidetracked playing an addictive card game (no gacha) and they all become destitute after cloud sells his buster sword for a rare card

fuck

Oh no...

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>5
no no no FUCK no more sephiroth clones PLEASE

Giant snails become the common ride.

Zack is alive but a pack of surviving jannies beat him to death while the benny hill theme plays.
Aerith steals Tifa's heart.

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I'm just imagining Dante being in FF7R in the same vein as the RE3 model swap scenes.

The icicle inn snowboarding minigame reveals itself to actually be a new 1080 game, and this was all just a bait and switch

genesis reveals he's clouds father and that he impregnated both tifa and aerith

bueno

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You saved FF7R user!

It's not a clone. Its the real Sephiroth

Pack it up boys, we got our happy ending

Carry Armor replaces Cait Sith in the party when met

The game goes back to its proper canon

Now canon to Remake FF7 going foward.

Rolling for love triangle subplot with Barrett and FemSephiroth both trying to fuck Cloud. It's possible to romance both, and it ends in a graphic 3some sex scenes that incorporates a gaggle of degenerate fetishes.

cloud time travels and fucks his mom and becomes his own father

funny

every random encounter is replaced with a minigame

Tifa is a loli with a delicious flat chest

>replacing the newly chosen main character of the story

This is a very bold move on Nomura's part

This but replace his mother with a fem version of himself

Swap Dante with the motorbike guy soldier and you got yourself a genuine improvement that makes far more sense.

Then what's the point of Yuffie.

A Gundam is somehow tied to the Jenova Accident

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Yuffie never appears in the remake.

>the last cut scene was just clouds last memory before he dies fighting sephiroth in space
>time jannies are disrupted by sephiroth so the team thinks he is dead
>time jannies eventually come and raise him but he is lost in time
>time jannies tell him me must be a become one of them in order to get back to earth
>zack leads new party as they travel the world
>cloud watches their back as the main time janny
>tifa gets seduced by zack and they have sex
>cloud tries to stop this but cant because the time jannies see it as an insignificance event
>whole cut scene dedicated to cloud trying to grab zacks dick and pull it away from tifa

ends up with femcloud from the same timeline as fem sephiroth

Geralt of Rivia appears in the game through a portal.

>I heard there was some white haired edgelord with a trench coat and a katana starting trouble and came as fast as i could