>Pull a giant's coffin out of hell because it looks super important and demons are scared of it
>Suddenly my workers all turn into demon worshippers
>Get the coffin open in a panic, shit's going bad
>Admit I fucked some shit up, he doesn't seem to want to murder me
>Give him gifts and talk to him and shit
>Request he not break my shit
>He breaks my shit, what the fuck?
>Doesn't even thank me for the gift
>Just goes around skullfucking my former employees without a care
>Sends humanity back to the stone age
>Rips me out of a stasis chamber
>Makes me into his house
>Tell him he can't just cause a cataclysmic event by shooting a hole in mars
>He fucks up not just mars, but potentially countless other interplanetary issues will result in the future
>Tell him that a weapon is not a transport device
>He fucking uses it as a goddamn slingshot
>Remind him that the longer the Icon of Sin is on earth, the stronger he will become
>Proceeds to have violent intercourse with the Kahn Maykr for SIX HOURS
I'm sick of being bullied by that green asshole.
Can we get a FUCK DOOMGUY thread?
Pull a giant's coffin out of hell because it looks super important and demons are scared of it
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Has there even been one time this fucking douchebag hasn't caused more problems than he's fixed?
Imagine being me, Yas Forums posters, instead of jacking off to fat lolis.
Imagine suffering.
>HAHA NO THIS TIME HELL ENERGY WON'T FUCK UP HUMANITY RIGHT GUYS???
>RIGHT???
For all we know he has a VR loli permanently installed for his pleasure
reminder this is canon: youtube.com
I guess he might. What would a robot want with loli anyway?
HEY SAMUEL
you're gay
Slayer I'm just a consciousness in your house now, My company is fucked, Mars is fucked and Argent energy is fucked can you please stop bullying me
I fucking love gay robots.
>he thinks i will ever stop bullying him
>he thinks i won't flick popcorn at his head all the time
>Proceeds to have violent intercourse with the Kahn Maykr for SIX HOURS
I hope someone recorded it
You're acting like we're not aware you wont be downloading yourself into our Titanslayer mech as soon as you get half a fucking chance, faggot.
Can you at least stop fucking those weird H Doom demons inside the castle? I can feel everything
I really really really really want to have loving intercourse with hayden
It would be extremely painful
>he forgot i came on his castle-brain
For you.
Hey Samuel! Samuel here from the dimension across the space. Just wanted to remind you that this is all that our life amounts to now. Even if we did somehow get control of hell; Doomguy doesn't even kill us. He just keeps bullying us. Relentlessly. You still have your crying program, right old buddy?
No more hugs Slayer
>My interest in her cunny was purely for the benefit of mankind
>You may not agree with our research... but know this. We exploited Coom and its derivatives because it was in mankind's best interest to do so. What you now see in this facility is the cost of progress.
That was profoundly unfunny.
>"We spent decades perfecting the doujins, selling it to humanity. We balanced their horny energy with our artists, making it usable, and safe. We solved a hentai crisis the world had no answer for. It works. You can not do this!"
>shuts down exhentai
>"You can't just make humanity resort to vanilla porn!"
>"If stopping our doujin production is what you want then you need only to destroy this last server and cunny will be no longer exist in this solar system... we will be back at square one."
>"You have no idea what you have just done."
>"I believe in honesty, especially now, in what will be your final moments in this world. All the rumors, the human sacrifices, the E621 portal, the furrys... it's all true. My sisters and brothers be thankful! You will be the first, you will have a seat along side them just as I will in the new world that they create for us... starting... now...!"
>"It's over. You won. You stopped the Reddit invasion and closed the board. But it's come at a price. Cunny, Moot, this entire operation. You see I've watched you work. Come to understand your motivation. You think the only way is to ban them all, leave nothing behind. And you may be right. But we can't just shut it all down. Without cunny doujins, it will be worse. I don't expect you to agree. [Takes Yas Forums pass] But with this, we can continue our work! I am not the villain in this story. I do what I do because there is no choice."
>"Rerouting site address complete."
>"Our time is up. I can't ban you, but I won't have you shitposting in our threads. Until we see each other again."
God I hope so
fucking based
can't live up to your master shitposts bro
you won
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Hayden's robo-bod is cute.
Samuel is Samur so I think he's cool with a lot of what's going on
hayden is for bullying
>my interest in Hell's doujins was purely for the benefit of mankind
>saved the wrong one
FUCK
You're pretty good too, user. Gave me a laugh.
>tfw putting a brain in a robot like Hayden will probably be possible within our lifetimes
it's a good fuckin feel, the flesh is weak
>gonna have a generation of people giving themselves 10 foot robo-bodies like Hayden for the same exact reasons, that reason being fuck you it's cool
Gonna be sick.
...
>"You can't just tower over everybody else like I do!"
we manlets will let loose the frailty of our flesh and take what is rightfully ours
I'll just make mine fifteen feet tall lol
Why doesn't that duck have eyes?
Hayden is hotter now that he's a robot.
He probably sounded like a normal dude but gave himself the voice of Optimus Prime on purpose.
Think about it, it's not like his robot body has his old vocal chords in it.
He made himself tall, have a cool design, and a cool voice just because he could.
And for that, he's my hero.
8-10 feet is prime intimidation height. Tall enough to be the scariest thing in the room, but not so tall that you're too tall to fit in the building or become a boss you fight at torso height.
give me these fat lolis
Hayden can technically get with doomguy and it wouldn't be considered gay because he's a robot.
I admit it that I may or may not have the hots for him due to the body alone
Wh-
That's not....
I don't have any fat lolis.
That's not what happened. Feel bad for you for not understanding such a basic story as doom.
Fuck yeah. Not to mention I have a stomach disorder so thankfully I wouldn't ever have to worry about that again either.
Doubt they'd be 10 foot but I would totally make mine that tall if given the choice. The future is looking real good, robobros. And with increased lifespans, hopefully robochads would get to see other cool shit like space travel. It really is a cool feeling knowing it'll be an option long before it's too late (at least for me personally). And as technology gets more advanced, we'd probably be able to update robot bodies as well so long as our brains are intact so that's cool too. There's literally no reason not to, even if you waited until you were old or something. As long as they look cool like Hayden.
Here bro.
>six hours
How do you know it was six hours?
What do you even get up to when we're away, hayden?
you cant lie to me, you made fat demon lolis with argent energy
Making demons was Olivia's thing.
isnt it implied Samuel is the Seraphim or Khan Maykrs right hand which bestowed the power unto doom slayer? Also, samuel time travelled back and stole The Fathers consciousness and installed it into Vega ?
>isnt it implied Samuel is the Seraphim or Khan Maykrs right hand which bestowed the power unto doom slayer?
it's barely even an implication, they aren't exactly subtle about it
>Also, samuel time travelled back
not sure where you're getting this one though
>time travel
not really
Samuel and Samur are listed as the same character in the credits (Samuel Hayden/Hooded Figure). If they were separate, then it would be two different listings. Where did you get time travel from?
Who wouldn't?
I feel like that would lead to some overpopulation problems tho and robros would be banished to Mars or some shit, lol.