How are you holding up bros?

How are you holding up bros?

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Where did you get that penis microphone?

is that an anus fleshlight

your fleshlight is cheating on you with long john OP

WTF... They made for micropenis

>a cheap knockoff
ahahaha

My Stoya Fleshlight is taking a beating

Mine's gotten too loose

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I had the Stamina trainer speed bump and the Riley Ried model, I just got my new sleeve last month before the lockdown, now the problem is I am running out of lube.

>people falling for the jew trick of fleshlight
you have 2 hands, choose one(or both), you dont need anything else.

Water based lube just washes out really easy,

Uh, I'm not cut and I use one

I've got a launch, it's basically dogshit. The stimulation is mediocre, you're basically forced to put it on manual to even cum. Funscripts often make me straight up flaccid with how little they have going on.

I'm really aroused by forced ejaculation, but the tech just isn't there. Maybe one day I'll pick up a venus 2000 or something, that looks a bit better, if you go soft it still works.

We get it, you are a NEET without a credit card

As a girl, I find anyone who uses a fleshlight to be disgusting and not a real man.

Which one goes up your ass?

What are you gonna buy with your $1200 trumpbucks bros? Don't act like you make over $75000 either

i want a drink so bad but i haven't had any in 2 months and need to quit drinking. last night i found half a bottle of vermouth from when I was big on martinis. fuck everything

Ok.

god i wish that was me on the left

show your penis

Gonna build a new PC finally.

rather fuck silicone then fuck you.

You are a walking fleshlight, roastie.

>work from home
>work slow as shit
>watch anime and play vidya the entire time
>while getting paid
>don't have to wear pants

I want this corona panic to be over, but I really don't wanna have to go back to the office either. Working from home is too fucking good.

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prove it

No.

In that order

Kill yourself incel.

>Fleshlight, Switch and piss bottle
Perfectly normal

Probably easier than jerking off. I'd probably opt for one of those fake asses though. Kinda hot

>piss bottle
Oi

I will eviscerate you. And everyone around you.

cmon just do it

You will never wake up to someone who loves you, all of you will die alone. I know each and every one of you cries yourself to sleep each night.

better go fuck the toy vs trolling this thread

Wanna trade? I cant stay home and act like not working is ok like you losers

fleshlight is overpriced POS, tore like 3 of them already

get an offbrand one on amazon and works like a charm

At this point I'm more worried about liver cirrhosis than corona. Either way, one of those will get me soon and it will be glorious.

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i made under 10k as a college student last year so I don't get shit and these fuckers haven't even frozen my loans. vote bernie

Are fleshlights only for circumcised penises?

I'm afraid it would rip my foreskin

I have a stoya pirate flashlight too

I don't knw what to tell you, user. I don't want to lose my job, but this... is just pointless.
I know that the government is trying to slow down the spread of fl--I mean corona (not because they care about us, because they don't, but because they can't treat too many patients), but most of these measures are just unnecessary.
>only 1 person is allowed to be in the bank and in smaller stores
>no public transport
>need a pass/permit (I assume this is the proper English term for this) if you travel from one town to another (lol)
But hey, at least (some) people will start washing their hands.

I don't have to.

And women wonder why men prefer 2D

Flashlights are shit tier, get a good quality onahole.

Implying I dont enjoy having total privacy.
You can fuck off the less people I have nosing into my life the better

Just like it would rip out any part of the skin. Just use lube as intended.

found the virgin

Worried about my mom and girlfriend's mom inb4 normalfag. They are both old. My mom is retired but has numerous medical issues and my girlfriend's mom is almost 70 and working at a grocery store during this crazy bullshit. Other than that, I'm most likely going to be off work until July or August, and I don't mind spending a lot of time at home so this is like a great vacation for me. Catching up on a lot of video games, movies, and shows that I've shelved or never got around to. It's almost overwhelming, I'm trying to squeeze in so much and it's getting hard to focus on what I want to do.

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bruh just stretch your foreskin you idiot. you do it daily for a few months you'll be fine

>jealous of a fucking fleshlight

hope this is a larp cause yikes

The bottom of society is jacking off to cartoons each day, you children basically filter yourselves out for us and save us the trouble. Why would women want to date the rejects of the world?

>less than 10k
Is there a minimum? I thought as long as you were employed and filed your taxes you got something

nofap is love, nofap is life

you don't have to but it would be cool if you did

My life sucks but at least I have a job and a roof over my head. It could be worse but it could also be so much better

Not american and not jewish :)

I dunno. Why are you trying to convert people here?

It's better that incels jack off to cartoons instead of stalking women all day and begging them for attention.

Sure but that's not what I asked

>women owns dilos
>noone bats an eye

>man owns fleshlight
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CANT DO THAT REEEEEEEEEEEE

mean
enjoy your benis all by yourself then

not well
Im drunk out of my mind and i cannot stand up

Wash your cup holy fuck, that looks nasty.

>order a fleshlight
>it doesn't even feel that amazing
>get horny
>order another fleshlight, thinking maybe this one will feel better
>it doesn't
>rinse and repeat
Such is the coomer cycle.

I jerk off dry