Updates and patches to life

HEY EVERYONE! god, lead developer of life here, how do you guys like the new update including COVID 19 (or coronavirus as fans are calling it) the team and i are REALLY proud of this addition and think it adds a nice challenge to the game. some people hahve suggested we nerf it but we made it resistant to those who use the "soap" item. anyway please report any bugs, or glitches in this thread

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No need to change anything mate, all that you created is perfect, bless your soul

thanks for the kind feedback!

Hey god, what is the worst fanbase that you created?

I think the phrases "baka", "have sex", "catch me outside", "glamping", "YOLO", "sneed", "my best life", and "dilate" should all be killbinds. Anyone who says or writes these has no reason to be alive.

oh boy there's a whole bunch. first off we have the obvious clans like sonic and pokemon but more recently i've seen jojo popping up as well as a clan dedicated to a new mixture of music from the korea region known as "kpop"

noted.
thanks for the feedback i think this would really improve the community although i don't see the need to filter "have sex" as reproduction is a major feature

Please god why can't you make everyone japanese? It's not fair that I'm black

yeah we originally wanted to have races be a dificulty option but somehow we fucked that up and made it so it randomizes your difficulty upon the start of a new game. we're trying to fix this bug but we've encountered several issues

superpowers when
when is space exploration unlocked

Niggers. Why?

Infect bezos or some high profile executives will you?

I've heard reports of it fucking over young people and even causing permanent damage in asymptomatic peoples lungs, smell and taste. It's more wide spread than ebola too and way more contagious.

again. it was meant to be a difficulty option but we accidentally made it a randomizer. we've tried fixing it in the past but the game has sort of been built around this so it's very difficult

Why is it that you caused a planet-wide volcanic eruption with a month old rain that completely flooded the entire thing and killed literally everyone back when there were only 20 something people drinking wine, but now there's 8 billion degenerates doing ungodly sinful shit and nothing is happening to punish them. Seems unfair.

Why do people believe in evolution and uniformism theories when all their proof is based on misinterpreted or outright falsified data, while creationism and catastrophism has piles and piles of proof that fits together perfectly and makes total sense?
Drop some more IQ points in the pool bro

so you're asking for me to smite half of the players? the community would be in shambles and reviews would tank. sorry user cant risk it

Permanent damage meant jack shit to the government statistic. It won't change anything. Now death rates, that's something.

Abortions should be illegal, that's spawnkilling

Female sex has been unbalanced for several decades now. Too many perks, not enough restrictions. There's no reason to ever choose the male playstyle.

It effects young people yes, but only if you are already unhealthy (smoking, fat, shit immune). It's a shame it's useless versus healthy young people.
alright but i want it to strike wealthy countries aswell. can we?

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yeah unfortunately theres nothing we can do about that. i mean the devs and i made it very clear that abortions should not be performed because as you said. it's spawnkilling. but we can't do much until the "afterlife" chapter

MONSTER GIRLS WHEN?!!?

Any plans to change the Age cap and/or adjust Aging rates?

why can't we have multiple saves?
almost every religious guild has been promoting post-game content or new game+ based yet everything just fucking dies

we did have a couple debuffs for it like gender inequality but the players decided "fuck that equality" and now we have this mess where ironically in trying to get balance has caused an unbalance

we don't have any plans of releasing monster girls at this time thank you for your understanding

I'm really enjoying the update but it's too easy. Hardly anyone in my server is infected and even if they do get it there's too high a chance that they'll live. You should definitely up the symptom severity and tweak the fatality values. Bring on the challenge! I don't believe you're actually the developer, but hopefully he'll see my requests anyway.

WE WANT THE ADMIN BACK

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>don't believe you're actually the developer
yeah you're going to hell

Yeah, bring it back to pre-flood levels.

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Didn't he get caught with cp?

The update seems rushed. My uni switched to online classes and they're horrendously disorganized, nobody knows how to work the software. Did you not do beta testing?

yeah i don't know what happened with jesus. he said he would come back some day but i haven't heard from him in literal ages

>the devs and I
how do other devs feel about all the abrahamic fuckers?
i'd probably smite a couple of non-believers

Is that really all you got from my post? Yeah you're definitely not the developer. The real one wouldn't be such an angry, unprofessional baby.

reeeeeee

Great game you got there, but come on, how the fuck am I supposed to complete the "Get a gf" quest? Especially with the shit stats I got with me?

Hey guys, server manager here. What are your thoughts on the recent climate update?

by killing yourself

MONSTER GIRLS WHEN?!!?

Hey god, can you like, let me into heaven already? I've followed all the game's rules and bought your merch. I thought you'd offer Paypal rosery credits already

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Reported for impersonating devs.

Will WW3 ever be released out of development hell? It’s been teased for at least decades and there was talks of it happening this year! So what gives? Why is it taking so long?

You are such a fucking hack. You just introduced covid-19 to kill off the old playerbase since membership costs are reduced with older accounts. How about improving the servers instead of having to throw in patchwork "fixes" like this?

Do you even play your own game? bruh

>we made it resistant to those who use the "soap" item
I'm pretty sure you fucked up, because soap is absolutely a very efficient tool against spreading covid19.

>infinite probation glitch still isn't fixed

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Why in the premium lobby of course. You know how to get there already, right?

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>while creationism and catastrophism has piles and piles of proof that fits together perfectly and makes total sense?

Your 2000 year old book of fairy tales isn't evidence.

stop sacrificing kids to moloch already you're fucking actual millennia too late to still be on about this demon of prosperity shit you psycho

Except the parts that somehow predict things that science would only learn about in two thousand years. Those parts would be the evidence.

that was an admin from a different server

remember the part where adam hides from god in a tree and god goes "adam where are youuuu???"
thats my fav

Attention to all players of "Life". Everybody who is subscribed gets access to an exclusive area for free in the post-game.
To confirm your subscription post ONE MORE GOD REJECTED

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You're thinking of another guild, we don't do sacrifices anymore. We just drink wine and eat a bit of bread on a Sunday.

>caveman schizo who got indoctrinated at birth thinks his scribbles are evidence because of numerology and synchronicities
there is NO transcendental knowledge in the bible

hey god? is doom guy in your side?

yeah you're not fooling me, i've seen the fucking basements, i've heard the death worshipping chants, the fact more than half of the users don't even know what the guild is about doesn't excuse shit

>indoctrinated at birth
I was actually a die hard atheist growing up, precisely because parents would try to indoctrinate me. But now I've learned that they were right all along.
>numerology and synchronicities
Um, no?
>there is NO transcendental knowledge in the bible
t. haven't read the bible

i heard that lobby isn't as good as they make it out to be, more like a "containment" lobby, makes sense too since it's so easy to get in

You could "predict" anything and given enough time something similar to what you "predicted" will happen. Doesn't mean you're actually a prophet, just means you made a lucky guess.

cool free stuff
ONE MORE GOD REJECTED