Describing videogames as horribly as possible

A Sciurus vulgaris takes a wrong turn and goes on a wacky adventure full of violence and alcohol

ZX Advent?

/vr/ time.

You hire hired guns, warcriminals and terrorists into a squad that you drop into a 3rd world shithole in hopes of killing the queen.

Donkey Kong tropical freeze

The main girl lusting after your dick is actually your mom who gets sent back in time at the end to bang your dad instead and give birth to you.

Correct!

Its white's national holiday and you have to put chocolates on your crushes desk.
Turns out the janitor is there and beats up children, also optional missions to follow ghosts and permenantly trap your GFs soul inside the school.

Its asian but not japanese.

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pikmin I'm...assuming.
No idea but I like it
Mine:
>samefag travels through a ruined world in order to kill himself. He is the only being in the world not controlled by fate. Promptly, he is controlled by literally everyone and in the end kills himself with himself so he can be himself and help out himself. This actually makes sense.

Yes

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Vermintide?

All his geese are swans.
Except his geese are actually his guild.

white day

never played it but want to

Solve global warming by killing bugs

Kirby?

you have to stop a literal bugman from spreading his disease with a nail

It's Tokyo in the 1920's and these bugs are just ruining everyone's day

No much more obvious
Yeah

You tought you and the other guys were special, but it was all a lie. In the end you decide to not choose and blow everything up

Your one night stand gets executed and you get caught up in some plot where everyone in the city wants to succ some old dead guy.

slightly rough federation 2

A dysfunctional family and their qt smol maid.

Hollow Knight
come on, you're not even trying

Local repairman can't catch a break and keeps getting mercilessly cucked: Part 1

It scratches that "stuck in a school at night" itch. Ps4 remake was pretty good.

You Want to kill a boss. You press a button. Button sends a carrier pidgeon to the nearest court with permission to use said button press. You receive an answer in at least 3 weeks time. After that time the character swings its oversized sword.
Meanwhile boss can instantly teleport to your position and counter your button press by reading inputs and has a quadrillion HP and nonsense attacks that instantly kill you even if they don't even hit your character.

vampire the masquerade

Two rabbits meet a messenger who tells them that the moon is gone and that if no one finds it there will never be another festival. After each of them is given a crown as a symbol of courage by the mysterious messenger, they go on a journey to get the moon back.

A samurai detective fights a dukes it out with a possessed high schooler

That's it senpai, Edgy Company 2.

Robo niggas fight other robo niggas

Guy has to touch girls to find out if they are witches.

game predicts the future, epic handshake, something something weeb commits incest

...did some Objectivist faggots turn Atlas Shrugged into a videogame when I wasn't looking?

There's a rope and you have to burn it.

>son fights his father because he's a demon but meets like 4 other faggots along the way

EDF?

You're a washed up writer stuck in a steven king book that you literally self insert into.

to be fair it hit that "bad description" just right, good one user.

Your girlfriend did something really bad, but you forgive her. Your grandma isn't too keen on you fucking her tho, so she goes apeshit and you have to kill granny.

You have to Burn the Rope.

shit, what was it called. Chibi-Robo.

Cry of Fear

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You are an egg.

AssCreed

You're stuck on an island and you need to salvage and rebuild old junk to escape.

A dud?

Alan Wake lol

yes

Yep.

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you search underground caves for a magic cube that isn't a cube

the oven catches fire and you kill and old guy

you try to save a girl for some pussy but she ends up basically as your mom instead

easy, its don't shit your pants.

A bunch of morons crash land on a undeveloped world and attempt to leave whilst doing drugs and crimes against humanity on their down time.

haven't read it, maybe you're right

The most intense game of Sudoku yet. Also time travel

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swashbuckling asshole just wants to steal some gold but a weird cult keeps getting in the way. in the end his friends are dead, the cult makes him a member and he stops being an asshole.

Terminator as a JRPG.

It better be Monster Girl Quest.

To win you got to get someone hanged.

MMBN3?

imperishable night

n-no?
Was the protag a writer in that?

yes

correct

Conker’s Bad Fur Day

An old man starts a war to level up your units before aliens invade to prepare for the invasion of the OTHER aliens.

Dead Space ?

A hellspawn tries to find the journalist that wrote a scandalous story about him

Lost planet?

correct

correct

double correct

XCOM 2

No

Use sentient sperm to build your way up to suck pumps

why was the cow male?

999

not yet

You get stabbed because you wanted mommy milkers but mommy saves you and then you go look for the garden of eden because you saw it in a dream

God of war 3?

Noice

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C&C 3 ?

A washed-up pro wrestler who killed an opponent in the ring and then killed his elderly mother gets his groove back after beating an orphan girl to death with a chair.

boys rule girls drool
child rape
mutation drugs

The puzzle you solved in the first stage kills the girl you rescued. You don't really care.

Dinosaurs and capitalism ruin everything

Game ask you how much you want to fuck the female coprotagonist of the game

You are arbitrarily selected to perform menial paperwork. Unfortunately your office desk is basically the berlin wall and your customers are drug dealers, terrorists, freedom fighters, the worst kind of scum and villainy, and the faux-nation-you-dont-like

>Was the protag a writer in that?
IIRC the story of the game comes from the protagonist's diary but depending on how you play the game, the diary can turn into his suicide note.

A family has a very very rough time getting back home to celebrate grandma's birthday.

You're goddamn right it is

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Virtue's last reward

ARK

papers please

in this super specific plot point from a super specific japanese exclusive game, a boy can make everyone horny by just looking at them

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No.

nier2

Your adoptive daughter gets in a giant robot despite you telling her not to, and then you fight.

Paper, please

Nier: Send The Developer 600 Terabytes of Rule 34 Edition

>people suck the cock of the villain because tumblr humor

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You're in space trying to do your job but everyone is a retard and among them maybe some of them are doing it for a reason.

Your shitty cart pushing job got upgrade to saving humanity

Welcome to Arztotska

orpheus from the present sends you to the post-apocalyptic future where orpheus from the past as a child is so you can send him back to the past so he can send you back to the future in the present to prevent the apocalypse from happening

he actually meant your wife

Incredible Crisis, I think it was called.

Wrong and wrong! Keep guessing.

Borderlands 2

that is correct

I'd really like this to be Legacy of the Wizard but I don't think it is.

These cavemen are terrible detectives. At least three false convictions.

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You decide the ending in the prolouge. Making it possible the rest of the game is fucking pointless.

I never realised your grandma is illias

holy shit that makes the fail state a lot weirder.

you yell at a lemon untill they turns into a snake

Half Life

Jagged Alliance 2

Yeah, it's nier automata

Yes

Galgun
Steins gate

Suikoden V ?

Cute girls play an MMO

You rob a grave only to team up with the ghost of the person whose grave you're robbing to fight a demon.

Yeah.

SpaceStation13.

the one far cry game if you actually wait the 10 minutes

You wake up in an old mine. Horses kill your bros, bird and dog like you.
Then you wake up in an old mine again. Find out that your bros aren't dead but you have to kill your bro because god is hoarding technology and hates scalies.

Just nudge your right stick and walk and you'll get past the desert

I'm surprised no one got this one from last thread so i'll try again

#TrumpReference fails to see that her daughter is RIGHT THERE. Row row fight the power

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you suck up a lot of shit while having help from your double who is made of green cum

Girl regularly fights an older woman wearing a face as her top.

Life is strange

Nope
Yup

SEA monster mash.

A precursor to Mario Party that was also a dating sim.

Sunset Overdrive if it's not

Valkyrie Profile?

You are surprised and attacked by a manticore.

nope.
no, and ireally shouldve finished steains gate.

HINT: It's a movie license game.

I've got nothing user

A jew tries to ruse you into doing his bidding by giving you a book but the mc isnt actually retarded and doesnt fall for it

Virtue's last reward. Come on, it HAS to be that one

You are a warrior that kills god like beings and on your down time you build a comfy village

>Galgun
Incorrect

Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag

No.
This game had a cartoon.

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Yes, pray the shuttle gets called.

dark cloud

it's called something like XX/XY feel the magic or some shit.

It turns out that actually the worst things really do happen at sea. Especially if you don't read the sun. the sun. the sun.

No.

Go get your pet fish back from a baldy so you can fuck it, also get a tiddy ninja side bitch on the way

You break out of an asylum and defeat a priest-murdering serial killer with the power of rock and roll.

get lost

PROLUGE not epilogue.
no.

A wagecuck finds out his boss is really fucking him over after all. It takes a few years before he takes out his former co-worker.

No

Brerb of the Waaw

Nioh

Sunless sea

Not Jesus topples a regime

Xx/XY came after Mario Party.

THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN

S + Shoot

You get letters from a dead person telling you to burn your house down and do so.

intense button mashing session ensues when you face off against a cat in a scenario similar to a certain OVA

...is it Terranigma again?

Your tutorial giver is responsible for all the problems. Also he trained you wrong as a joke. Also he has this ONE WEIRD TRICK (you hate him!)

In Hollow Knight you play as a hollow knight who has to kill the Hollow Knight because he's not hollow enough.

You aren't the chosen one, you're just a god-tier conman that warps reality into retroactively making you the chosen one by larping as him

Technology manages to go backwards and internet is replaced with radio. Protagonist is an alien.

An old leader reawakens and is aided by the power ranges to attack high school students that have ghosts

yeah maybe that was too easy

I was thinking of that game's precursor (which way or something like that) but close enough. Those were weird games.

megaman star force

Ninja Gaiden

Whichever Persona is the one with Hitler in it

Serious Sam, not sure which one.

two troubled siblings are trying to form a community for the cast-out, the downtrodden, the misfits of society, and the unwanted. they want to create a place where they can belong and not be shit on by the rest of the world for being born what they are.

you and your party are having none of this, so you march halfway across the world, slaughtering every one of them you can find, until you find the siblings in their home and kill them. thus saving the day.

Little too obvious I know, but I realised without some kind of lack of sun it could be like 40,000 sea-based games.

Somehow “Sciurus vulgaris” was all I needed to figure it out, but not the fact that the game literally starts with taking a wrong turn while hungover.
A malfunctioning brain is a magical thing.

Correct
Little Inferno?

We made a fuckey wuckey

Dying mom isekai'd you and her daughter using wish magic and turned into a tree. After killing the daughter's long-lost brother, you decide to kill her too.

SRW OG

you play as a mexican furry whose brother has jedi powers, you try to cross the border, trump bad

You understand a certain concept

You sell your baby for profit. Then the baby is stolen by a dragon. A planet dies because of this.

You walk around laying copies of yourself and you cannot be stopped.

Purple-haired people ruin everything.

As someone that never played the games, I'll just say you're right.

megaman zero

The President of the United States fights hippies, Russians, aliens, and a kaiju while also starting his own religion. It's a sequel.

Snatcher

Is it the concept of love?

Wow uh, no but basically I can't fault you for that guess. You can consider yourself correct.

No

An ancient evil awakens

Lee Harvey Oswald's redemption arc as he becomes America's greatest soldier and proves his innocence.

No

the world is fucked up and hateful and that makes the main character's sister sad so she runs away

Jade Empire

Death Stranding

Peace Walker

Saints Row 4?

yep

the sequel to bitchy teenage girls?

Yes.

The world is ending, quick take this book and smack people with it!

Kirby planet robobot

DOOM 2016
Ocarina of Time

Old man and cowboy repeatedly attacked by sports fans while trying to find good real estate.

You got it man. Well done.

persona 2 IS but you are rihgt

gotta be saints row 4

You're supposed to describe it poorly.
Better description would be "faggot wants to give a girl chocolate but ghosts and janitors want to fuck him up"

you kill niggers

You and your new buddy try to stop a hostile real estate developer.

And don't forget as a pair of panties.

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ye

A French man's dying dream is an extremely generic JRPG

I want people to actually solve it.

girl pays her brother's debt by robbing banks and doing block puzzles

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You climb a tower with your partner and bring back other partners to your home, except these partners are silent. A bunch of bitches want your dick and at the end your talking partner betrays you but not really

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you quit your job and go do karoake

I never actually played it so I couldn't remember which one it is

>bro has to kill his bro for the 3rd (2nd) time to stop him from gaining too much power for no reason, also you don’t play as him for 2/3rds of the game. More like 3/4ths.

Yakuza 0.

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SOMA

Eternal sonata or whatever it was called

Zombies fight zombies to keep the zombies from getting out

Halo 4, I will not accept any other answer

Eternal Sonata

Actually no; it's Destroy All Humans! 2 I never played a Saints Row game

nope

Nope, and have no idea if that's even remotely accurate because I never played Kojima's walking sim

Eternal Sonata

Red Dead Redemption

Jolly quartet takes the bait on purpose to kill the fishman. People keep thinking is better to just kill the fishing pole

Yes it is
correct

Kowloon city was such a good idea we're going to build it again but add tooth ache. This goes even worse than you'd expect.