Hey Gordon, did i ever tell you about that time i had gravity gloves and had my own wacky adventure with the gman?

Hey Gordon, did i ever tell you about that time i had gravity gloves and had my own wacky adventure with the gman?

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Don't worry user. If you're too poor for VR you can just pretend it isn't canon. :3

lol

cringe

And did I ever tell you about that time in which I retconned a whole timeline to create this one?

Ahaha, funny isn't?

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If Gordon wasn't a mute he'd have some strong words for her! I like how Valve is being exposed for the hacks they always fucking were once the rose-tinted glasses shattered. You'd think that would be useful information to share but maybe this is going to culminate into some weird abortion where Alyx was always the antagonist of the series or some stupid shit.

Game comes out tomorrow and no one gives a shit. People are spending more time discussing Jill nude mods for Resident Evil 3 than talking about this. Think about that. Yes, it's VR and it's not a sequel, but it's still Half-Life. You would think the hype would be massive or at least SOMETHING with it releasing tomorrow.

The biggest franchise Valve has. The reason Valve is alive today. The reason Steam exists in the first place. The mods that stemmed from it. The modding community and industry impact it has had. The hype for Episode 3 for YEARS. You would think another installment in the series would have at least 50% of that hype. No one cares. I guess they moved on or realized Valve was always shit.

They should have just stuck with making a regular ass prequel
Like have Alyx find parts to make the gravity gun and have her kill a bunch of combine to save Dog as the end.
Or something like that.

its 2020, its time for women to take their rightful place as our new leaders. if you have a problem with a woman being the true hero of the half life saga then just go back and play your shitty gray brown generic bald man fps games of the past. female leaders are here to stay. forever.

Could have just 'remade' Half-Life 2 into VR. They're not against being lazy and milking games dry. No one would have been upset with that.

oh you've got a gravity gun gordon. i used to have much more practical and technically advanced gravity gloves years ago. but your gun is still cool i guess. brb, gman is calling.

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Yes actually.

what i'm laughing at? oh its nothing. gman just sent me a cute text, its an inside joke between him and me. you wouldnt understand.

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>If Gordon wasn't a mute
He isn’t one, retard. That’s Chell you’re thinking of.

Alyx was always the 'true hero' of Half-Life you tranny. No one gave a shit about some autistic wagie smacking things with a crowbar after his bad day at work. This was at a time when it was genuine though. You'll notice games these days force diversity and women especially to be leads in order to drive more sales from sóyboys because they sure as fuck can't do it by making a quality product.

I'm imagining the explanation is that the gloves are way less powerful. They can't pick up anything heavier than you can hold, and they don't have the ability to shoot stuff.
I really hope it doesn't do a time travel plot where Alyx secretly knows shit about the future. It really wouldn't fit with her character

lol

What? When has Gordon ever spoken a single line of dialogue in the entire series?

>people here are mad that Alyx had baby-dick science-fair gravity tech that can only manipulate small objects a few years before hl2 and somehow think it's more advanced than the gravity gun

lol, why are you wearing my old HEV suit gordon? you look totally silly in it. i used to have my period all over that thing. did you even hose it off?

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xen? yeah ive been there. no big deal

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It's just that Valve sucks at writing. Yeah, okay, but the gravity gun is this bulky and heavy tool that looks very industrial. The gloves are weaker but they are WAY more advanced. I'm sure it wouldn't be that difficult to 'upgrade' them. Maybe they'll need additional hardware to function at the power level of a gravity gun. You could probably strap that onto your back using some backpack type contraption or maybe your arm... Or maybe a SUIT perhaps?

Just throwing it out there. What do I know? I'm sure Valve totally knows what they're doing. They released Artifact after all.

this. its power is limited to just pulling object towards you unlike gravity gun which can hold objects in the air

Gordon is only mute to the player's point of view to aid in self insertion faggotry. In universe he talks.

Ask Link and Mario. It’s so the player can be further immersed.

They've already said in interviews that it's not a time travel plot

It's not time travel, it's alternate universe. HL2Ep3 is treated as happening off screen, with Alyx trying to use the Borealis to change the past to save her father. It results in her destroying her old HL2 timeline and replacing it with this new HLA timeline.

We are never getting HL3 because the old HL2 timeline has been destroyed. Next game in the series will be called HLB.

Is OP having a mental breakdown or something?

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>HLB
Half Life Balyx?

>He was a good friend

Hunt Down the Freeman came out and everyone realized they didn't really care about Half-Life.

Lmao holy shit the poorfag seethe is incredible

Barney.

Half life ‘06

Shes literally not strong enough to use the gravity gun Gordon uses.

Maybe they'll redesign the gravity gun to look more advanced.

>Hey Gordon, you know we need to repopulate the earth once the combine are gone, why don't you fuck my daughter, please Gordon I want grandkinds before I die.
Eli was such a good friend.

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none of that sounds out of place seeing as hl2 establishes her as previously using the gravity gun and having been contacted by the gman.

i'm sure the plot of hla isn't especially good, but this is a retarded thing to nitpick it for

>tfw we have visual VR now but still no smell-o-vision for Alyx's famous purple panties

>They've already said in interviews that it's not a time travel plot
They didn't say anything like that.
>It's a prequel, but not really a prequel.
>Then what is it?
>But it's not time travel, you'll see.
It's 100% alternative timeline or some shit.

this appeals to the male fantasy

and he was a good friend

u can't wear metal gloves in a metal suit that already has metal gloves built into the suit otherwise gordon would probably be using the gravity gloves assuming that they have the same strength as the gravity gun
also the gravity gun was mainly just used for lifting crates and barrels and shit before gordon came along and used it for more

>please Gordon I want grandkinds before I die.
I could creampie her in front of you and it wouldn't change a thing at this point.

Maybe she'll be from the universe where Cave Johnson bought Black Mesa and stopped the cascade experiment.

If the resonance cascade never happened, the invasion from Xen never happened, Gordon never killed Nihilanth and the portal storm that called the Combine to Earth never occured

>All the Yas Forumscel cope over Alyx being a stronger, smarter, and genuinely more interesting than Self-insertman

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>caring about "cannon" in valve games

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inb4 some autist bitches about my typo

half life has always been shit just like every other valve game, people see that now.

Unironically even Valve doesn't care about canon. Their official stance is that there's no canon.

Don't forget the time travel

there's only one thing i hate more than poltards and its the resetera fags with the sole capabilty to vomit posts like this

>I guess they moved on or realized Valve was always shit.
Le sigh. I was right there with you until you decided to veer off into the realm of retard. If people were done with Steam it wouldn't be the most popular gaming platform on PC, you dumb mong.

The reason nobody is interested is because its VR. Nobody gives a shit about it. Its an interesting gimmick, and its even widespread enough that most people at least know somebody that has a VR, but think about it. How many times have you been over to someone else's house to play on their VR? How often has someone else expressed interest in using yours?

Its a pain in the ass to set things up, hardly anywhere near as casual as just picking up a controller in any old room and playing a game. And everyone has to clear out of the room so that they don't get hit by your windmilling arms, ensuring there can be no interesting discussion, laughter or fun during play outside of the game itself. It really isn't a "social" gaming medium. More of an isolationist one.

So nobody is talking about it, nobody played it, and nobody cares. You will, however hear a lot about people discussing RE3 runs, comparing strategies and mods and other goodies for the game.

If Valve wanted a real release, they should have released Half Life 3. Period, full stop. Nobody was ever going to care about anything marked "Half Life" if it was just another stopover episode - the only reason anyone is still interested at all is to see how it ends at this point. But it still would have sold if not for "VR" tacked onto the end. Go ahead, prove me wrong. I'll wait.

>Women
>Leaders
>Heroes

Pick one (1).

>How many times have you been over to someone else's house to play on their VR?
First time I experienced VR was on PS4. We were drinking for hours prior to that and I vomited all over a girl I've been flirting with after maybe 2 mins of using the headset.
3/10, would not recommend even if in hindsight it was fairly amusing

She's gonna be fully modelled, right?

>drive more sales from sóyboys
the actual sales are in coomers, not basedboys and overweight feminists that will never buy 'representative' games anyway

Neither is Chell, pretty damn sure both cases it's the games making jokes about them not talking.

He said "canon", not "cannon"

brainlet

Oh nice, the poorfags are actually coming up with creative cope threads now. Good effort OP!

this board has been in full meltdown over VR for almost two years. ever since it became clear that it really wasn't going away, and rather would just continue slowly growing, was when the over-the-top VR-tortanic shit really started. the shitshow in 24 hours is going to be something else entirely.

This is true, it's thanks to the rare Yas Forums VR thread that I even got into VR (assumed it was a lost cause after the Facebook acquisition)
HL:A is a miniature singularity event for gaming tech, seeing how the landscape is altered by its release is arguably more intriguing than the game itself.

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anyone got those spoilers i've been hearing about