What are some kinos to keep my teenage kids distracted during this?

but how do I fuck my stepmoms if my father is at home. Also how will I cope with betraying my best friend then?

Why is this pasta being reposted everywhere

>proud that you're walking around all day with shit on your asscheeks

>better get them some new video games lol
yeah like I can fucking afford it right now. I had to pay scalper prices just to get TP and paper towels and I'm not even hoarding

Why did this have to happen around Doom Eternal release?

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It keeps working

I don't know why but moms talking about their sons jerking off is sexy to me

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it's a meme you dip

>not using an empty water bottle to cum in and empty it every 2 weeks when it gets to the halfway point
just hide it behind your computer monitor and have it ready nearby when you're about to shoot

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Are you retarded. I don't even shit everyday. I don't even eat 2k calories
Who are you? Boogie? wingsofredemption???

>make retarded post
>get called a retard
>haha im trolling them

>mfw I just moved into a new house and got myself a toilet with an ass shower

As long as there's running water I'll never need tp again

>he doesn't have a cumdump nympho 6/10 gf whose interests consist almost solely of vidya and being fucked
OH NO NO NO NO NO HAHAHAHAHA

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>you're either a skinny, malnourished twig idiot or a giant fat retard

brilliant.

also you numbskulls can just take a shower after you poop, you know that right?

Here in the civilized world we use an old pair of underwear as a cumrag and throw it in the wash when it gets too rank.

No need to be wasteful. When I was a teenager I just came in my boxers/sleep pants.

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Literally just lie down, lay a shirt you've already worn across your torso and go to town. Same convenience of jerking off with a sock and all the pleasure of skin-to-skin contact that comes with open masturbation.

I still cum in my underwear/sleep pants actually, and I'm nearly 30.

>1 roll per day

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>I use wet wipes
Enjoy your destroyed plumbing when all the plumbers are out sick with a virus, dumbass
I just use Soft & Strong paper that I moisten in the sink

Man fuck them. It's just sex. Fill her up whenever

Nigga I use way too much TP and even I don't use 1 roll a day.

If you're stupid enough to fall for a copypasta, then yeah.

Hell fat free lasts only like a week
People are fucking morons
All the meat gone, all the eggs gone all milk gone
besides almond milk
I had to eat cocopuffs with one of those premade chocolate milks

Works on my machine. You only clog your pipes if you ball together 5-6 at once like a fucking 12 year old. 1 or 2 is enough most of the time.

thank you darling

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I just use a towel personally. Or just cum on my chest and take a shower.

Fucking americans I swear
It's been 20+ years since I ever used toilet paper
I just wash my ass in the shower.

I had one of those in highschool, i lost drive when she literally broke my dick while riding me and sent me to the hospital

Theoretically, you can freeze them. Frozen milk actually lasts a long time. On the order of 5-6 months.

This is how we used to have milk during Hurricane season on the gulf coast.

Trust me, It pisses me off too and I'm American. I'd do anything for bidets to be standard in our homes.

lmao get trolled

Pretty much, thats the point.

I cum into a trash bin but I still need to wipe my dick dry afterwards

also I'm so sorry for you, having a pencil dick that can actually fit into a water bottle must be really rough

INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENCAP!

I do this whenever my shit coincides with my shower, but sometimes it just doesn't line up like that

Who the fuck uses toilet paper for jerking off? I just blow the load on my belly/dick and let it dry. It dries in like 2 minutes and it doesn't even smell unless you don't shower for 2 days..

For me, it's the hand shower.

you got rekt

Bruh

just boil the milk retard
it doesn't affect the taste, that's why UHT milk exists

>The average person uses 1 roll per day.

wat

I don't shower so I can't do that

>doesnt smell

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shut the fuck up you quizling

Personally I’m happy the world is becoming hikki

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reminder that cum is full of nutrients for the sperm cell and you're wasting it by not eating it up

you can freeze it

This. I just cum in my mouth and swallow it. Free protein and no mess. Tastes weird the first few times but you get used to it

Here's a secret. It does smell, you're just used to it.

Suck my cock you hoarding subhuman

I always eat my cum, tastes good and it helps your system

I just nut into a glass labeled with the name of whatever pornstar i just jerked to and let it sit. At the end of the week i tally it up and add it to the log.

I only shit once a week, i something wrong with me