Do any other schizophrenics play vidya

Any stories? What's the weirdest thing you've sensed

What games are essential schizo-core?

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>never tell anyone
I told my friend I heard people arguing behind me early in my bathroom. Ofc there wasn't anyone there. My friend said that it's nothing to worry about if it is very rare. If not for him I would be still overthinking it. Have good people around you.

le sable
senua
disco elysium
yume nikki
space funeral
the white room
any thief game, but especially 3 (minus thi4f)
The Strange and Somewhat Sinister Tale of the House at Desert Bridge
lsd dream emulator
work time fun

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there's that schizo user that always talks about big boss and venom.
is barneyfag a schizo? he posts here sometimes so I assume he plays vidya.

Not vidya necessarily but I'll talk.

Most of my childhood I spent getting violently raped by a sitter and my mom either knew about it and didn't care or was actually facilitating it. I told everyone I knew including my school and my mom told them I was autistic and very creative. Stemming from all that I got a bad case of BPD and psychotic depression.

I've never seen a fully realized person, just implications that there were people present, watching me while I was relaxed or asleep, ready to dart away when I stirred. I've never seen anything that wasn't there, but my body due to PTSD indicates to my brain that I have, so when I get up in the morning, I 'see' ankles, elbows, pieces of clothing rushing out of every room. During a specific period of anxiety, my body reacts to nearly any dark room I come into contact with like banks or stores, after 15 years of therapy and psychiatry, I have it under control with medication and coping skills but I 'see' them everywhere even if I know it's just a delusional squirt of chemicals in my brain trying to trigger a fight or flight response. The psychology of it is pretty interesting. Every day, you're surrounded by things that look human but aren't, abused and broken people who just look the part.

So in short, it's never anything cool, it's just echos of trauma you can't put away.

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still sort of convinced that barneyfag is a sentient ai

One of the best schizo games of all time is Spec Ops : The Line. Short and sweet, great gameplay and wonderful assortment of items and guns to try.

well, desu, i don't know if i'm schizo or just obsessive
i don't really know the difference between delusion and obsession. i'm seeing a psychiatrist and they said the way things are aren't severe enough to warrant in-patient treatment and abilify gave me god-awful side effects so we just kind of monitor it.
paranoia of people hearing my thoughts seems schizo, but i'm not actually diagnosed. i like talking to other people who deal with intrusive thoughts and stuff like that because it helps me learn how to deal with it.

Hello Charlotte

this probably doesnt have anything to do with schizo stuff but does anyone else get really vivid aural hallucinations? it's typically when im trying to fall asleep. not quite when im on the verge of falling asleep but when im on the verge of being on the verge of falling asleep. i hear my name being said over and over in a bunch of voices that i recognize, i hear random full coherent sentences overlapping each other in rapid succession, again all in voices i recognize. i also occasionally hear music i've never heard before and is completely original as far as i can tell, and it's so vivid i could swear its being played live, not anything like just having a song stuck in your head. none of it really bothers me but sometimes its really cool. it only gets annoying when occasionally i'll hear my name so loudly it will jar me awake.

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On that note, doesn't Vampire: The Masquerade have a dedicated schizo mode with one of the clans you can pick?

So schizophrenia is exactly like being on acid?

I do. I use an app on my phone called Baby White Noise Generator that allows you to add up to 18 sources / styles of white noise. Download it and try it, it's free, uses the piezoelectric speaker in your phone and I found I'm able to sleep much better with CONSISTENT white noise. I do train, airplane and fan, sleep like a baby if I'm not stressed.

If you are functioning you arent a schizo. I sometimes get the feeling that other people are listening to my thoughts, and im not a schizo because i can understand that these are my own thoughts.
Schizophrenia is where you cant distinct your thoughts from reality. Where the voices in your head are actual voices.

I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic, I like cute girl games and Escape from Tarkov.

yo wassup same. Used to get bad enough that I thought people were following me and it would give me full on sobbing panic attacks. Would obsess over cars driving by my house. Games and having a stream on in the background like white noise or radio is extremely helpful.
Seroquel and Effexor have me fuckin really set though. Even eliminated what was almost a constant "radio" type noise- sometimes a christian am talk radio or otherwise indistinct music that would play any time i tried to sleep or was sitting quietly in silence long enough.

i think it does
on a similar note i'd love to see a game where you could choose a "trait" or something that would equate to any sort of mental illness which would effect the way the game plays out
i fear it would end up as some pretentious sjw bullshit with a "message" rather than a neat exploration of what it would be like to live with some perception altering brain abnormality

That sounds absolutely fucking terrifying.

yeah i am an unironic diagnosed schizo. my favorite game is slashem extended

Fuck, man

Imagine an acid trip that never goes away

No, but I get these nauseating recursive thoughts that feel like they're turning my brain into mush. Sort of feels like an itchy nose that physically cannot be scratched, except it's in the mental plane and amplified by a hundred times. Resting makes it worse and it's near impossible to walk in a straight line while enduring it in the morning. Do I have something like brain inflammation or intermittent OCD?

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interesting that mention white noise, i have pretty good tinnitus that is fairly loud, but it doesnt bother me at all and i sleep great barring having to get up at ridiculous hours for work. it sounds like a constant hissing white noise that's pretty relaxing if it's quiet in a room.
doesn't bother me at all, it usually just signals me that i'm about to fall asleep, and the occasional times that i hear music it can be really cool, most of the time it's classical but sometimes it will transition into a different genre entirely. i'ts been a thing since i was kid, and back then i used to think it was me hearing the thoughts of people i knew since i would hear them having conversations. now it's just sort of soothing.

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I'm on seroquel too and I 100% agree a stream of just any source of white noise helps it out a ton. I broke my leg about 10 years ago and had 2 private detectives following me for 26 months following that injury. I would routinely speak to them because they were friendly. I'd ask them why they were watching me and they were very up front about it. 'We're watching you to see if you do a keg-stand or lift something more than 30lbs so we can get our client's settlement money back.' (I won like 400k in a lawsuit from the injury, most of it went to medical bills) Following that, I don't even trust people who follow me down the soup aisle. Sometimes I feel like people are following me on the road and I end up driving a lot more than usual because I refuse to turn into my driveway to reveal where I live to what I'm sure is just random people, but you know how it is. I'm sorry we're sick but it's good to know there's more people out there making it like me and you.

t. 300mg instant release seroquel once daily 4mg xanax daily user

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I've had that happen before. Once at work I explicitly heard someone yell 'user" incredibly loudly, like they were right next to me, and turns out no one said my name and I've had it before when falling asleep. Very rarely though. 3 times maybe in my entire life.

When you are about to fall asleep you can get to do all sorts of interesting stuff. Look up hypnagogic state. I once managed to create very vivid imagery with tactile sensation that seemed to have higher resolution than real life. Also music creativity, but it is all very short lived and difficult to replicate consistently.

I had a period of several years where I would get really high and then take a shower and in the white noise of the shower hear my parents arguing or my mom yelling at me or asking what i was doing
then a few years later i was walking in the hot summer and imagined the sun's rays were like small dancing cartoon penises entering my skin pores

i'm pretty sure it was the weed though + my shitty life

They aren't schizo just like personality disorder + autism spectrum disorder.

sound design in thief 1 and 2 where you essentially listen to the sounds of empty rooms and various characters and creatures idle dialogue is absolutely perfect for schizo core imo. The others I feel are kind of a meme.

sounds like textbook ocd. i used to get thoughts like that when i was in my teens and smoked a lot of weed (which may have had something to do with it? i stopped doing drugs about 10 years ago). one day i was so stoned out of my mind, and my brain got stuck in a loop where i couldn't control my thoughts. during that i felt like time had stopped and i just gave up. i was convinced i was going to be like that forever and i sort of just shut down. then i threw up and shit myself but it got better after that. then i got older and the thoughts just sort of stopped happening, i dunno. it was a long time ago.

the music thing used to happen to me all the time, it was kinda cool, especially since i was getting into playing guitar, all my friends and family and even strangers said i had a ton of talent, but it stopped in my junior or senior year of high school, when i stopped playing guitar and now i'm just an old nobody.

Whenever I did mushrooms I got a lot of recursive thoughts. That's all. Thanks for reading my blog.

nice blog post faggot

I'm very concerned that I'm on the cusp of male mental illness manifesting often in the mid 20s

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they could have schizotypal PD

where does OCD obsessions become delusions? when you lose insight into them?

Sounds like you could have sued them for even more for psychological trauma

I owed 300k in hospital bills, I had 3 surgeries and didn't walk for more than two years, I just wanted them to stop raping my credit and let me move on with my life. I could've let it go to trial but it would've lasted several more years and they'd gotten in touch with people from grade school who said I was a dick head, it's insane. I paid my bills, I got like 50-60k and moved on.

I'd tell anyone I care about, unless you have no choice, don't get involved with courts or lawsuits.

Ah yeah. Makes about as much sense as anything else. I've read a bit here and there and mental health diagnosis is so wretchedly obtuse.

used to think that having my fears and delusions confirmed by reality would be sort of reassuring in a way but even the simple way you described this tells me no, it would still be horrifying. I'm glad i've found my space too, user. Just living in my own little place in the world.

like you dont already know I do

Yes, the whole game is rewritten with some additional foreshadowing and bizarre dialogue choice alterations
Malkavian

i looked that up and it sounds about right, and it also says that it could be pretty distressing for people with anxiety disorders, which i think got burned out of me a long time ago. i was super angry as a teen but now i think im really relaxed. maybe too relaxed as i typically don't respond with stress or anxiety even in situations where it would absolutely be warranted. neat to see that other anons in this thread have had similar experiences. i honestly hope it never stops, its really neat. i just wish i could hold on to it better, i feel like musical geniuses like mozart might have had experiences like these, but managed to remember them. i am no musical genius however.
i honestly have no idea, but there could be some credibility to what you're saying. my anxiety fucking vanished at a very specific point in my life after i got kicked out of the house when i was 17, my mom couldn't put up with my shit anymore (though i think i got it from her because she was just as neurotic). i moved away with jack shit for money, couch surfed for a while, ended up in chicago and lived there for a few years and then moved to saint louis where i spent most of my life. i think what changed was the huge shift in my life. suddenly i didnt have time to think about myself, and more had to think about taking care of myself. i had to get a job and find someplace to live, got by earning beans for money and scraping by in a shitty economy where i could barely pay my rent each month and still eat. i was smoking a metric fuckton of weed at the time which didn't help with my money situation but at some point i think the part of my brain that was introspecting too much just gave up. now i have no stress or anxiety, and sometimes even anhedonia which might be bad? all in all im not really sure. i think it was just the huge shift in my lifestyle that did it, which could probably effect someone extremely negatively, depending on who they are.

You should read They Look Like People

extremely underrated post

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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome

smoking weed isn't good for mental health. Glad the legalization means overall use by kids and the like has gone way down. Wish fags like joe rogan could cool their retarded overprotectiveness and have like a sensible discussion of marijuanna and its interaction with mental health. I've experienced drug induced psychotic episodes and its not something i'd wish on anyone.

this reminds me of an observation from freud or jung that said the less internal obstacles somebody has, the more external obstacles they have, & vice versa

Stop being a hikki/NEET and fix your shit

yeah, weed induced psychosis is a real thing and people with fragile / unstable personalities should stay away from it. you'll never hear weed bros mention that at all though

I dont have schizophrenia but I do think im going delirious

i think i have some of this too, but comparatively more mild. i hear voices, like my family arguing with each other or someone calling my name while listening to music. i also see these lights and movements in the corners of my eyes. it kinda freaks me out. maybe feeling like someone is recording my every move during high school didnt help matters either. idk.

Its miserable and can happen out of the blue as well. Like you can just one day be the kind of person that loves to see "just how high" you can get and the next day be thrown into 8 hours of fucking pain from one hit.

Weeds cool. Drugs should be legal and regulated. I wish humanity didn't constantly throw faggoty monkey wrenches in every good thing though

I can't believe it, user. You solved all mental illness forever. We thank you.