Coronavirus is here

your caretaker or the food you eat will bring it in to you.

jokes on you I only pay 900€/y and some kind of workers-employee association gives 300€ back to my father because I go to university

>have basically no mandatory attendance
>i'd have to study anyways
unless the exams are cancelled nothing changes

honestly I'm glad I get to work from home. Shit is cash and I have a treadmill so I'll just get my walking in there or playing onechanbara on wii

>mfw living in texas
>they keep brining infected coroniggers here for quarantine
>can have outbreak at anytime
>rammstein playing in september for first time in a near decade
Don't you fuck me coronavirus. Don't you fuck me.

>less boomers
>less chinese
>universities closed
It's a win win situation

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>tfw live in Japan and everyone is paranoid except my company
fuck my boss, I wanna work at home

>been a neet for a year
>family now forced to stay at home
>'user how do you do it?'

>not a zoomer so have work
>work at a hotel so both have a higher chance of contracting coronavirus and a lower chance that the place will just shut down for a while

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>nothing shut down
Fucking lame

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>Actually working in Japan

You did this to yourself enjoy your 過労死

This whole thing is a fake narrative and it's fucking spooky how effective it is at convincing people. Even the fucking stock market crashed again over it. I wonder to what end all these governments are doing it. For once I really wish to be well connected with the elites, when normally I just despise them. What machinations are carried out while everyone's distracted?

I go back to work today after a week off. Had to use the rest of my annual holiday hours. I'm in the UK and I work in retail, how fucked am I?

>parents both high risk
>it's spreading in their city
fuck bros...

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>eat free meals at work for 2+ years
>now have to work from home due to virus
>can't remember how to cook

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>implying I went to classes anyway

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So our species finally slowly dying?

apply heat to organic matter til it becomes palatable

it's okay as long as I can fug asian girls

>all the desk jobs shut down cause they dont really work anyways
>my job continues like normal and doesnt even take precautions

well this is what i get for being poor

You can do it user. Buy a rice cooker with some rice, chicken, vegetables, eggs, granola or nuts, some frozen tendies or something, ramen noodles. All of this is pretty easy to cook and not too expensive. You can even buy premarinated or seasoned chicken if you want to keep it easy.

>Don't do it long enough
>Get food poisoning so you don't have to die from corona

Based

My father is already dying from cancer so I dont know if him gettibg this shit and get done quickly is a good thing or not. Anyway I wouldnt want to be the direct cause.
Im so angry at our useless rulers that did nothing to contain the infection

University employees are welfare queens. Scum of the earth.
Nothing worse than small town America with a University where all the shitheads go work because it pays well.

he wont get it, dude are you stupid?

I'll cook for you user, as long as you let me suck your cock.

>>rammstein playing in september for first time in a near decade

I don't know what that is, but stay safe, user. Try to buy as much canned food and drinks as you can, and stay home. And stay home, don't bother. Doesn't matter if that is a movie, a play, a band play, whatever. Better safe than sorry.

same bro

It's not a fucking sci-fi zombie outbreak, basic hygiene greatly reduces risk of infection even if you literally sucked an infected person's dick, then you can still luck out if your immune system is on point or happens to be genetically resistant, then the volune infectious bacteria you've been attacked by also might be too low, etc.

It's a super flu by scientific standards which means it's just a stronger fucking flu so it's more effective at giving you pneumonia. But guess what, you can have pneumonia and not die, happens to people pretty frequently. You know what does lower your chances? Stressing the fuck out and convincing yourself that you can and will get sick, you can and will die. Placebo is a fucking crazy efficient little thing.

Maybe not but our society will definitely collapse anyway

I work not far from one of those massive fedex hubs and every employee I talk to is fucking scared because 90% of the shit they handle there is chink shit and the company is doing except bringing in more chink shit to handle.
I wouldn't be surprised if someone was already infected but swept under the rug by their jewish overlords. They do this shit all the time went someone dies from an accident.

I'm a zoomer with a boomer mindset.

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Shit man I guess imma eat dat sweet Corona when my VR headset arrives. Half Life: Alyx, the deadliest game ever made.

Viruses don't last for that long on random surfaces since they're not actual self-sustaining organisms. I think it's very unlikely that they'd get infected because of a package.

>University closed
>College was just about to end
>Classes will probably get extended and overtake summer vacation
FUUUUCK!

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yeah fedex has done nothing. i doubt the other places have either.

i guess the chances are low the virus survives that long on some box, but personally i touch like at least a few thousand packages a day.

>worrying about some package that sat on trucks, ships, planes, etc for days
>already community spread across the US
are people retarded?

they interrupted tv networks with special edition of the news yesterday evening
t. pastanigger

Have you ever heard of exponential growth? You sound fucking retarded

>already have dozens of confirmed local transmissions in my province
>government still won't announce anything

Fuck it. I ain't going to work anymore. Can't wait for a month of NEET life coming my way before summer starts.

It doesn't last long outside of a body so unless some chink came with the packageyou're good

This. My routine was already "wake up and study the whole day until the next semester starts". Now that I don't have lessons, nothing changes.

>my country doesnt give a fuck
>nothing is shut down
>going to work
>taking care of old parents
>both are virus's target audience
>cant leave them since they rely on me
>cant not go to work or theyll fire me and i cant make money
>virus patient on the news not a 2 hour drive from me
Fuck everything.

Sounds hella based to me

who cares its just a flu man relax

It's a fucking flu. It's not a super plague. A flu.

>Have you ever heard of exponential growth?
if that was any true we would have billions of infected and 2millions dead by now according to exponential growth

I wish something would wipe 99% of humans out

>day off
>can't even think of anything fun to do
I wish I was 14 again and days off meant everything

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So you are retarded

Exponential growth doesn't work with at least some containment measures in place
Early predictions were for Hubei alone to get over 500k infections, yet look at them.

Preventive measures have slowed it down measurably. But the US is fucked unless we do what China and Italy is doing now, lockdown

>colleges shutting down
>online classes, so days off come from if I can get the work done in time
I have the week off because of scheduling, but I still move onto the next class after the weekend, regardless of if the virus makes the campus it's new home or not.

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that's retarded

economy is more important dont you know user, who cares that economy will matter jack shit if millions could be dead

>mother called me and said she got a fever

B-BROS...

My work schedule is packed this march. It's only the 10th and I'm already feeling exhausted as fuck. I just want to stay at home and play Atelier games. Corona-chan, please don't forget about me

it will happen, but you'll be gone as well, hehehehe

...

hehehe

Fucking IT work sucks balls so hard.

>got sick in winter
wow man must be serious lmfao

The only retard here is the person without an argument, which is you. It's easy to knee-jerk disagree. Prove me wrong, faggot. Deconstruct my argument and show everyone I'm wrong.

It's springtime.

She lives near the tropics.

People just have to stay home and be NEETs for awhile like in this thread, what’s the problem

hehehehehe

Mr. Goldberg told me I have to be ealier today.

Swine flu fucked over USA so hard exactly because it's almost impossible to lock the place down.

I’m not going to spoon feed you, go back to wearing your tin foil hat and we will see in two weeks whether the US is fucked or not

no it isn't get a calendar

>work gives everybody a free pass to stay home
>half of the staff does it
>doesn't make any sense because it's a physical labor job that can't be worked from home
>"we're not reaching our goals, guys"

I don't understand what's going on

Let those retards contract it and kill their boomer parents keeping a roof over their heads

I think I'm going to tidy up my bookshelf. It's full of random crap everywhere, I'm going to select what's useful or not.

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I'm doing shitty grunt work for a large company that's in the middle of a multi billion dollar project. There's no chance I'll be I'll be getting days off unless this shit goes into full crisis mode.

>tfw in the UK
>government policy is to let it burn through the population so that tory-supporting multinationals don't lose out on revenue

>in florida
>worried disney is gonna blow up anyday now

who could have foreseen some chink tourist with no personal hygiene infected 10,000 people in one day ohhh my gooood