>"Is this thing on?"
>*heavy breathing*
>"In case I don't survive, I just wanted to *gulp* make a recording of what happened here."
>"I've barricaded myself in here."
>"The things...I've s-seen."
>*heavy thumping sound*
>"Oh God, they're here!"
>*splintering wood*
>"Oh no, they're breaking through!!!"
>*sound of door breaking down"
>"NO!! STAY BACK!!"
>*struggling sound*
>"AARrrggghrgahbaalaARRGG!!!!"
>*static*
*pickup another audiolog*
>"Is this thing on?"
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>any Dead Space game
>you're told FIVE FUCKING TIMES that you need to cut the limbs
I'd argue they think we're fucking dumb but then I remember the interviews about the different braindead beta testers companies need to deal with
It's pretty funny when you realize that a lot of stuff has to be pointed out over and over again because beta testers apparently have brain damage
I get EA type companies using them because some cock gargling CEO who has never played a game in his life thinks those metrics matter, but even fucking Valve used them (to their detriment) in HL2
He has to be exaggerating. There is NO way. Even a literal sperg would figure out they're running in circles within 5 minutes.
hell they even do it in 2
theres also the one from dishonored where the missions had to be dumbed down considerably. its just the price of going mainstream.
You have no fucking idea how retarded beta testers can be dude, look up any game dev messages and you will see LOTS of retarded beta testers that end up forcing the devs to treat them like a toddler
So what if there's some retards, things shouldn't be brought down to the lowest common denominator, they should be actively excluded, particularly for M rated titles that are made for adults.
Greg... Coomer?
But why do they do this? Is this really a common occurrence? You'd think they'd realize that they're making the experience worse for people who actually play video games when they take out all complexity.
>this except its a written note
It's extremely common sadly and it gives the devs a skewed view on the difficulty and complexity of the game which ends up in games being dumbed down for the testers to even you know test the games.
half-life has never been about stuff like that anyway. its supposed to be a fairly smooth and cinematic ride. getting lost, even if its stupid as fuck, probably raises a red flag for the devs.
System Shock 2 was a masterpiece but introducing the world to logs is an unforgiveable sin. They are ALL complete shit. Instead of SHODAN whispering sweet nothings into your ear it is ALWAYS some boring stupid shit.
yep, that's a real Valve employee, look up his name, you can find his twitter account and he's mentioned on the half-life wiki
Valve playtesters are on a whole different level of stupidity than most, that's why we will never fucking see the cooler concepts they came up with in Portal 2 and why Portal 2's puzzles were dumbed down so much compared to the first game.
Pretty sure there was a zombie or some shit in L4D that had to be cut because playtesters couldn't not kill themselves with it or something.
Fucking vtm does that like three times.
You vastly over estimate the intelligence of the average person.
Most people are fucking stupid. We're talking "how do you even breath" tier. I've never liked this sentiment because it very easily becomes "everyone but me is dumb" but holy shit after a certain point you just have to accept it.
>mann vs machine used to be have randomized team colors on each class and grey robots
>play testers kept shooting at human players instead of the fucking robots
So now its red team vs blue robots.
>can't discern a RED or BLU human shape from a grey and very angular robot silhouette
dear god that's a whole new level
There were audio logs in the first game you dunce.
>Playing vtmb
>Exploring some dudes mansion
>He's recorded like 10 audio diaries and left them strewn throughout the mansion
>Instead of just sitting in his study or whatever to record his diaries, he apparently lugs these big ass single use analog tape recorders around and makes recordings in random hallways and leaves them there
>You discover them in chronological order according to your linear progress through the map, despite the fact that the owner doesnt have to find keys and solve puzzles to travel through his own house and would have no reason to place them in such a way
Grout was literally insane, so you could excuse him doing that.
Malkavians work in mysterious ways
Shut up faggot you're probably 12.
MALKAV MADE HIM DO IT
fuck this gay earth
the real reason is that beta testers are being paid to do it
so they treat it like a job: half-ass it without paying attention and do the minimum required to not be fired.
Was going to post this. The first time I actually thought it was supposed to be a parody because you were in a "haunted mansion" except you were supposed to be the scary vampire. But no, they were serious.
The game is not nearly as good as anyone says it is, and it only goes down as the game goes on. Don't know why its memed to death. The story and dialogue was decent though.
A lot of companies just have the employee's families beta test for them. I believe Valve is one of them. So literally imagine your mom beta testing a game, when she can barely even use a computer.
grout isn't dead and has been the one emailing you cryptic hints the entire game
What's the point of making a title aimed at adults but geared towards the capabilities of a kindergartner?
Retards should be excluded from all forms of media, they can stick to children's shit instead of being catered to.
the sole purpose of triple A games is to make money for shareholders. If you think otherwise, you are either underage or brainwashed.
True gaming died long ago.
He's fucking mad.
>You can find the guy who made the audio log
>He's perfectly fine and was just overeacting
Name one game where this happens.
What's a game where the audio logs actually enhance the experience by being interesting at all to listen to? I liked listening to the audio logs in Receiver.
>pick up audio log
>"Hello... ? Is this thing on?
>Am I all alone?
>Is anyone there?
>I need a bigger gun
>Help if you can
>Please wake me up
>Not to sound cliche
>But this world sucks!
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The only acceptable audio logs are the ones that happened before the incident or ones that tell you the password for a safe or some shit.
In some games I listen to the first 2 or 3 then just ignore them. When it is done right it really can add to the story.
Fallen Order for example had some good ones. Though they were a bit too long. Broke up the gameplay too much.
There are also times when you have these full audio logs but then come across unvoiced dialog when talking to NPC's. Just seems odd.
I can't think of the game but this has happened.
I remember that audio log for some chick in Mass Effect who you come across before finding her log. You have the option to spare her or kill her. Killing her is the right choice cause she is a scumbag.
Killing is always the right choice.
Journals in the first few RE games were based. Way better than audio log bullshit. David's Memo and Merc's Pocketbook from RE3 still stick with me to this day.
If a playtester spends more than five minutes in a cave because of a fucking turn, then their playthough should be immediately disregarded
It's a sentiment that you will automatically have if you ever work in retail, or work with baby boomers in general. The majority of them are literally incapable of just following directions unless they're forced to, which is why they're clinically incapable of operating a credit card reader without being walked through it by the cashier
>why did he write "AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH" instead of just say it?
In Nioh i kept running in circles at the tower of london for like 1 hour because i thought it was somehow randomly generated. Mind you i was fucking drunk while it happened, so i have that going for me.
Felt pretty stupid when i started playing again after couple of weeks while sober.
kino
it's like that George Carlin joke.
"think of how moronic and stupid the average person is. Now realize for that to be the average, half of them have to be even dumber than that."
Why does the recording device always stop before the gore kicks in, even though the tape is in perfect condition and can be played back just fine when you find it?
>Now realize for that to be the average, half of them have to be even dumber than that."
That's not how averages work.
>Inb4 I was merely pretending
I probably fucked up his joke, I was trying to paraphrase it from memory. my bad.
>It's a "characters use a simplistic video phone system to communicate even when they're ten feet away" episode
>It can be fooled by just wearing sunglasses on your profile picture and faking a voice
Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate dumb jokes. But when you're laughing about how dumb other people are at the very least you should have a grasp of middle school math.
kek
>IT'S JUST FILLER, POINTLESS FILLER
That reminds me of that joke in Austin Powers where the guy gets thrown into a fire trap and he screams and talks for a whole minute walks out of the trap then gets shot
fallout 76 reeks of this, it needs wastelanders so badly
You don't see them because they all died while recording their logs.
It is if he's using the median.
When you think about how iq is specifically measured for 100 to be the average it makes a bit more sense, if a bit of a downer. So for every person with say 130 iq there’s someone with 70 running around
God damn am I happy my company only uses QA to smash into walls and the only play testers are us devs.
99% of laymen refer to the mean when they say average.
also everyone just records day to day conversations even if they have no explicit reason to and leaves them in a convenient order to tell a story
Not saying
>The median layman refers to the mean when they say average.
beta testers can't even get mcdick jobs and developers dumb down games to their level. really makes you think
>reward for sparing her both times is her going crazy and lowering your readiness score in 3
Not that the score mattered but still funny
>Valve forgot the default method of solving mazes is to follow one side until you reach the exit.
Simple problem solving foiled by game design.
This phrasing is a unusual mode of communication
i HATE video games
Do you mean that the average layman doesn't communicate this way ?
He must have died while writing it.
I thought Grout's mansion was great, but I laughed at some of the notes left behind in the haunted hotel, where the diary entries added written ellipses and dramatic pauses describing the guy actively breaking down the door.
>Doom 3
>Every audio log is the same, "People are getting sick, going crazy, and hearing spooky noises"
>Have to listen to all of them in case a safe code is mentioned at the end
>If you forget the code, have to listen to a few of them again until you find it
If I ever replay that game, I'm just looking up the codes online. These things were so boring.
No I was trying to make a mean median mode joke