Meanwhile on the UNS/V/ Pillar of Autumn

What do her farts smell like

>9 replies
>8 posters

One of us here, is a grunt. And it isn't me.

>11 replies
>8 posters
yeah sure

Ey, that's pretty funny

Like hot air blowing out of a computer.

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

oh fuck guys I am done I called Sgt. Johnson a nigger and now he told me to see him after lunch fuck me I wish the covenant would catch up

That actually made me rock hard

>STICK EM IN A SCUPPER WITH A HOSEPIPE IN 'EM,
>STICK EM IN A SCUPPER WITH A HOSEPIPE IN 'EM,
>STICK EM IN A SCUPPER WITH A HOSEPIPE IN 'EM, EAAAR-LIE-AY IN THE MOOORNING
>Wrong melody.

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fuck me turns out the sleeping spartan I've been jacking off and cumming onto wasn't the injured girl instead it was Cheif

Ok I've got a dumb question. Nobody ever talks about how by this point, every colony had been glassed and all that was left is Reach. What percent of the human population was left? Was most of their population on earth? Did the Covenant legit murder >50% of the human species?

he really gets off on that, you're in for some kinky shit

WHERE THE FUCK IS DUBBO THAT SON OF A BITCH OWES ME A FUCKING BEER COME ON CHIPS YOU SAID YOU WERE GOOD FOR IT

I'm not a lore expert but I think it was just Earth's population left; all the small colonies had been wiped out before Reach.

How did we beat the covenant when they probably outnumbered us 100:1

spartans and the fact humans were the ancient ayys all along FUCK 343 "lore" for ruining the general theme of reclamation set out in the trilogy

Alright guys, I've figured out how to fix halo.
It's alternate timeline shit, or maybe in the far future (?), but humans are a part of the covenant (or A covenant, whatever) and the main character is a human soldier who gets covenant weaponry and armor and is second in command to a female elite who leads the platoon while they tear ass across covenant space fighting a civil war against the prophets.

343 bullshit aside, the Covenant sort of lost steam and broke apart before being able to fully finish off humanity as a result of the happenings in the games, and the biggest pieces became less hostile afterwords.

Enters into your shipfu thru its anus

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There were some pockets of humans hiding away in dark parts of the galaxy, but Earth was supposed to be all that was left (and it got wrecked pretty bad) but then 343 decided that there were lots of populous worlds that got spared! Just like how there were huge military forces left to humanity despite, y'know

You've obviously never tried Private Johnson's cooking

WHERE ARE ALL OF THE GIRLS? THIS WHOLE PLACE IS A SAUSAGE FEST OTHER THAN FOEHAMMER.

It was me

I just ignore 343 lore. Literal Bethesda tier niggertry with these unnecessary retcons.

I was never under that impression all and leaned way heavier towards what 343 ultimately did than "Earth is all we have left" take. What canon are you using to base that off of?

Mind you, I stopped reading the books after Ghosts of Onyx and Cole protocol.

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It's just the natural consequence of the "plot hole" (and I use quotations for a reason, mind you) at the end of Halo 3 where the Elites are in control of an interstellar superpower and humanity is basically fucked as far as intergalactic politics go. You couldn't have that in Halo 4, so somehow humanity is on par with the Elites despite losing everything. Yeah, the Covenant Civil War still going on makes okay sense, but even divided the Elites should still be superior to humanity.

It's sort of like how in Stargate all the humans have is Earth, but they're on par with the Jaffa because hurr durr.

Just heard some rifle fire East of the Car Park. Better check it out.

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I would have accepted it if they'd said that the Elites got majorly shaken up as a result of the civil war which put them on a similar level to humanity, or at least just heavily worn down. But no, everything has to be a one-up or some form of escalation.

Damn I miss Freelancer so much...

Care to join me in the showers?

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I gotta ask, man... Why the helmet? What happens if it gets taken off?

fuck off

Shanks u stealthely

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If that's your thing.

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wouldn't the schism have rekt the elites too? like covies bombarding elite planets until the elite's naval skills drove them off?

Just pulling numbers out my ass here, but assuming that in 500 years time the earth’s population is around 12-15 billion, and iirc Reach (the largest colony) had a population of something like 2-3 billion, with the average colony population being idk maybe 500 million; and from lore only around 50% of people on average managed to evacuate every time the covenant showed up and glassed the place, with maybe like 75 colonies in total, your looking at roughly 20 billion dead from the whole 27 year long war, so yes most likely over half the human population did die like the black death

This looks like the beginning of a Toonami bumper

Oh fug

They kind of fucked themselves over with that whole civil war caused by their attempted sanghelli extermination thing they tried, on top of their ongoing attempt at exterminating the humans

I mean, I bet it would be extremely painful

Covenant races had literally thousands of star systems under their control. Earth had 800ish COLONIES, which included science stations and other small places. The Covenant also traveled through a much larger chunk of the Orion arm. The civil war wouldn't have crippled all of them, let alone a single homeworld for a species that largely evacuated it in the first place.

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Cortana prepare to amplify the AG in the shower block by 10x.

Earth's homefleet, one of the most powerful forces, was decimated twice during/2 years after the events of Halo 3. Humanity was far more crippled.

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Jesus fucking christ, it seems really retarded for the setting to gloss over that and just have us be buddy buddy with elites. Even if they have fat asses that's just cold.

I think I get it. The Elites are like China in Red Dawn 2, propping up a fragmented human bloc to use as a bargaining chip.

MCC is the biggest embarrassment in the history of video games rivaling mass effect

flux and warm electronics

Glossing over it and becoming allies with a race that would've killed you off otherwise is a very smart choice. It's stated multiple times that humanity would've been destroyed by the Sangheili/Covenant if it wasn't for the Arbiter's decisions. On top of which, attacking their homeworld with little knowledge of them in the first place is very retarded, especially when Humanity was at its weakest.

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Do you think the captain will do any more crazy maneuvers with the new ship? He nearly killed us with that loop thing.

In the old fluff, everything but earth and a few inner colonies was gone, the fleet at the start of 2/3 were the last ships left, and humans were on the verge of extinction
343 rewrote everything and made it so a few years after the war humans kicked everyone's asses, had better tech, more ships and for shits and giggles were trying to start a war with the elites who owned 75% of the Orion Arm

WORT WORT WORT

the ultimate proof that american meritocracy has failed is that these people get to be writers

Even if the Schism caused huge amounts of havoc in the Covenant regions, that's still nothing compared to being reduced to one or a handful of planets and having your population and economy completely destroyed. It should have taken centuries for humanity to recover.

Hey Cortana I've been thinkin'; y'know how those scaly sumbitches get real panicky when you cut 'em open, start crying about 'muh honour' and shit?
Well I found something here in the archives, with a little work it should fit the MA5 like a glove. Spool up the fab and set the boys to work, I want one of these for every rifle on the ship.

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Sir, are you sure arranging a warthog race track down the entire length of the ship will improve our offensive capability?

halopedia.org/Automated_surgery_suite
Heh, nothing personnel.

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Offensive whatnow? Oh right the Warthog Accelerator Cannon, yes that's absolutely essential: Never know when your boarding party's gonna need a bit of local firepower.

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Cool, make sure to leave a blood trail I can follow because I'm sicking the spooks on that tech.

This is why I hated the alliance.

IDK, it makes sense from a survival perspective. The elites could use the manpower themselves given that only tiny numbers of the other species sided with them during the schism.