/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #3506

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STATUS REPORT OF TODAY
NOW

Retarded faggots. Making these threads over a nothingburger. Sad.

Preaty based intent, even if too faggy execution for my taste

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My theory is that the Chinese in Wuhan were dropping dead to something else, not this pussy-ass coronavirus you see today.

reuters.com/article/us-china-health-plague-explainer/explainer-dont-panic-about-chinas-black-death-plague-cases-idUSKBN1XS0S6
>China reported a third case of bubonic plague on Sunday after two other plague cases were revealed last week, but the disease remains rare despite its fearsome reputation and authorities say the cases appear unrelated.

Pneumonic plague (a coof version of the bubonic plague) was making a comeback just last year in November 2019, the same time that a supposed new coronavirus made its way in China. Could this have been the cause for China's panicked response in Wuhan and not really the novel coronavirus? Maybe they really DID have millions of deaths and maybe they really DID have those people being welded shut and just dropping dead but they have since then got things under control and now they're just doing psyops to have the whole world shutting down its economies over a non-existent (((epidemic))).

Explains why there's so much shilling now in /cvg/ to exaggerate the disease as much as possible. It's in China's best interest to have the whole world shutdown as long as possible since they will be the only ones to benefit from a positive economic growth rate despite taking a hit themselves.

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Based ofc

>George Webb
>not a disinfo shill

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pretty based

:)

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always based

If 50000 people died in the last 30 days under severe lockdown conditions, why the fuck does anyone want to go back to work. If we ease up the lockdown obviously more people are going to die. Why does anyone want to go back to work when it might literally kill you?
What is wrong with this timeline?

Still fucked.jpg

Has to be
I still dont understand where all these test kits are magically pouring from. They are all Chinese.

WHEN I SAY NOTHING YOU SAY BURGER!

NOTHING!

Lol holy shit /cvg/ is insane

Wiill PayPal a cucumber for coronochan edits

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Yeah so when comes the part when crying virgin general starts jerking off to lewd images of their chink waifu?

>We started shipping a lot more than usual Merchant Fulfilled orders because of the situation with FBA, so the system flagged our account for a “velocity review” and they are now holding all of our funds —
Is this part of Amazon's terms and conditions? If not, they can be easily sued.

BURGER!

>burger hours kick in
>these threads turn to absolute shit
See you tomorrow, /cvg/!

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Past 4 months have been very comfy. Thanks /cvg/ frens

SNAFU

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You're still comissioning blonde ones?

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Covid-19 FACTS:

1. Vibrates through solid concrete walls
2. Turns your lungs into ovaltine
3. All business all the time
4. 150% mortality rate, will bring you back to life and kill you again
5. Reinfects the body by folding itself into cells over 1000 times
6. 100% confirmed to make anyone who comes into contact with it infertile, pops their inner organs like balloons, and gives them intense cravings for curly fries (which only activates the more fatal version of the disease)
7. Corona virus WILL kill you, it WILL kill your family, it WILL kill everyone you know, it WILL kill everyone on the planet, the 0.5%> death rate is going to randomly spike to 150% for no reason just wait I promise
8. Anyone who breaks quarantine is already dead, they're double dead because they didn't stay inside, we're all going to laugh at them dying because they caught the mad coofing disease that kills everyone all the time everywhere hahaha!
9. Our ONLY option is to wait for Bill Gates to save us by injecting microchips into our weiners and stamping a barcode on our foreheads, only then can we be safe

These are all 100% STRAIGHT FACTS, anyone disagreeing with them is a SCHIZO, Corona virus is so deadly im ALREADY DEAD JUST FROM TYPING THE NAME OH GOD BILL GATES SAVE ME AA SAVE ME SAVE ME AAAAAA

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Hoooolllyyyy fuuuuuuck the spammers dude.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism_bias

Yeah it's pretty clear that you fags have no proof of this. Take your meds and get back to work.

>Some people say without ventilators, people die
>Others say going on ventilators caused them to die
So... Which one??

NIGGER

US REPORT:
>26M+ unemployed and counting
>unemployment/stimulus fiasco (no/late payments)
>”We Want to Work” Protests
>Riot Flash Points deniers who want to work >People Raiding Tax Offices Seeking Stimulus Checks
>rent strikes
>spike in suicides
>spike in domestic violence
>divorce rate rising
>spike in sexual assaults to minors
>spike in child abuse
>spike in family murder/suicides
>children struggling with adjusting to online classes
>increased drinking by all, alcoholics/drug addict relapses
>PTSD for survivors in most affected areas
>employee strikes
>employee walkouts
>evictions despite government orders, asshole landlords cutting power, heat, water, cable, electricity to tenets
>mass hunger among children
>blood shortage
>medical supply shortage
>medicine supply shortage
>off the meds crazies going insane
>released criminals will break house arrest
>prison/jail riots
>no sports, no entertainment
>hate crimes on the rise
>infected police force can’t stop crime
>relaxed law enforcement to prevent infection
>nurses quitting
>infected hospital staff
>people intentionally spreading infection
>infection “scares”
>possibility of a bank run
>endless quantitative easing devaluing the dollar >stampedes at grocery stores/looting
>food pantries emptied
>donations to charity/pantries/public welfare programs at a low
>life insurance claims
>refusal to go to hospital out of fear
>world leaders getting sick or indisposed
>looming oil crisis
>looming water shortage
>looming food shortage

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>shill desperation quotient (SDQ) is so high I have to flag filter my own countrymen
i apologize personally to every foreigner for any time i claimed that american's aren't retards

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Remember to return at 4am BST for /comfyhours/
Good luck out there burgerbro.

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All set.

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holy fucking shit

not cvg related, needs edits, argie

Chinese virus!

TRUE

pity them, at least we have other things to do while America is awake

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Its every day and it gets worse the more people get laid off. You are seeing the effects of 2016

154,164 total people die each day in the world (57 million in 2015). Nothing is wrong with this timeline.

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Nothingburgers are absolutely based beyond belief. They need to spread their astroturfing more in social media, that way we can get more retarded normies killed and potentially influence them to influence the world back to opening up. There are no drawbacks to opening the world back up, you can just stay inside comfy, while the rest die off. Ace strategy. Nothingburgers are playing 11D Connect 4.

Sure

I want her to be with a little boy.

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>Ecuador +208

Finally a third world country steps up to the plate.

Cringe faggot

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Yeah and about 300,000 people die in the US on average every month. The coronavirus WHILE UNDER LOCKDOWN increased our average monthly deaths by 16%. This is extremely far from a nothingburger

Underrated post
Batshit insane, but still good

Still nothing?

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I also apologize, see u guys later

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ITT neet cope

if it was the pneumonic plague people would violently cough up blood before they drop dead which would be easily recognizable on the videos from china

you still haven't explained how this plague would defeat antibiotics retarded seamonkey

it's all in the past bin fren

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NOTHING BURGERS ASSAMBLE THIS THREAD TIME TO TAKE BACK POL

...

I would also like to see this.

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>oh noes orange man made fun of ;-;

used to work a kroger job. it wasn't terrible but they pulled shit like that all the time, employees didn't get shit for deals

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post burgers

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I'm sorry people in your country live in a place called Dusseldorf. I'd want to die too

>take medication
>need to go see my doc to have it refilled (controlled substance, by law have to see him in person)
>freak out because what if he's closed for corona
>turns out he's doing all appointments over phone but there's a temporary legal exception where he can issue my prescription over the phone, because corona
fuck corona but also thanks corona
so relieved right now

What’s the earliest picture or link you have from Corona?

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Can somebody re-do this one with Joe Biden chasing a non CoronaChan girl?

Cute. Too cute. Giving me impure thoughts.

>333
Very nice, checked. Not american either, just stuck here for now.

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and Chyna knew about kids but didn't tell anyone

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GET BACK TO WORK CHUMP

10/10 based

We aren't insane, life is

Based, this shitpost has actual effort behind it. I look forward to more of your work, fag.

>noooo I want my fearmongering hug box!
Sorry bud!

www1.folha.uol.com.br/mercado/2020/04/brasileiros-recebem-ajuda-de-us-1200-do-governo-trump-contra-perda-de-renda-do-coronavirus.shtml
>TRUMP IS SENDING 1200 DOLLARS TO THE FUCKING HUE MONKEYS
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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cvg doesn’t have a job to get back to

>I come back after my ban here is lifted
>/cvg/ turned into absolute shit
Wtf happen here?

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Based GO TRUMP
KEK,i feel sorry for the cool burguers bro though

boston25news.com/news/trending/coronavirus-nevada-county-offers-disc-jockey-driveway-parties/2YD3HDTXFVBEZB4KO7OCYBFTIY/
Darwin awards 2020

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>33
Here it is agein

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updated

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Thanks for the update fren

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Trump is ordering slaughterhouses to stay open so sick workers can process your food because some of the most evil corporations on Earth are losing small margins of profit. It’s all predicated on lies.

Many rapid tests are shipped from China (And I don't know what other countries mass produce it). IIRC they have a sensitivity of 30%, which is 50% lower than required.
PCR tests are the most reliable and you should probably have tons of labs making those.

you have no idea just how right you are

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People got tired of the fearmongering doomposters

Some people just don't wanna go broke, it's perfectly understandable. I guess they don't fully understand that it's better to go broke than to go broke and also be sick

nobody wants to say it but governments are going to force people to go to work and risk getting sick at some point, no economy can hold so many people doing nothing

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Fuck yes I need more of these.

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nothingburgers and CCP shills are raiding this thread

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China is lying....but that's a UV Light tent for newborn jaundice.

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why do i have the creeping suspicion that you have red Siege

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I will focus my mental energy into Corona-chan so it may allow her to cause the zombie apocalypse

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It's okay burgerbros, just wait for a while until the retards in your country die off.

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>33
Big happening during Bong hours confirmed?

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Shlomo wants economy open do people have to believe it's over. Hence the spam

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The original one might say

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>ventilators are failing, causing lungs to go boom
Barotrauma is a bitch

>2 more weeks
Hahahahaha like clockwork!

I don't have very many.

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Gotta stay inside, goy

NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER NOTHINGBURGER

how can we relate 33 with a date or a hour this year?

wasted numbers and like pottery

Lol, and when we have the antibodies and you don’t, I hope you get coronavirus and die you stupid doomer faggot

I'm ready for another round of "Hey, I'm a frat boy that played baseball in high school and I'm cooler than you, so I came here to tell you geeks, freaks and high IQ asswipes that are smarter than me that coronavirus is a nothingburger."

what did he mean by this?

dilate

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Why do you guys post all the old news and not new news

time.com/5828413/dog-coronavirus/

>North Carolina Pet Believed to Be First Dog in the U.S. to Test Positive for Virus That Causes COVID-19 in Humans

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NOTHINGBURGER FAGGOT VIRUS IS SLOWING DOWN AND EVERYONE IS RE-OPRNONG UP

I used to have a screen of Wuhan lab on google maps, but i deleated it once everybode knew. Right now oldest pic in /cvg/ related folder is Papa

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Comparing apples and oranges. Also there is evidence to suggest that is much more widespread in Sweden based on their death toll. Also the UK is far more densely populated than Sweden. Sweden is a larger country. A lot of Swedes live in apartments alone which is not the case in the UK.

This summer is going to be a nightmare to kids when corona will start infecting them
remember this from Iran :

archive.nothingburger.today/Videos/Infected_or_Dead/Iran children corona virus- 1231483712036012033.mp4

we're are seeing the same thing here the only kid who died from corona lives in place 36 degree temperature

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The virus is slowing down because we've been in lockdown for over a month you fucking mouthbreather. If you stop the lockdown, take a guess at what is going to happen.