Hi Yas Forums this is my life story.
I’m 29 years old and I’m a beta-male (maybe beta +) I lost my virginity when I was 18 to a really fat chick. Then I moved around for years searching for a woman. I went to the bar every weekend and got rejected by 99.999% of all women. The ones I landed for one-night stands, where the roasties that only wanted a dildo with a heartbeat at 3am.
At 22 I met a girl. She was a roasties with depression and anxiety but had a great body and cute face. We really clicked since we both hated the world and had the same humour. She had severe insomnia and most night she was awake crying, I comforted her. I tried to help her by telling her that she needed some medical help, but she rejected the idea and said that she didn’t trust the medical system, since she already tried to get help when she was younger.
She then told me stories from her childhood. That her father was completely distant to her and that she craved his attention. But she never connected with him. That led her to alcohol and drug abuse, resulting in multiple rapes. She hit rock bottom.
I, who know my place in life, knew that this is the best I can muster. A cute girl, that is broken down. So, I started lifting her up. Helped her get clean, made sleeping routines, helped her eating real food. We fell in love. During this time, my greatest fear was that when she eventually felt better with herself, she would leave me. Like a used-up tool for her. That I was only a means to an end.
We moved around a lot. Had some trouble in finding our place in this world. As uni neets the D-day approached, we would need to find jobs and a place to live, to settle down. This led to a lot of fighting. Where should we live? How will we make money? What happens if we get a job offer in different towns? Etcetera.
My life
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Then she got a job and moved to a new town. I finished my degree and moved with her after a month. I got a job in the same town; we bought an apartment together and everything felt like it was going to be ok. We stopped the fighting and fell in love again.
Then I manage to convince her of seeking help for her anxiety, depression and insomnia. She went to the doctors and got some melatonin and serotonin. Within 3 months she was a completely different person. She was full of life and I could tell that she was truly happy. She told me that she loved me every day, that she wanted to carry my children.
I felt great. I hit my jackpot, the best I can do. Not only is she cute and sexy, she is also full of life, the sex is great (since she had a lot of practice before me), but most importantly she is in love with me, I’m in love with her and she want to have my children. I was on cloud nine. I started looking at wedding rings, I planned on proposing on her birthday. We were so called “soul-mates”.
Then this January it happened. After six years of fun times, hard times, the death of family members on both sides, moves to different locations, losing love, finding it again, she left me. A guy at work, who is about to be married to someone else. She asked me if it was ok with me if she fucked him. I told her no. She dumped me.
My worst fear came true. As soon as her depression went away, she went looking for Chad and left me in the gutter. I joined tinder now. Only roasties. I matched with one of them. I said hi to her. She un matched me.
So now I’m 29 years old beta-male and I’m completely down. She got the apartment. I wasted six years of MY LIFE healing HER. Making HER feel loved. Comforting HER. Being HER guiding lights in life. SHE left me. Only so that SHE might, (MIGHT!!!) fuck chad before HE gets married to ANOTHER chick.
>cont
I’m not even sad. I’m just so pushed down in the bottom of the hole called “my life”, that all my feelings just turned off. I’m going to give this life another year. If this is all that I am, then I will off myself. Only thing I can do now is try and survive in this GOD FORSAKEN FUCKED UP WORLD. And if I can’t find any purpose, the question is:
Should I do it quietly, or with a BANG?
Jesus Christ man
Maybe she left you because you never learned to be succint
I cried after I read this, bro. You will be a great novelist someday. Keep at it.
Jesus, this isn’t your personal blog or a teen vogue forum dude
this made my heart melt
When you do something good for someone don’t expect shit in return. Be a fucking man and be a provider its in your nature and be alpha as fuck bro stay positive your not even in the half-time of your life bitch. Keep your chin up and go grind and get fucking yoked son.
Did she shit on your back before leaving you tho?
You committed to a roastie instead of a good girl just because she looked better. It seems you were conscious about it the whole time so I am not sure why you complain.
tl;dr
Yas Forums is not your personal blog faggot
Yas Forums is not dear fucking abby
there are 60+ boards on Yas Forums - use them.
Yas Forums is not your personal safespace for you to post about what the fuck ever random topic pops into your peabrain.
the fact that you posted this here and not on a more appropriate board shows that you are either too fucking stupid to post on Yas Forums or just a cowardly snowflake that's too afraid to venture outside this containment board.
fly sparrow fly - perhaps one of these days you will become an eagle
>(((Sweden)))
Nice try nigger
OP, I know it's hard when we invest in someone and eventually lose what we invested, but you didnt just change her life for the better. Although you are hurt and feel angry and sad right now, I think you should also acknowledge that she helped you too.
There's things she helped you realize about yourself and things you helped her realize. I wish she wasnt a dumb cunt whore bitch to you, op, but you've led a interesting life. Why let this one thing bring the end to that?
You will meet the one, just don't try to force it and always be careful of the effort you put into others. If you were able to put that much love towards someone in their time of need, then you can do the same for yourself.
A lot of people dont know how to start loving themselves and it starts really simple. Think about today, but think about the thing that brightened your day or something you dont normally do. Hell it can even be something you do everyday, but you should tell yourself that you appreciate whatever it is that made you value life today or whatever it is, man. Don't become like most of pol and let one bad event, no matter how fucked it is, ruin the good heart that you very clearly have.
I am sorry for what has happened to you. I cannot help but ask,
>Sweden
Was Chad black?
Whatever you do should be unconditional. Do without expectation of outcome. You did a good thing. Life always throws the unexpected at you, there are worse things and better things. One day you're on top of the world and the next you're holding a dying hand. Dont give up so easy when faced with the depths of the world. Everyone faces tragedy, go on forward.
Tl;dr version:
>fixed up this toastier into a fully functional woman with a lot of effort and sacrifice
>she leaves him for the chance to fuck a Chad
>should OP off himself in a year y/n
Don't kill anyone else if you truly want to take yourself out. That being said. I don't think your a beta male. Just really fucking unlucky. I dont have anything to say that will help because genuinely if you are telling your story from a totally non biased, objectively truthfull prospective. Then you are a great guy who just got fucked in the end by a narcissistic roastie. Try and make it through the down times. And the downs can be really fucking bad. But we believe in you user. One nigger to another. Oh and as someone who cleans up suicides. Please don't use a shotgun.
This made me cry. Thank you.
What are you some demoralizing wannabe rob dyke?
Also for next time >.
Kill her first.
Kek
At least it wasn’t a nigger.
>I went to the bar every weekend
Mistake spotted.
I wanted to call OP a faggot. But only because he reminded me of myself. Your response hit close to home. Thanks bud. Good words
tl;dr also go to >>/soc
Get creative hobbies and destructive hobbies. Creative ones for when you feel at peace and destructive ones for when you feel rage. (Working out boxing etc)
If you want loyalty buy a dog and take good care of it. Women are ruined. Walk away from it and try to enjoy life in a carefree relaxed way. Spend your time in a way your highest self would respect. Good luck brother.
No need fren, I hope I've helped you. (: Love ya dude, you're really appreciated whether you openly accept this or not. I sincerely hope things get better for you.
>I went to the bar every weekend
>I joined tinder
You keep making the same mistake, and wonder why things don't work out.
Don't look for women at bars, Nighclubs or on hookup apps, look for women in science labs, churches, and local interest-specific meetups (hiking meetup, museum meetup, bird-watching meetup, Star Wars shit meetups, etc).
I used to be like you OP, fortunately it didn't take me 6 years to realize this is not the way.
What you need to do is find a young girl (below 25) get married within 6 months and make her pregnant. This is the only way, love and affection will come after that. When they have kids their instinct will force her to stay with you.
Suggest the idea marriage within 1 month of dating, if she looks happy, continue on.
If she gives you a "wtf dude" face or laughs, dump her. Move on.
Try to meet her parents and family early on. If she rejects, dump her. Move on.
Love will grow with time, not by early affection like in movies
this is they all do which is why you can't make your life about women. they always do this. they even do it to 'chads'. current culture is set up in such a way that there are no social repercussions for their unhinged behavior. you cannot make your life about a woman, or women. not under the present system. what you are feeling right now that you are ready to die that is what some rotten bitch did to you. don't punish yourself for what someone else did to you. accept your part of the responsibility which was putting a woman before yourself, get back up and move forward. better things lay ahead but more importantly a better you
Nice blog post.
Did you think all these men were making it up that all women are whores?
First time on Yas Forums?
I don't know if this is supposed to make me feel better, about never having achieved anything with women.
You suck OP
>thinking you've been a hero, a savior.
>Thinking being beta is something that you cannot change.
Here's some boards for a faggot like you OP
Fucking pathetic. Roasties gonna roast, you are obviously not smart.
Take some traitors with you when you suicide.
Once you were 90% on her actually becoming something decent, it was time to pump babies into her before she was comfortable enough to look elsewhere. Pregnancy is literally the only thing that can keep women bonded past year 5. Pretty sure their hormones assume you're infertile because they aren't already pregnant.
She had already had countless partners, her bonding ability was completely destroyed by the time he met her.
Actually bars can be a great place, but you go early. Women who stop in for an after work drink on a friday but who go home afterwards have great untapped potential. The ones who stay drinking all night can be disregarded but the one who stops drinking and goes home is the one you are looking for.