NO MALARKEY
YOU KNOW THE THING
LISTEN HERE JACK, YOU DOG FACED PONY SOLDIER
Tyler Collins
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Kevin Williams
Jack Bailey
WASHINGTON, D.C.—"It was like trying to video chat with your grandparents," said one supporter after trying to watch Joe Biden's latest press conference. "The whole thing was pretty painful."
Like other candidates, Biden has moved his press conferences and rallies online, giving speeches for several minutes or until he becomes completely incoherent, whichever comes first. But Biden has struggled with the move to technology, being unable to see the people he's talking to and not being able to sniff anybody's hair. What's more, he still hasn't figured out how to operate even the simplest streaming video software.
"Is this thing on? Can you guys see me? Hello! Hello! Hello!" Biden shouted for several minutes on end, never able to get his entire face in the frame throughout the press conference. "Hellooo! Is anybody in there?" He was then informed that nobody is actually in the computer, confusing him further.
The increasingly agitated presidential candidate finally threatened to fight the laptop and then challenged it to a push-up contest. Aides rushed into the room in hazmat gear and gently coaxed him to the game room for Bingo and his meds.
"They don't make these computron doohickeys like they used to, I tell you what!" he shouted while being dragged away.
James Collins
give me a better Biden ramble than that, come on!
Dylan Baker
DROP DEAD JOE
Luis Garcia
I’ll slap you right in the chops, tiddlywink. You broken down jackwagon. You mudfaced molasses man. How dare you talk to me like that you 2 cent nancy?
Camden Edwards
Checked for kids playing with keg hair
Sebastian Miller
Leg* sad day~
Asher Brown
You ready to be set straight? Back in 1995 I was the afternoon shift supervisor for the Electronic Boutique at the Logan Valley Mall in Altoona PA. Had this one nogoodnick coworker named smacks Kellogg who’d always call out sick under the required heads up policy. So one afternoon I was taking my nephew on a hot date to Johnny Rockets for a burger and malt.....where am I?
Colton Martinez
he needs to be like a funny version of this guy
Ryder Morales
woah hold tight there pilgrim, was just trying to find your pal corn poppins fresh so you can name him to the supreme court
Daniel Gray
if he's got another thing coming then donald trump thinks he's tough... did they find nemo?
Hunter Powell
Xavier Jackson
rectum pushing hussy sauce
Brandon Perry
Kentucky
Jordan Watson
Evan Allen
Where the pool f-f-f-f-filter is
Landon Baker
Jackson Phillips
Isaiah Reyes
You know I really can't take this guy seriously. I was actually afraid of Clinton winning the presidency 4 years ago. But with this guy, I just can't take it seriously, he is literally a senile old guy who lost a few steps.
Owen Torres
Death is a preferable alternative to malarkey.
Cooper Richardson
Make fun of Biden all you want. You won't be laughing long once election day rolls around. He may be a little quirky but at least he's not a racist sexist homophobe. America has had enough of the cheeto-in-chief
Oliver Foster
Ryder Cook
If hes not sexist how come he only sniffs little girls hair not little boys?
Carter Bell
Blessed niggersluts
Josiah Gray
He does sniff little boys on the lips
Landon Cruz
Decent
Asher Young
Joe likes grannies
Luke Davis
IM FEELIN IT DEEP DOWN IN MY PLUMSSSS....AHHH FUCK HERE IT COMESSSS....
CCCCCOORRRRRRRRNNNNNNNPPPOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
UUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
Robert Bennett
OK I take it back hes clearly an equal opportunities molestor.
Bentley Phillips
Biden is the ultimate lolicon.
Chase Collins
Why does he touch people like that?
Jeremiah Brown
Thanks. Ive been looking for this since i first saw it.
Jeremiah Martin
based
Ryan Cruz
Lolicon Joe strikes again.
Robert King
Adrian Thompson
(you)
Jaxson Harris