Are dogs literally the best investment?
>programmed at the genetic level to love and serve you unconditionally
>gets you out of the house, forces you to get exercise and socialize
>built-in security system, scares off intruders and will protect you with their life in a confrontation
>just having a dog exist in the same space as you is proven to decrease cortisol levels and reduce your heart disease risk
>dogs are the perfect wingmen, helping you get numbers and slay pussy
>or you can just fuck your dog (or take the knotpill and let them fuck you), it's no-strings-attached sex whenever you want it and no risk of pregnancy or STDs
>training a dog teaches both of you the value of discipline, habit and perseverance
>food, vet and supply costs force you to learn financial literacy and develop a budget
>if you still fuck up financially you can always eat its meat to cut your losses
>similar emotional reward to raising children, but at a fraction of the cost and effort, plus no risk of estrangement later in life
>when they die, you can grieve appropriately for a few days and then go out and buy a replacement so the ride never ends
Trying to think of negatives and can't think of any. I would argue at this performance/price ratio that adopting a dog is a better investment than even a 500 ounce stack of silver. Am I wrong?
