Did you take the bidet pill yet?

Did you take the bidet pill yet?

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No, I'm not a faggot. Thymed

I let my black bull rim me to cleanliness. Bidets are for faggots.

I don't get it. Don't you still have to use toilet paper? Otherwise you'd soak your underwear after using it.

>bidet curious
Why is this kind of cancer always coming from you guys
>bidet curious
>sexually curious

I prefer toilet paper because it's not gay like having a man piss on my anus

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How does one actually use a bidet?
I think that one unanswered question alone has prevented bidets from ever selling in significant numbers.
You see a bidet in America and nobody knows what to do with the damn things?
Do you wash your hands or pee in it?

“Oh a bidet? I thought that was some kind of fucked up spare toilet so I pooped in it. Sorry”.

Here's how it's supposed to work: First you wipe yourself with some tp to get out the bigger shit residues, then you rinse your ass and dick in the bidet using some intimate soap and water and finally dry your aforementioned ass and dick with a dedicated towel.

you take a dump in the WC, you wipe with TP, you stand up then sit down on the bidet, you wash away whatever the TP couldn't get off, you stand up and dry wipe the water

You sit on it and it shoots water into your arse and washes the shit out. We do not have them in the UK, aside from in certain hotels.

I'm surprised that they aren't common in the USA considering that you are all obsessed with shit

>poop towel
that reminds me of when I made a hobo-themed sim and had him live in an outhouse where my headcanon had him using a reusable cloth towel to wipe his butt mounted on the wall

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im voting bidet

I’d rather not have shit water sprayed back inside my asshole

lmao imagine not knowing how to clean your ass in 2020

Had one in the house since the early 90s, started using it for a bit when I was a teenager... but it actually weakens your anus in the long run.

I was on the bidet for four years, but when I had to start using toilet paper again it almost torn my arse to shreds - really hurt.

tl;dr bidet will make your anus weak in the long run.

I do this with my sink. I don't need a spare toilet to wash my asshole.

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>considering that you are all obsessed with shit
shittier than you, muhammad

If you do it right you don't even soil the towel, since there'll be no more shit in your ass.
I mean, yeah, you can do pretty much the same thing with your sink, it's just more of a hassle.

dude wtf lol it's still poop/ass water

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Not doing 2nd dipping the American way

>americans discover how to actualy clean their asses

Fucking kek, the shart memes were real.

Years ago. It’s one of those things that after you have it you’ll wonder how you lived without it. Wiping shit all over your ass is perhaps the most repulsive thing most people do every day. I’ve tried to tell people this and they laugh. I tell them no problem. Keep going out 4 times a week to hunt TP. It cut my TP consumption down to 1 roll every two weeks from 1 roll every 2 days. Get one if you don’t have one. 55 bucks. 10 minutes to install. My ass is happy. And clean.

What's more gay, washing your ass with water or rubbing your butthole with your hand every time you take a shit?

Also consider this: if you got shit anywhere else on your body, would the only thing you did to clean it off be to wipe it off with a paper towel until you couldn't see it anymore?

You also use soap along with the water, do you replace your bathrobe everytime you take a shower?

He doesmt know that his ass was really clean these 4 years and that dry poop crust was acting as a shield protecting the sensitive ass skin.

You literal retarded cunt. It’s fresh water. Holy fuck some of you jerk off dumb fucks I hope don’t breed. You’re fucking up the gene pool.

It almost sounds like a real comment .. but the numbers

Blessed be the SPQR.
It is better hygienically while also cheaper.

Not using bidet is barbaric. Take the bidet pill, paper hoarder tards.

I got a cheap one that attaches to my toilet. When I’m done shitting, I spray my asshole clean and wipe with just a bit of tp to dry the water and make sure it’s fully clean. It has changed my life.

Exactly. Don’t try and explain it to fucking retards though. They’d rather wipe shit all over themselves and they are literally like monkeys in a zoo that play with feces instead of cleaning themselves.

Assymmetric equations indeed.

what the actual fuck

Shit, wipe then flush. Lift seat, place ass inside waterbowl and flush again. Full wash and no wussy bidet