I am running out of TP. 2 rolls left. No TP in any store for over a month now. Where do I go from here?

use books, go to the library and check them all out

must be a really shitty month

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Italians have bidets, as far as i know gemrany doesnt has many bidets, same goes for austria.

Rly now? how? just how? You can find plenty of TP here in austria kek

Crap in the shower and stamp it down the drain.

People in first world country's learning how it's to live in Venezuela. LOL. They starter like that after socialist colapse their economy.

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you can use paper towels if you don't flush them Washcloths too, but wash them well. Hope you have bin for the smell.

make/buy a bidet bottle.

Go to the library, pull a lefty book off the shelf, and then take it into the bathroom with you.

imagine stuffing that up inside you and twisting it around. Must tickle. Is that what they did?

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Wet newspapers

I've been using table napkins that I found in a dollar store in a mall that no one goes to. I bought most of their stock

Get one of these. After you poop, hop in the shower to clean up, dry with a towel.

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Buy a copy of the Communist Manifesto

Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP will be worth its weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

Fix your diet so you only need one sheet per shit.

collect leaves
watch out for gestapo and stasi

Best post of the wutangflu

Hurr durr how could you eat much we herp de derp

cut up old t-shirts you dumb shit

fix your bidet

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Well if he drinks less, his shit gets harder and there isnt so much shit around his asshole if he shits. OR he just gets into the natural shitting position (squatting) that is actualyl very clean and heallthy for your asshole,

Take a shower after.

sponge soaked in bleach water

This.

I've done it several times when I forgot to buy TP in time and it works great.
The only downside is it takes more time than just wiping, but the end result is so much better.

Pee on ur butt

>get basin
>pour water
>clean your ass with water and soup
>dry with a towell

When I stopped drinking alcohol, my shit improved like magic.

you just go up to that tp mine and look it in the eye and give it a firm handshake

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Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 2 rolls per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 56 rolls a week. Over 200 a month. TP will be worth its weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

Kleenex, napkins, paper towels, baby wipes.
I have 132 rolls of TP, 6 boxes of Kleenex, 8 packages of napkins, and 27 rolls of paper towels. And I’ve had most since before the panic buying because I’m a natural hoarder and I like to know its there.

Just another day in argentina huh?

Use whatever comes in the mail.

no in Argentina we have bidet
enjoy your TP tardpocalypse

If there's one thing i know about germans, it's that they love their scheisse videos

if your shit is solid like a rock you don't need toilet paper at all.

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schnitzel In girls mouth and get her to lick bum bum clean desu

If you live in Frankfurt I'll give you some, Brudi

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No, it's not a native American dildo you perv. You just wipe your ass with it.

You know what to do

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Imagine being a regular on this board and not having adequate stache of TP.

But pressed camping TP in Amazon. Just add water for instant wet wipes.

You run it horizontal to your asshole.
Am I the only person here who wipes with corn?

I heard in USSR phone books were a commodity

You should have prepared for unexpected events, dummy

The weak must make way for the strong

youtube.com/watch?v=c4OP5xAqfWE

A bucket with some pine sol or bleach mixed with water in it. Cut up an old t shirt into squares. Shit, wipe ass, drop square into bucket. Repeat until ass is clean. No, you fucking retard, don't try to flush the cloth. Keep a lid on bucket, when full, was t shirt squares.

People had been cleaning their asses for hundreds of years before the invention of toilet paper. No one is asking you to split the fucking atom or launch a damn space shuttle. Just to keep your ass clean. Fucking Germans.

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Get a sprayer and attach it to the water pipe that connect to the toilet. Common in asia. Works great. I havent bought toilet paper in 2 years

We had a few big packs of napkins we got literally years ago. Somewhere around 2k nice textured napkins. That's my back up plan

Buy kleenex. 2 ply

Put on a mask and go to the store.

Smear corona fecal matter in DNC offices

Buy a peri bottle. and paper towels or napkins to pat dry

>Only 2 days left
You're in my prayers, Hans

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FUCK YOU CARLITOS!!!

wash ass in public water fountain. Democraps will cheer

ask pol/lgtb bottom gen how do i Douche.

sucks to be you, I have over 1,900 baby wipes that can last me for 3 years or more if i stretched it

That's not clogging up your shitter I hope

Use a garden hose you absolute mongo

Newspapers. Just like in the old days.

We know Brazil puts their TP in the wastebasket monkey bro.

dumbass american can't tell countries apart, he thinks you're us

Shit at public toilets

I visited Italy over a decade ago. Many clubs and bars had holes in the ground for shitting. The hole was surrounded by a toilet seat which was fastened to the ground. For pissing, a large horse trough. Trieste

Or the Talmud haha

I have insider information on TP!! I was recently at Walgreens; the woman at the counter told me during elderly only hours (which is usually right when they open) the elderly buy up all the TP. Im guessing the elderly are stocking up to give to family members.

zeitungen. Preferably with Merkel's face.

Ask to your best fend to clean ur @ss.

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